Mass effect 3: Perspective
by MrBlazenGlazen
Summary: "There are no facts, only interpretations." Post Mass effect 3 destroy ending with Tali relationship. Rated M due to incoming adult language and content in later chapters.
1. Prologue

((Hey all, glazen here. I'm new to fanfiction dot com and I haven't written a fanfic before so I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now. Though I'm sure that will change due time. So yeah, about dem Mass effect 3 endings. I don't like them one bit, but I used my point of view to shape it into something more desirable. So I decided to write a prologue to my series of stories, chapters that I will come out with every so often. It is a shepard/tali story, so it will revolve a bit more around them than other characters. Though I will try to add in other characters eventually, as soon as I figure out exactly how they would act in certain situations.

So without anything further to say other than the "I hope you enjoy it" shpiel, I give you the prologue to Mass effect: Perspective.

P.S- I wrote this thing at midnight, so don't judge me to hard. =p))

_"There are no facts, only interpretations."_

His vision was zoning in and out. Everything looked fuzzy and the ambient noise was to incoherent. To Neil's despair, he learned that he couldn't move as well. His body was in a tight grip of something powerful wrapped around his chest. It felt like it was crushing him yet it seemed so peaceful, so very soothing. Neil didn't know whether to resist the object that paralyzed him or to embrace it. His state of consciousness was a discombobulated mess, so many things running all at once. It felt like life was being drained out of him, but yet not to a level in which he would perish. The slow and agonizing pain was beginning to creep up on him the same way his nightmares did. Then, after a few moments of despair he grasped at one memory that seemed to drown out all of the others. It was chaos and utter devastation everywhere, and the reapers were casting their dark shadow throughout earth and the rest of the galaxy. Yet in that darkness, he stood hand and hand with his quarian known as Tali'zorah vas Rannoch, the light of his universe. No, perhaps not just the light, but perhaps she was indeed his universe. The amount of immediate emotions was enough to make him gasp.

She told him on the verge of tears "I need…more time." Those four words would change him forever. It was the most precious thing, the most precious sight he has ever laid witness to. Neil softly cradled her faceplate affectionately. He wanted to tell her just how precious she is to him, and how that he will give her more time than she could ever imagine after he pulls off what seemed impossible. Though to his dismay, time was running out, and all he could ever utter was "I know, Tali." After that, he remembers the harbringer, the citadel, the illusive man, and how the catalyst influenced his guilt to pick the options that it desired. Then there was a large ball of flame that consumed his entire body. The reapers and supposedly all other synthetics were either destroyed or disabled, he saw it with his own eyes as he was being rescued.

Though what happened afterwards puzzled him. There were memories that were missing. Was it minor amnesia? Was everything that transpired on the citadel real? His vision began to piece itself together. He was in a hospital and it seemed like it was recently attacked. There was fire and debris in front of him, possibly an explosion. Scanning his surroundings, he sees groups of soldiers running throughout the floor, yelling orders that he couldn't make out. They were going room by room, rescuing other fellow soldiers and civilians that may or may not have been injured. He also saw bodies as well, all apparently shot to death. It seemed confusing at first; he thought he stopped the reaper threat. However, as he turned his attention directly across the fire and debris in front of him, he was able to piece his memories together. Neil witnessed a figure wearing doctor clothes walking backwards, looking directly at him. Closer examination then showed that the doctor had a devilish grin painted on his face. Neil remembers him now. His name, what he said, what he's done. Pure unfiltered rage consumed him, and if it wasn't for this object that was holding him back, he would have chased the figure through the fires to inflict brutal punishment and pain across that smug face. But his inner fires were put out, when a realization hit him. Neil happened to be one of the hospital's patients, he was bleeding and burned rather badly, and his body was being cradled and rocked back and forth. There was a soft, muzzled voice that was very close to him, and it was speaking to him. Its voice….her voice had hints of distress and despair in them. Neil immediately recognized this voice, and as soon as he did he softly grasped one of her three digit palms and softly stroked them. A response came quickly; as Neil felt something cold nuzzle into his neck as he slowly laid his head onto her chest.

Before he let himself go to sleep he uttered the words that he wished he said at the final push. Now seemed like the perfect time to say them.

"Tali, you are my universe…"


	2. Chapter 1: Far from heaven

((Oh, why hello there guys! It's so nice to see you again. So I have finals at my university for the next few weeks or so. Fun for the whole family! No, not really. I'd rather it go suck my butt, and write more Mass effect stuff while I'm at it. Also, holy fajesus, I already had a few people add me as their favorite author and a few others put my story on their alert notice. I only wrote a prologue…so I guess that means I must be doing something right!

So here it is folks, chapter one of Perspective. Let's take a little jump back to before things went to hell, huzzah!))

Chapter 1 – Far from heaven.

"_But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself."_

A blinding flash of white light struck him. He couldn't see anything, but he heard everything. The screams of billions, the wailing of children, he growls and gurgles of monsters, the sobbing from loved ones, and the roars and cheers of toy soldiers. The scenes were in no way coherent or understandable, everything seemed to be flying past him at Faster than Light speeds. But then, his senses seemed to switch places at a sudden instant. He was in a city, possibly in London. There was a painful ringing in his ears; he couldn't even hear the beating of his own heart. He was alone in this place. There was nothing but stiff darkness and emptiness. The night sky was bleached red, as if the earth itself were bleeding. The ringing in his ears increased with more intensity, so much that it forced him to his knees. The pain made him grit his teeth to the point where it felt like they would shatter. There were oily shadows from his nightmares appearing over the horizon ready to take his soul away to some god forbidden place. Shepard wouldn't have it though; his soul was too strong for them to take. He looked up at the bleeding night sky, spread his arms wide apart and yelled as if he wanted to be heard by the stars. As he did this, it seemed as if Earth's bleeding sky cracked open, unleashing a bright red flame that devoured everything in its destructive path. Everything except his very own essence.

Neil awoke with a startling gasp on a hospital bed and clutched the nearest object as if he was holding on for his dear life. Unfortunately for a certain quarian, she happened to be this said object. She yelped in surprise as she was suddenly yanked down into a tight embrace. "Keelah, shepard! Its okay shepard, you're awake. You're awake and I'm here." Neil couldn't bring himself to respond. His body was trembling violently and he could only see the white ceiling floating above him. It was hard for Neil to make out what was going on, though he was able to make out some words such as "Shock" and "Code one emergency". At almost an instant he felt something sharp pierce his vein. It was oddly relieving; it felt like taking a breath a fresh air after being choked for so long. His head tilted to the side, and there stood the archangel along with his very own angel softly caressing his face. Someone broke the silence with a deep resonating chuckle; he knew it was Garrus's.

"I don't believe it. I told you Tali, even giant metal locusts and red explosions in space can't take Shepard down. Though I have to say Neil you have quite literally redefined what the impossible is."

Neil grinned back at his comment. "Well you know me. I got jealous the moment you decided to block a missile with your face and live. That got me motivated to go above beyond to outdo you."

"Ah, so that's why you decided to launch three suicide missions in less than one year huh?"

"Six." Tali chimed in.

"Wait, what?"

"Shepard launched six suicide missions since last year Garrus."

Neil kissed the top of Tali's hood and gave Garrus another smug smile. "Why thank you very much sweet heart. Well that puts the score at six to one, with me being in the lead. Looks like you need to step it up a bit buddy."

"Oh I am already working hard on that Shepard. By the way, it's two to six."

Neil blinked a few times looking puzzled, and then he rolled his eyes. "Right. That damned citadel wind just had to work in your favor in that shooting contest huh?"

"Oh yeah, that presidium breeze caused by that extremely heavy air car traffic sure did a number on your aim huh?"

"You're a dingus Vakarian."

"You know it.

"I can't believe that two of the closest people in my life that I care dearly happen to be the galaxy's biggest idiot duo." Tali exclaimed while softly embracing her lover's head.

Garrus smirked. "Well now, the 'biggest' idiot duo in the galaxy? That's quite the stretch. Are you trying to give us a challenge there Tali?"

Neil smiled at Tali affectionately. "Yeah Tali, are you?"

She couldn't bring herself to yell at both of them. It was quite hard to at this time, especially during an intimate moment. The only thing that came out was a heavy sigh that may have said more than just words.

Garrus seemed to get the clue and nodded his head. "Alright then. Well I hear Vega is at the firing range. I might as well leave you two love birds alone and go make fun of his piss poor aim. And uh, erm. You want me to leave a 'do not disturb' message on the door at least?"

"You go do that, Vakarian."

"Great. Though keep the noise down, the patients next door are sleeping."

And just like that, it was just Shepard and his quarian. They didn't say much at first. In fact they seemed perfectly content in just holding onto each other, cuddling each other.

"Neil, I just want to say right now that you are so lucky that I am hopelessly in love with you."

"Oh you don't have to tell me twice."

"No, you don't understand. If I were anything less than you would have no idea how angry I would be at you right now."

"Hrm, yeah. I'd figured that walking into giant explosions and almost dying in order to save the galaxy seems to be a very unhealthy habit that I picked up over the years.

"Really now, what were you thinking when you decided to blow up the presidium along with yourself? Even after the last time we talked before the charge?"

This gave Shepard some pause. "I told myself that…well. I knew that there was a high chance that I wouldn't make it out of there alive. And well, to be honest. I'm not quite sure what the hell happened after I entered that beam. Everything seemed so surreal. Reality and logic just seemed to gradually fly out the window as I made my way through the Citadel's controls. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. No, even with the galaxy hanging in the balance. So I did whatever I could to save both the galaxy and myself because I knew that…you would need me. It was written all over your face. I would never forgive myself if I had just died, and I simply watched you suffer from the other side. You don't deserve that, Garrus doesn't deserve that, Joker and the rest of the Normandy crew don't deserve that, the people that depended on me don't deserve that. I guess, maybe that was why I'm alive right now despite everything that happened. I simply refused to die. And now, you have no idea how much good I want to do for y-"

His speech was interrupted by Tali pressing her lips down hard onto his. Neil returned the favor and kissed her back.

"Tali, you sure this is a good idea?"

"Oh shush you bosh'tet. I don't care if I get sick, we're in a hospital."

"Oh ho ho, I like the way you think."

Tali cradled her lover's head and continued to kiss him with no end coming anytime soon. Garrus was right; they were probably going to be there for at least half a day. They might as well get comfortable then.


	3. Chapter 2: It won't fade

Chapter 2 – It won't fade

"_It doesn't matter where you hide. It doesn't matter that you cry. We will take you with us."_

"What's wrong with him, exactly?"

In a room labeled "Patient wing 102" in the Anderson Memorial Hospital located at the heart of one of London's largest refugee camps, there was man sitting solemnly on a hospital bed. He wears a body of a young man, but his face resembles of someone much older. Silence to him was the loudest noise in nature.

"Shepard has been experiencing post traumatic episodes as of late. Some are more intense than others. It's rather common among individuals with a military background. Unfortunately for you, Admiral Zorah, he is no exception."

Meanwhile inside the room, Shepard's hard gaze fell upon what seemed to be an empty corner. But in his eyes he sees the child of the lost staring at him, judging him. As the child steps closer to Neil, he can feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He doesn't want to be restrained by the doctors again, so he holds himself back by gripping tightly onto the mattress.

"Neil did tell me that he has been getting nightmares, before and after the reapers invaded."

"Did he tell you that he sees full bodied illusions and hallucinations from time to time?"

"No…no he didn't."

"Shepard has the strongest willpower I've ever seen from an individual. From what I've gathered, he is able to successfully suppress his episodes from taking place whenever he is put under extreme stress. However in his relaxed state, well. It doesn't stay relaxed for long."

"How come he's able to act normal around me and other people then?"

"That is something yet to be determined Admiral. Though it does seem that whenever he is around familiar faces his body returns to his normal mental state."

"I'll do anything to help him."

The doctor blinked curiously. "So it's true, you two are a thing then?"

"Yes, yes we are."

"Hm. Well in that case, I'm assuming that you'd be able to take good care of his mental health until he has fully recovered from his traumatic events?"

"I will do much more for Shepard than that, doctor."

The doctor gave herself a small grin and commented. "He is quite the lucky man." With that, she left to go tend to the other patients.

Tali didn't respond back, she simply walked into Shepard's room. He didn't seem to take notice since his attention was fixed onto the child. When Tali sat down next to Shepard, it faded away into nothingness. Only to return again when he's most vulnerable.

"Neil?"

Shepard snapped out of his trance and looked at his lover. He slowly wrapped one arm around her waist and squeezed.

Tali rested her head comfortably on Neil's shoulder and let him embrace her.

"Thank you for coming by again Tali."

"That isn't something you should be thanking me for Shepard, it's what I should always be doing."

"Mhm."

"Shepard? You never really talked to me much about your nightmares, or whatever you see during the day. I'm here to help you and I want you to know that you can be open with me."

Neil closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Yeah, yeah I suppose I didn't talk much about it with anyone."

"Why Neil?"

"I had to play the role as the commander that will save the galaxy. If people know that you are going slightly crazy in the head than they won't treat you that way."

"And you're saying that the things you did didn't make people think you were already slightly crazy in the head?" Tali teased.

Shepard let a few deep chuckles from that comment.

"No but really Neil. Tell me, please."

Shepard gazed long into Tali's eyes before nodding his head.

"Alright, yeah I'll tell you I guess. There hasn't been any marine I've ever met that hasn't come out of battle from some scars. Some of the…first major ones I received was on Akuze. I told you this story many times before. Those men and women, well, we were getting along fairly well. I uh, knew this one young guy who told me that after this he was planning on settling down with his wife and start a family. But we both know how that ended up. Part of me thinks that I could of done something to save him, and the others. I just don't know anymore, but I occasionally hear their voices in my dreams. They are not very pleasant at all. Ever since then I would always hear voices of the dead, usually in my dreams."

"Do they sometimes pay you a visit when you're not sleeping?"

Neil paused for moment. "No. They never do."

"Then who is it that you are seeing recently?"

"A boy."

"A boy? Is it someone you once known or…?"

"No, not really." Shepard frowned while he was recollecting his memories. "I saw him when Vancouver was hit. Hiding in the vents, his parents probably died in the initial bombardments, I tried to help him but he fled from me. I then saw him…I saw him board an evac shuttle. While I was busy fleeing away from the city…I saw the shuttle get vaporized right before my eyes. I know that when you are in the military you will see gruesome things happen. But this? I don't know, maybe it was the final inch that told me that this was simply too much." Shepard shuddered.

"I'm so sorry Shepard. You are a person just like anyone else. Seeing something like that would have scarred anyone."

"I saw him again at the crucible though, he claimed he was an AI that controlled the reapers. Nothing he did made sense. He gave me the option to destroy, control, or…merge synthetics and organics together. I knew my goal though, I destroyed the reapers. But then….I saw the relays explode and then I saw joker along with you and garrus fleeing from earth, and then crash landing on a tropical planet."

Tali shivered at the comment. "What you saw was true Neil. Though, we were trying to get to Illos. It was the only other way we could reach you on the citadel. Once you entered that beam, the conduit deactivated. But it was too late for us already."

Shepard let out a heavy sigh. "Well, we do have the best minds of the galaxy here, along with all these reapers lying around. I'm fairly sure that we'll find a way to get everyone back home soon."

"They already did, the relays were simply deactivated. Reactivating them is fairly simple but it can be a long process."

"I guess so. Tali?"

"Yes shepard?"

"How long were you and the rest of the crew stranded on that planet?"

"O-one week." Tali stuttered.

"How long…was I out for?"

"….two we-" Tali choked, unable to finish the word. She then spontaneously latched onto shepard's waist, dug her faceplate into his chest and began sobbing. Neil simply clutched her body and slowly rocked her back and forth muttering "I'm so sorry" repeatedly. This persisted for almost thirty minutes until Tali regained her ability to speak.

"I was broken. I felt so hollow when I was assuming the worst. But then when I finally came back for Earth to look for you, and I saw your limp body laying on that hospital bed. I just…Garrus and Liara were able to help me think rationally before I tried anything. Now, I have everything I ever wanted, but to see you suffering like this hurts me so much."

Shepard softly bumped his forehead against her faceplate. "We'll get through this together. And when we do, I will make you feel like a queen to me. Mark me."

Then during the intimate moments of their embrace, a loud shriek of a woman was heard down the hallway. The couple stepped outside to see what was going on. Marines armed with Class III Avenger rifles were escorting a grisly looking patient in handcuffs. This man had traces of blood across his face and his white clothes. As they passed the two, the blood covered patient shot a cold glance at Shepard, but then gave him an unsettling grin.

"No no no, keelah no!" Tali exclaimed. When Shepard jerked his head around to see what she saw, and it made his stomach turn. The kind doctor that was taking care of him and was beginning to befriend Tali was found bleeding on the floor. Closer examination of the gruesome crime scene shows that a fork was dislodged into her throat.


	4. Chapter 3: Angels are forever

Chapter 3: Angels are forever

((A somewhat short one. But hopefully a good transition into what is to come.))

"_You're going to miss again Vega_."

This city used to belong to the fiery pits of hell not so long ago. There was rubble; the streets were filled with decaying corpses, flames reaching hundreds of feet into the air, the ashes blotted out the sky, and monsters that were torturing the millions of screaming souls being damned to their suffering. Of course, if you take out the flames, the ashes, and the monsters, it still seems like hell. Only this time the millions of souls are grieving over what they've once had and can possibly never get back.

This was certainly quite the Monday morning indeed.

"You know what banana face? Every time you say that I end up hitting the target."

James threw another empty capsule off the roof, took aim with his sniper, and then…

"Fuck!"

He missed.

"Oh yeah, every time I tell you that you are going to miss because of your unsteady breathing rates you always end up hitting your target. I certainly am your good luck charm huh?"

"Garrus, Vega. Nice to see you two bonding as usual."

Garrus turned around to see Neil joining the two on the roof.

"Ah, Shepard! Nice to see you join us. Nothing like the nice morning air mixed in with ashes and devestation to wake you up huh?"

Vega looked behind him and gave Shepard a smile.

"Sup Loco? Good to see you standing on your feet again."

"Indeed it is gentlemen. So you two are having a little shooting competition I take it? Careful Vega, Garrus is able to use the power of his voice to make you miss every time."

"More like the power of a Pendejo I say."

Garrus blinked at Vega. Then looked at shepard, and then back to Vega looking genuinely puzzled.

"Okay now. So either my translator glitched, or you just called me a Panda. Do I look like a big, furry, harmless black and white terran bear that's full of joy to you?"

Shepard patted Garrus's shoulder. "Close enough."

Vega simply rolled his eyes and threw another capsule into the air, aimed his sniper and…

"Boom!"

Actually hit the capsule this time.

"You know, Shepard. I know that you actually let me win our little shoot off on the Presidium."

"Oh? Well what tipped you off on that idea huh?" Neil said jokingly.

"I've seen you hit targets almost half a mile away. There was no possible way that you would have missed that shot."

"Well of course Garrus. I needed your ego to grow so large that we'd be able to use it as a super weapon against the reapers."

"Zing!" Vega exclaimed.

"It sure did do a lot of damage didn't it?"

"Indeed it did Garrus."

They stayed silent for a little while, and then Garrus chimed in.

"Neil, I'd like you to know that I think you and Tali make possibly one of the best couples I've ever seen. And I believe it's a privilege for me to not only witness it, but to be very close friends to the both of you."

"Me too bro. Well, about witnessing it. Not sure if we're very close yet Loco, no offense intended."

"I appreciate it guys, thank you. It really is like blessing to me."

Before they were about to talk about something else, a few marines entered the rooftop and approached shepard.

"Apologies commander. But we sort of need your help with an interrogation regarding the Doctor Nini incident that took place yesterday."

"Yeah? What kind of help exactly?"

"The suspect won't respond to us. He said that the only person he will respond to is you, commander Shepard."

"Me? But why? I never met that sick fucker before."

"He claims otherwise commander. Again, apologies but we really would like you to help us out with this one."

Garrus looked at the marine, then at shepard, and then he gave him a nod.

"Careful in there Shepard, I'd rather have it that you come back in one piece."

"Yeah Loco, don't let the other crazies over there bite." Vega said.

"I'll be fine you two. This really shouldn't take long."

Things always seem to be moving in a constant motion for Shepard it seems.


	5. Chapter 4: The sting that bleeds first

Chapter 4 – The sting that bleeds first

"_Why is he staring at me like that?"_

Shepard wondered to himself out loud.

"I don't know commander. Frankly I don't really want to find out. But we need to get him talking. Can't just let crazies murder people on a whim like that."

"So you guys dragged me down here because you're too afraid to interrogate someone?"

"That's a crude way of putting it, but yeah. Though to an extent, the prisoner refuses to say a word to us because he'd rather speak to you."

Shepard narrowed his eyes at the marine, growing ever more frustrated.

"Just once, I'd like to have at least one damn day of peace and quiet. Fine, I'll help you. But after this don't expect me to shovel the shit that you're supposed to clean up."

The marine nodded in acknowledgement. "Understood commander. Be careful in there."

Neil simply grunted and entered the interrogation cell. The man that sat before him looked like an utter mess, almost like any other poor sod that happened to be on this crater riddled home world. The murderer's eyes suddenly shifted towards him, his eyes ice cold blue that could pierce through someone. He had no hair, though it seemed like it was recently shaved. There were a few burn marks on his face, and even more wounds were marked across his arms. He's obviously seen some things during this war. Just as if his appearance isn't unnerving enough, he shot Shepard the same grin he gave him after the initial murder.

"Shepard!" He said with disturbing enthusiasm. "You've finally come to visit me huh? That's great; all of these damned pricks here are have robotic personalities compared to you. Come on sit with me; let's have a nice little powwow with each other."

"Why the hell should I?"

"Why?" The man said in an exasperated voice. "Well I'm your number one fan Neil. I'd thought you'd known that by now."

"I don't even know you."

"Oh. Shepard, I think that tore a hole in my poor little soul. You forgot about little o' me already?" The man snorted and then continued. "Remember when we'd talk about our dream family? How I had told you that I had a crush on this one beautiful dame. You told me that we only live once, and that it's better to do then wish I did?"

Shepard stared right into this man's eyes. As the realization hit him, his skin went pale and his eyes widened.

"Caleb?" He asked, almost whispering.

"The one and only." Caleb said while leaning back comfortably in his restraining chair.

"But, I saw you die on Akuze. You were only a few meters away from me. I tried…"

"Saving me?" Caleb asked.

"Listen here Hercules, if I had died then I wouldn't really be here now would I? So technically yes, you tried saving me and you failed. Though I certainly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, so that means that doctor whatsherface's death was indirectly caused by you don't it?"

"How fucking dare you try to pin that on me. Oh yeah, that's why I'm here. What kind of demon decided to fuck you in the head to go ahead and butcher that lady like that? Mind telling me that Caleb? What the hell happened to you? You were one of the best; they were going to make you an N7 operative."

"I was wasn't I? That reminds me, we still need to have that sparring match you promised me. Your about ten years late on that."

"This isn't about the damned sparring Caleb! You realize that they are probably planning on executing you right? That doctor had children that were depending on her and you stripped that away from her!"

"Right right, calm your horses tarzan. I'll tell you the exact reason why I killed her." Caleb cleared his throat and then spoke again.

"I was in the mood to have filet mignon with a nice glass of Beringer. Beringer is always a nice brand to open up on a Sunday night. So I asked Doctor…Nini."

Caleb suddenly laughed, making Shepard more unnerved.

"I'm sorry; I can't say her name without chuckling. What type of parents would condemn their child for eternity with such a horrid name like that? Anyways, Doctor Nini came into my room and smiled. I hate it when people I don't know smile at me Shepard. She came into my room with a plate of spaghetti, water, and a fork. I asked her 'what the hell is this crap?' She told me 'Is there something wrong?' This is when…I started getting very angry. I yelled out 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?' 'I ASKED FOR A DAMNED FILET MINGON WITH WINE!' She then said calmly to 'calm down' and that the spaghetti at this hospital is actually 'very good'." Caleb narrowed his eyes at the memory, looking rather enraged.

"This ruined my plans for a decent Sunday evening, and I don't like it when things don't go according to planned. I then gave her the largest blood lusting yell I've ever given to anyone in my life. Oh Neil, you should have seen her face. It was absolutely precious."

Then he then shot Shepard another look. Something disturbing flashed through his eyes, it looked rather similar. It looked somewhat identical to the look he initially gave Shepard.

"Though, the face she gave once I picked up the fork and lunged at her was spectacular. You know that rush you get whenever you have the power to turn someone's vessel into an inanimate object? It was incredibly overwhelming. Her screams were music to my ears, and her blood bathed my essence with peace and joy as I stabbed her throat ten, twenty, maybe thirty times with that fork. The end." Caleb gave Shepard a sinister smile after explaining the gruesome details to the murder.

Neil felt his breathing increase, and his blood boil in his veins.

"You murdered that doctor, who had dependent children, because you didn't get your fucking damned steak dinner?" He growled at Caleb.

"She didn't plan on that happening now did she?" Caleb said, still wearing that wide grin on his face.

"You see shepard. I demonstrated just how random life can be. You never know whether you'll win a million credits the next day, or end up riddled with a million bullets along with your friends and family. That's why people make plans, in order to have this sort of pathetic bubble that they think will protect them from anything. All it takes is someone like me or you, or something, getting a sharp needle and POP…goes their bubble." Caleb started licking his lips, looking even more unsettling then he already did. He then continued his speech in a more menacing tone.

"Plans usually never work Neil. It may seem like it works in the short run, but then once time goes by you realize how big of a fuck up your 'plan' did to yourself, or to others. You see, you can't get a piece of paper and plan out exactly what happens in your life. It's all just random numbers and probabilities. Why do you think this 'civilized' galactic society is always damned nuts hmm? People never like it when things don't go 'according to plan'. Though when they start to realize that their cute little imaginary force fields they create for themselves and others are completely meaningless, they start to panic. When reality starts to kick in, they soon begin to see that they are nothing more than primitive animals playing dress up. For example, how do people react when marriages fall apart? When their closest friend or family member dies? When their homes get raided by batarian slavers? When…they see giant doomsday robots marching all over their home worlds and massacring their people? Do you see the point I'm trying to get across?"

Shepard had his eyes narrowed, and he slowly nodded his head.

"Yes. I get your 'point' Caleb. I get that the one close friend I had almost twelve years ago, the one best damned soldier I've ever witnessed that put the well being of others first, is gone from this universe. Instead all that's left of him his some abomination taking possession of his vessel that needs to be put down before it snatches another poor soul already struggling to get by."

Shepard stood up from his chair and walked away, shaking his head remorsefully.

"Do you love her, Neil?"

And just like that, Shepard spun around and glared at Caleb. The murderer gave him a cold and piercing look, and a smile that made it tempting to simply rip off his face.

"Ah, that seemed to get your attention."

"How the hell do you know?" Neil said infuriately.

"How do I know about your suit sack girl toy? Well really who doesn't know at this point? Anyone looking outside of the hospital and up into your room could witness you two having at it like if it was Shanxi liberation day." Caleb was laughing in delight while Shepard was clenching his fists so tight that it made his knuckles white.

"No answer huh? Well, let me give you some advice about relationships, friend to friend, buddy to buddy. You remember that girl I told you that I wanted to hook up with? Well I used your advice and it worked! Her name was Clair, and she was the most beautiful person I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. We were happily married and we had a beautiful girl that we named Collete. Want me to tell you one of the most memorable events I had with them?" Caleb then licked his lips again, he knew it made Shepard angrier and was clearly enjoying every second of it.

"It was actually this year believe it or not, over a phone call. I believe it was this March. So one day I was on a business trip out of town, I lived in Santa Monica at the time. I read Emily Wong's feed about the invasion, and naturally I panicked. I then got a call from little Collete, she was about five at the time. Her voice was so sweet.

She told me all excited 'Daddy! The giant lady bugs have come to give us a visit!'

I said 'Is that so huh? Please sweety do me a favor and stay safe with mommy, daddy is coming back home with you. Is mommy safe with you?'

She told me that mommy was outside 'dancing with the giant silver lady bug trees in the middle of the neighborhood.'

So then I told her to stay inside and wait for daddy. Then she told me that mommy looks very pale, and that she lost all of her beautiful hair. She told me mommy now looks like one of the lady bug people and she is running towards the house. Just when I was about to tell her to go inside the basement and lock the door, I heard some glass break and little Collete shrieking. That was the last I've ever heard of them. When daddy finally went home, he saw that his home was burned to the ground. He also saw the lady bug people that little Collete was talking about. The news feeds called them 'husks', though these lady bug people looked a lot like Clair and Collete. They looked so…beautiful under the burning sun. The little one came at me first, and I opened my arms to embrace her. But the little one that looked like Collete had other plans. It wanted to bite me and sink it's teeth into my neck. So I then picked up my baby girl by the throat and snapped her neck. I then pulled out my pistol at the love of my life, and I shot her with a full thermal clip. I sat there in the ruins of my family for hours on end."

Caleb began to sound and look unstable, but was somehow to keep his calm while explaining the gruesome details of his family's death. Shepard on the other hand still gave him the same enraged look as before.

"Why are you telling me all this Caleb?"

"Why? I'm just warning you of things to come."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What would your family think of you of right now?"

"Oh, you have contact with my deceased family now? Sure, why the hell not! You seem to be able to defy all aspects of logic anyways; can I borrow your omni-tool and make a call to the after-life? " Caleb then shot Shepard the same glare that was being given to him.

"Wake up Shepard. This isn't some damned fairytale where you can take your princess and live in some damned castle with her forevermore. You are no hero; in fact me and you are very alike."

"I am not a bloody murderer, Caleb."

"Of course you are Neil! You've murdered almost half a million people on whim and indirectly caused millions of deaths. Even for me that's pretty cold. Remember Akuze Shepard? How we both bolted straight for that evac shuttle? Twenty feet Neil, that's how apart we were before the thresher maws came at me. You even said it yourself; I was one of the best in the class next to you. If I was the one that was ahead of you, do you want to guess where we might be right now? We would be at the opposite sides of this interrogation table. Mmhmm." Caleb gave a deep chuckle.

"You would be the one being discharged from the Alliance, and being sent back to earth to have a beautiful looking woman to marry. She did look a lot like your Tali, did I ever tell you that? You would have her and her child for nine years, and just as things are starting to look up, all of it would be snatched away from you." He said while almost hissing at Shepard. Caleb then started to grin.

"And then I would be in your place. I would be under the illusion of being the big galactic hero, having my own ship thinking that I am surrounded by 'friends'. Most of all, I would have that beautiful, gorgeous looking quarian woman at my side." His mouth looked like it was about to drool.

"I am honestly dying to meet her Shepard. Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch, that name rolls of the tongue so naturally. I would do so many things to her while I repeat her name again, and again, and again. So that begs the question, do you love her Neil?"

Shepard didn't answer back. He gritted his teeth so hard that it seemed like they were about to shatter.

"Let me put it in a different perspective. If I were to go up to her right now, pick her up by the neck and make her SQUEEL LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH OF A SUIT RAT SHE IS WOULD YOU SIMPLY DO NOTHING?" Caleb yelled at the top of his lungs.

This was the tipping point for Shepard, and Caleb knew it. Neil flipped the table, booted Caleb to the floor and began his blood rage driven assault. Caleb on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the beating as much as Neil did, chuckling under his breath and spitting blood at his face whenever he could. The marines outside acted quickly to get Shepard off of Caleb before he beats him to death. Caleb's face was covered with his blood, and he simply laughed.

"You go ahead and enjoy your cute little illusions of a peaceful life Shepard! At the end of the day, all of these toy soldiers will be rooting for me and you will cast into the pit of hell that you deserve!"


	6. Chapter 5: Rusted Veins

((Sorry for the long wait folks. I was experiencing writer's block and holy hell this chapter turned out to be ten pages on Microsoft Word. Hope you all enjoy it! Also I had to put in the "transition into reality" because for some reason my line divider didn't register with . Maybe someone could help me out with that? I'd appreciate it.))

Chapter 5 – Rusted veins

_"Embrace Perfection"_

The trees were moving, yet there was no breeze in this isolated place. Their large trunks and bodies were slowly shifting towards his general direction. It felt as if the pulse from his heart was synchronized with every sudden movement the trees made.

_"Your efforts are meaningless Shepard."_

Neil swung his head behind him, and there was the boy that tormented his soul for the past several months. The boy didn't laugh, cry, or run when Neil spotted him this time. Its expression looked passive and emotionless, though it's judging eyes pierced right through him. He has seen things that would make a normal man burn himself from this universe to the next. However whenever he sees this lonely child it's as if he feels every vein in his body shiver and rust into nothingness. In some ways this boy reminded him of himself, of what he once was and perhaps in some ways what he still is. He was just an orphaned soul wandering aimlessly through an endless forest with no illumination to guide him. Every direction he takes goes back to the same place he started off in. Neil took a step towards the child and tried to speak, but has lost his ability to speak. There was a painful and burning sensation ripping through his throat and all that came out of his mouth with hot gas and his own blood. _"Your insubordination only delays the inevitable."_

Neil took another step towards the entity, and now a mind numbing migraine began to consume him. His vision zoned in and out, and all he heard were familiar voices crying out for his help. Why was he doing this to himself? What was the use to always chasing after phantoms who've always in turn game him nothing but emptiness. It was as if he was forced to give up part of his own soul whenever these two entities face each other, but from who and why he will never seem to understand. Something in his consciousness seemed to possess him to ask the child for once. What was its purpose here? Was there still a purpose for him to live, or had he already wasted his usefulness in this galaxy and it was time for him to go back to where the lost souls wonder for eternity? He took another step towards the child thinking that he is the key to unlocking all of these answers.

Then at that instant there was a violent tremble in the forest. The child entity caught fire and his piercing irises rolled back into its head only revealing the whites of its eyes. An army of the oily shadows appeared behind him and increased the pressure of the migraine. He really was the cause of millions of deaths; there was no poetic justice in that. There was nothing heroic about that and the shadows' screams were a strong reminder of that. Each one of them represented someone that he could have saved, but instead condemned them to eternal suffering. This was his punishment for as long as he lived, curl up into a pathetic ball while everything in his surroundings judged and condemned him. He tried to stand up and run but even his legs gave up on him. Soon the fires consumed the entire forest and he was surrounded. For the first time since he could remember he felt a wave of helplessness and loneliness flood his inner temple and felt as frightened as that vent child. Just as his impending doom loomed over him, a brilliant flash of light that seemingly came from nowhere melts the majority of the shadows. The hissing and growling voices of the dead were soon replaced with a familiar and soothing voice. He looked towards where the illumination came from and witnessed a beautiful silhouette of a quarian standing over him. A flash of different memories of her took over his consciousness as the silhouette extended a hand out for him. Neil needed this in his life now more than ever, to be attached to this angel behind the mask. He knew that without it doubt that Tali'ZorahFor would be the one to finally guide him to the end of the forest. Just as he shot his arm up to clutch her hand he heard a mind numbing horn that he recognized as a reaper, and it trembled the earth again. His pupils widened as he witnessed his only peace and salvation slowly disintegrating into nothingness.

_"You have already lost"_

((Transition into reality))

There was a violent tremble in the building which caused Neil to suddenly sit up from his bed and gasp. No, the reapers couldn't be simply marching around and causing havoc now so there was no way that that could have caused it. Did London have earthquakes all the way out on this side of the earth? Last time he checked he didn't recall any faults around this area. Perhaps there was a freak accident that happened at the hospital? Then there was the screaming that was not only inside the hospital, but it was happening inside the refugee camp too. This was certainly no accident. This hospital and the refugee camp are under attack by an unknown enemy. There was another violent tremble that knocked Neil to the floor. The situation is worsening by the second and he needs to desperately get out of this room and find his friends. Just then he heard a *bing* from his omni-tool. An "unknown user" was trying to get a hold of him on his number. This was particularly odd since only Tali and a few people from the Normandy crew have possession of it. He hesitantly activated the comm and established connection with the user.

"Hello?" His voice was groggy after the exhausting dream he just experienced. However, this certainly was no time to be resting. Especially "Wakey wakey Neilio. It's time to wake up to the new day." hearing an eerily familiar voice on the other side of the call. The adrenaline rushed quickly through his veins and his pulse started to beat significantly faster the moment he made the connection.

"Caleb?" He asked anxiously.

"The one and only, mister drama queen." The voice responded chillingly.

Neil opened the blinds from his window and witnessed large plumes of smoke and ash coming from inside the refugee encampment. This looked all too familiar as if his nightmares were beginning to come to life. Sweat broke on his narrowed brows and his clenched fist shook with ire.

"What the hell is going on here Caleb?"

"Oh, you know. I never really did congratulate you properly for stopping the reapers from annihilating us all, and I woke up today in a celebratory mood. So I've taken the liberty to place some fireworks for all to see."

"You are turning people into ash you god damned monster!"

"Hey now I'm not a monster. What do you expect me to do huh? You would think that they would be smart enough to stand at a safe distance and watch. Instead they are running around all willy nilly with their pants pulled down and their clothes on fire. Well, I guess that's simply natural selection doing its work."

"Why on god's earth did they let you out of your cell?"

"Good behavior." Caleb responded apathetically.

Before Neil was able to ask more questions he was cut off.

"Now I know what you're to say. 'How did ya get out of your cell Mister Caleb?'Well isn't that a wonderful question! Though it's not how I got out of my cell is what you should be worried about. It's what I want to do out here now that I'm back in your world. You know what this whole place is full of Shepard? Whiners, I can't stand whiners. They are always so unappreciative of what they have and all they want is more, more, and more!" His voice was becoming more unstable as he spoke.

"And you wanna know what whiners remind me of Shepard? Quarians. Quarians are the epitome of whining. I've seen it first hand with your trusty girlfriend in a can."

He got her. Caleb has the only person that can truly help him out of the pit he was stuck in, and he knew it. This was some sort of cruel children's game that he was forced to participate in, and Caleb was enjoying it far more than he was. Neil lost all of the composure that was left in him and felt his inner beast burst out of him.

"What did you do to Tali you sick son of a bitch!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"If you had laid a single fiber on her I will hunt you down to the ends of this universe and give you a repeat of the beating I gave you in that interrogation room and I'll never fucking stop. Do you understand that Caleb! I will personally set up the meeting with your dead wife and kid that you killed and have you sent to hell where you will burn, you son of a bitch!"

"Neil! Calm down my friend. Take deep breaths nice and easy."

"You want me to calm down!" Neil said with hint desperation in his voice.

"Yes Neil. Calm down. I get very nervous and anxious when people raise their voice at me. You know what happens when I start to get nervous and anxious? I lash out on the nearest object. And uh, your Tali'Zorah is about three feet away from me so that would make her the closest object. So yes, Tali is just fine and swell Shepard you can have my word on that. Of course we can always change that if you want to continue being a rage machine."

"_Please….Neil." _He heard her whimpering over Caleb's omni-tool.

"Tali! Please stay strong, I'm coming for you. I'll get you out of there alright? Please don't let him hurt you." His tone was now more desperate and panicked then enraged.

"Alright alright, now give me back the omni-tool like a good girl, there you go. Well that was cute. You know that reminds me Shepard, you never truly answered my question the other day. I am a scientific man Neil. I like to think and figure out how things work in this universe. Are you familiar with the scientific method? You first have to form a hypothesis, gather research, perform an experiment, and if the results match your hypothesis it becomes a theory. While you were attempting to bludgeon me to death in that interrogation room, I formed a hypothesis. I believe that you love Tali'Zorah. I truly do, but is that necessarily true? Well from what I've gathered from my primary source here everything indicates that it is. However, I always have to test my research before I decide if it becomes a theory. So why don't we start right now? If you don't arrive here at room 201 in five minutes, she dies. Can't wait to see you again Neilio. Oh, I almost forgot! Your uh, alliance toy soldiers are feeling a little antsy with their trigger finger today. It truly would be a shame for both of you if a stray bullet happened to hit you square in the face."

Just as the transmission ended he heard bullets being fired into the staff outside of his room. What he saw caught him completely off guard. He witnessed marines, faces that he was familiar with after being here for almost a week, waving alliance colors and massacring unarmed staff and patients indiscriminately. The people he called allies, the people that were giving their lives to protect the helpless, have become the enemy.

"Targets down! Shepard is in this room, breaching on your mark!"

Neil dashed towards the window without second thoughts. The only way he can go to the second floor of the hospital is from the outside.

"Breaching in ten, sir!"

There was no time to simply open up the window. The only plan he had in mind was to pick up a chair and smash the glass open.

"Breaching now!"

By the time the alliance busted through his front door he was just climbing out of the window. He felt the air around him being pierced by thermal shots that were just barely missing him. The air outside was so polluted with smoke and ash that it was hard to breath. Neil scaled down to the second floor and jumped through an open window. He didn't plan on a hostile being present in the room executing a patient. When the marine spun around and aimed his predator heavy pistol at him it was too late. He screamed in agony as Neil got in close and broke both of his arms and snatched his weapon. The pistol was steadily aimed at the marine's head. It was quite ironic how quickly the tables turned on him.

"Why are you murdering civilians? Answer me!"

The marine didn't speak back. Instead as a response, he took a piece of broken glass and attempted to stab the commander's leg. That was the last thing he would ever do before he had his brain matter splattered all over the floor, next to the innocent victim that he murdered. Neil didn't have time to pause and reflect what just happened in the past two minutes. It seemed as if trouble always found him at every end of the damned galaxy. The concept of rest would be foreign to him. He replaced the empty thermal clip in his newly acquired heavy pistol when he then received another call from Garrus.

"Shepard! What's going on around here? All hell is breaking loose! We have alliance marines shooting everyone in the camp. Dozens of makos and a few gunships are destroying every tent that they see. Liara, Vega, and myself got caught off guard and we're trying to make our way out. Everyone seems to be fair game here!"

"I don't know Garrus. But I don't have time right now. The prisoner that killed my doctor escaped and set off several explosives around here. He has Tali and he's threatening to kill her. I'm sorry, we'll talk later."

"Wait, what? Shepard!"

Neil ended the call and moved his way down the hall. He usually isn't easily repulsed at the things he sees, but this situation disgusted him. For the first time in almost four years he finally had his peace but of course it had to be short lived. Now the people who he's fought side by side with have turned against everyone, and a decent man who he once called a friend has turned into a murderous maniac who was hell bent on making people miserable. He's put down rabid animals before, and today he's going to put down another one. He glanced at the room numbers. Room 220, 219, 218, 217. Some of these rooms were opened and were riddled with bullets and splattered with blood. They seemed to be murdering the patients in each room and then dragging them out into the hallways for an unknown reason. He checked the clock and it his five minute mark is almost up. He is not going to lose Tali again, not like this. He used whatever energy he had left in him to sprint towards room Caleb was holding Tali hostage. There was nothing he wanted more than to put every single damned thermal clip into Caleb's head, take Tali away from this horrible place and hide themselves away on some corner of the galaxy. Garrus and the rest of the crew are more than capable enough to catch up with them later. Room 201, this was the place. Neil desperately wanted to shoot Caleb with every damned thermal that was left in this pistol, hide away with Tali in some corner of the galaxy and protect her from any trouble that may inflict harm upon her. Though of course, things usually don't go according to planned.

As he busted through the door he definitely saw Caleb in all of his pathetic glory, but he didn't anticipate that there would be someone else aiming a pistol at his forehead.

"Neil, oh keelah I'm so sorry. I can't…" Tali sobbed.

"Tali….why?" Neil gasped.

Caleb was simply sitting back comfortably as he watched the scene play out in front of him.

"Didn't expect that to happen, eh Neilio?" He said playfully. Caleb seemed to be wearing some doctor's uniforms now rather than prisoner garments. "Now drop the gun and kick it towards me."

Neil reluctantly followed his orders and then said "What the fuck is going on here Caleb?" Neil didn't even know what he was feeling right now. Everything externally and internally seemed to spiral completely out of control.

"What does it look like Mr. Fabio? It's my experiment. I want to know if you truly love her."

"I can't resist it Neil, I can't…so sorry." Tali continued sobbing.

A glowing ball of blue energy appeared floating above Caleb's palm, and as a result Tali then put the pistol to side of her helmet.

"NO!" Neil shouted.

"Now now, calm down. How would I get my results if I just killed her off right now?"

"Indoctrination. That's how you are doing all of this. That's why you wanted to be in that cell, there was an indoctrination device set up there and you knew it."

"Wow. You know Neil I'm not going to lie. I think you should have signed up for the C-sec investigator gig. It would have suited you better." Caleb said mockingly.

"Fuck you bosh'tet." Tali snapped at Caleb.

"That's my girl." Neil grinned.

Caleb didn't find the amusement however. He activated the blue energy which caused Tali to take aim and fire on Neil's general direction and yelped in panic. The bullet just barely missed him.

"You think experiments are funny Shepard? You think I'm just some joker? I warned you that this would happen, and you simply waved it off. People are always living on the edge of insanity, and all it took to make any of this possible was a little persuasion by me."

"You insane fucking monster."

"Crazy?" Caleb said amused.

"You haven't seen nothing yet. And I'm no monster Neil, I told you that. I'm simply a realist. Now where were we? Ah, that's right." He activated the energy and had Tali place the pistol back to the side of her head. Caleb then activated all of the lights in the room and revealed another hostage that was tied up to a chair.

"Since I know you are such a big fan of making tough decisions I took the liberty to make one for you. See this charming young lad here? His name is Stephan, someone you've never met before. Just another wee ol' stranger in your life. Poor Tali over there is under a lot of stress right now, and being under a lot of stress may make her think of irrational thoughts of suicide. Now why do you think that she's stressed out right now? Well, besides of me watching her, she believes that she hasn't won over your heart yet. I told her that's simply nonsense, and that I can prove otherwise." Caleb got off the couch and started pacing around the room.

"You won't get away with this you sick bosh'tet. The entire galaxy will hunt you down like the sick animal you are!" Tali bellowed at him.

Caleb walked up close to Tali and smirked at her.

"The entire galaxy hunting down little ol' me?" He dipped his head down to hers, breathing heavily on her helmet.

"I am counting on it, Pocahontas." He patted her shoulder and went back to pacing around his other hostage.

"So there are two ways I can let her out of my control Shepard, and the decision is completely up to you. If you want to prove to poor Tali that she has indeed stolen your heart, you simply have to steal Stephan's heart. As in, pick up those surgical knives over there and cut out his heart. However, if you don't have the guts to butcher this man, we will see little bits of Tali'zorah all around the room." Caleb said without emotion.

"Please…commander Shepard. Please don't do this to me I'm begging you." Stephan pleaded.

"I have a wife and...and I'm going to be a father soon. I'm the only thing she has left in this galaxy. Please don't do this."

"Yeah Neil! You can't simply kill off this fellow and leave his pregnant widow-to-be hanging around by herself right?" Caleb said with a mocked tone.

"Isn't that right Tali'zorah? You don't want your dashing boyfriend to literally rip out someone's heart for you right?" Caleb teased.

Tali couldn't bring herself to say anything. All that was coming out of her vox were sobs and whimpers.

Neil had to beat down the rage that was building up in him. He couldn't bare to handle hearing and seeing his angel in distress like this. He needed to think of something, there was always another way.

"Well are you just going to sit there like a bumbling idiot or do you want me to choose for you? I have better things to do today than sit around in a burning hospital." Caleb said irritated.

Neil didn't answer back at first; he simply glared at Caleb with upmost disdain. He then looked at Stephan who was still pleading and whimpering for his life. He's made decisions that caused the deaths in possibly millions of lives. Difficult choices he still hasn't forgiven himself over. But this was just simply too much. This wasn't the time of war where some things can simply be justified and forgiven. This was during a time of peace where people where beginning to pick up broken fragments of their lives and piece them back together. He wanted to be with Tali until the end of times, but the only way he can have her now is to sacrifice the man that he is. Take the coward's way out.

"I have a better idea Caleb. How about I take these knives here, and I cut open your chest to see where your heart is? Because to me it seems like you are lacking one."

"Oh how poetic of you. You think words will help you get out of this one? It's either him or her Shepard."

"Then I choose both of us. I don't want to sacrifice my morals just to play your damn games, and I will not live in this world without her. If you are so determined to kill both of us, then I want to die by her side with my dignity intact. Something that you seemed to have lost the moment your family died on you. Is that what this is about Caleb? Just some type of desire for revenge, and your using me as a scapegoat?"

Caleb glared back at Neil for a few moments before speaking.

"You think this is just some type of pathetic quest for revenge Neil? That phase long passed. I am simply showing you the harsh realities of living in this universe. The more you get exposed to it, the more you will be able to make competent decisions that will benefit people in the long run. And it will start with her death."

Caleb gritted his teeth and activated the blue ball of energy.

"NO. CALEB PLEASE NO!" Neil yelled out desperately.

He was waiting for the shots to ring out. Braced to see something that would scar him for the rest of his life. Witness the murder of Tali'zorah vas Rannoch, the one person who he truly loved with every part of his being.

But to his surprise, no shots rang out. Caleb looked just as awe struck and confused as he did. It looked like lady luck has struck again, since the indoctrination device seemed to have stopped working which stopped most of the fighting in the hospital and in the refugee camp. Most importantly Tali now has her free will back. When she realized this she pointed the pistol at a now panicked struck Caleb.

"Well, you certainly didn't expect that to happen did ya Caleb?" Neil said with a grin on his face.

Caleb glared back at Neil, not looking as amused.

"Things usually don't go according to planned. But that doesn't mean that you cannot form new ones to overcome an existing problem."

Suddenly a glowing blue aura of biotic energy surged out of his body knocking everyone but himself to the floor. He used this opportunity to pick up Neil's escape the room and dart down the hallway.

"Tali!" Neil decided to go tend to her first. She was clearly and understandably shaken up, but she managed to make out a few words.

"Neil…go. Go after him and kill him. He needs to die."

"You don't need to tell me twice. Take care of yourself; I'll be coming back for you."

Neil picked up the pistol that Tali was holding and dashed after Caleb. He saw him down the hallway and fired off a few shots. His aim was so piss poor that it would have made Garrus shake his head in disappointment.

Caleb then seemed to dart off to the left and jump down the stairs. When Neil arrived at the top of the stairs Caleb took a few shots at him, but missed due to Neil's quick reflexes and ability to avoid getting shot. He cursed and continued running down the stairs. Neil quickly followed him down the stairs. When he made it down he was blown back by a powerful biotic blast. However it wasn't aimed at him. He saw Liara walk down the hallway with the same intimidating, fiery biotic aura that Caleb had.

"You!" She yelled out.

"I was wandering when the new incompetent shadow broker would drop in!" He heard Caleb yell back.

Liara responded with powerful biotic throw that Caleb deflected with shocking ease. Liara now looked a lot less confident in her abilities then she did a minute ago.

"What…how?"

She was then biotically lifted up to the air, and then was hit with a devastating lash against the wall knocking her unconscious.

Neil then arrived at the scene pointing the gun at Caleb.

"You are going to pay for everything you did here you son of a bitch!"

He fired several rounds at him, but to his dismay they all bounced off a biotic barrier that Caleb had on him.

"Like I said Shepard. Form new plans on the spot to overcome tough situations. Hell, even the Alliance taught us that."

Neil was then biotically lifted into the air and then violently lashed down onto the floor. He yelped out in pain when he felt some of his ribs crack on the impact.

He tried getting back up, but pain and pressure was to much to do it himself. He tasted his own blood that streamed down his lips due to unintentionally biting his own tongue.

"You thought the tables turned on me Shepard. But now you and your friends will be dicking around this burning hospital and that damned refugee camp while I simply walk out the front door over there. I'm sure that you've already been used to that feeling by now though. With getting the crap kicked out of you by Kai Leng and letting Thessia along with its inhabitants burn."

Neil's pupils widened when Caleb said that. How did that information get leaked?

"Ah yes, I know about that Neilio. I thought better of you back then, I certainly would of thought that you would have been able to kill Mister High Horse Galactic Samurai right then in there. But I can't be right on all my predictions."

"What….?" Was the only thing Neil was able to say.

"Oh, and by the way Shepard? The Illusive Man says that you owe him a new chair."

Caleb took several steps back, and then activated a small device that he held in the palm of his hand. That was the last thing Neil saw before being blasted several feet backward and being consumed by the bright white light from his nightmares.

Caleb was true to his promise for the most part. He simply walked out of the front door while whistling and smelling the pleasant smell of ash and burnt flesh that was caused by him. A drop ship was waiting for him and he casually jumped in and flew away, looking down over the charred remains of the once beautiful London.

Neil only caught a few glimpses of his silhouette by the time he regained consciousness. He wanted to charge after him turn him into glue, but he was held back by Tali'Zorah clutching onto him for her dear life. He heard her sobbing uncontrollably, and felt her cold vox nuzzle into his neck. Neil's body was not in good shape. Pieces of his clothes have been burned off, and a lot of his skin suffered extensive burns from the blast. His body felt completely numb. The last thing he saw before blacking out completely was Garrus and Vega arriving at the scene. They both looked completely shocked and horrified at what they were witnessing. What pained him more was what he heard before the blackness consumed him. Tali's painful and gut wrenching wailing when she felt Neil's body become limp and fade back into the other realm he always wanted to avoid.


	7. Chapter 6: The Wild Heart

Chapter 6- The Wild Heart

_He really did came a full circle._

To cheat death once in order to combat a horrible force that terrorized the galaxy for possibly millions of years. Now he cheats death once again after he achieved the impossible of defeating the reapers, but to what end? Perhaps Caleb was right, he really wasn't any better than any other mass murderer in the galaxy. After all he wiped out the geth rather than to give in to a psychotic rogue AI's suggestion to enslave the reapers or force a disturbing genetic mutation on all organic life. He simply let millions of people die in order to by him more time on finding a fleet large enough to give the reapers the final blow. The people he met claimed him as a hero, a legend, some angel brought down from the heavens to become the great human savior of life. If that really was his eternal mission, he sure did a horrific job at it. Let everyone in the galaxy that survived the onslaught of the reapers live at the bottom of a liquor bottle and under the rubble and rotting corpses of what were once their homes and families. Neil understood why Caleb did what he did, in a weird and twisted way. He imagined himself in that same exact situation with Tali, if she turned into a husk that tried to kill him. Caught in a situation to be forced to put down the one thing that was his home, the one thing that was so pure that it kept him in check. He couldn't bear the thought of living in among the burning corpses of a galactic civilization without her. It would have completely sucked all the humanity out of him and turned him into a rage induced monstrosity. Caleb probably handled it a lot better than he would have indeed. Though the fact of the matter is that this man murdered so many people that were already suffering from the aftermath of a failed widespread genocide, and he tried to take the life of his Tali. He remembered the last moments before he passed out. He remembered that Caleb made Tali suffer tremendously. He made her suffer while she clutched onto a dying Neil. If that wasn't the signal for a war, he didn't know what was.

"Shepard?"

It was about time someone interrupted his train of thought. He turned has bandaged face and saw Liara standing at the doorway. Her expression said it all.

"Liara. Thanks for stopping by. How long was I out?"

"About [21] hours. Shepard, I should of stopped him, I'm so sorry."

"How was he able to take you out that easily?"

"I thought I could have stopped him with the limited amount of energy I had left. I had to fight my way to the hospital. Even then, I don't understand how he did that."

"Were you focused or did he catch you off guard?"

"Both, I suppose. I didn't anticipate that he was a very well trained biotic. Lucky for him though, next time all he'll ever be is a smear on a wall."

"Glad to hear it. Mind telling me how you knew him?"

She then made it obvious that she was getting nervous.

"I knew about him for a while now."

"Really now? Do tell, Liara."

"Shepard, please. I'm so sorry about what you, Tali, and everyone else went through. I really did not know that Cerberus operative Ghost #09 would be here."

"Ghost what now?"

"It is what the name implies Shepard. The man you once knew as Caleb Ronan is now one of Cerberus's most useful assets. He has a strikingly efficient success rating with his infiltration and assassination missions. Makes it look as if he was never really there. Hence why one of his known aliases is Ghost."

Well that seemed to make some sense. Caleb really was a ghost from his past. He never thought that an old friend would turn into some terrorist bastard with an itch for some senseless destruction and murder. Never less he didn't anticipate that he would have paid him and Tali a splendid visit after the war, and then disappear again.

"Wait, if that's the case. How were you able to hold onto his track record?"

"That's the thing though. I don't even know the full extent of his missions. The ones I tracked were the only ones where he has made his appearance known."

"Not a very good infiltrator then."

"No, that's not the case. It seemed as if he knew someone like me was observing him somehow. I assume that he intentionally made his appearances known, how would you put it? I believe he was 'Giving the audience a show.' "

"He really is a one of a kind diva isn't he?"

This got Liara to give a hearty chuckle, however it didn't last long due to the certain circumstances they were in.

"Liara…Tali?"

"I knew you were going to ask that Shepard. Tali is okay, but she's also…not okay."

"Explain….please." Neil growled.

"You need to see Garrus, Shepard. He's not dealing with this very well either."

"Well no fucking shit Liara, we just survived a terrorist attack!"

"Please, just go see him. He's locked himself in the room next to yours and he doesn't want to talk with anyone else right now."

Liara slowly backed out of the room giving Shepard a sorrowful expression.

"Liara! What the hell is going on here?" Neil shouted. Though to his dismay, Liara quickly scurried off elsewhere.

He cursed under his breath and lifted himself off the bed. For waking up from being nearly half dead yet again, the doctors sure did a bang up job. Or perhaps it's the painkillers doing their work. Either way, he's relieved that he at least has full functionality of his limbs. Though to hear that Tali is alive but "not okay" alarmed him to no end. Since Liara decided to run off, he figured he might as well give Garrus a visit and ask him for answers.

He looked through the window in the next room and with no surprise, he saw Garrus sitting on the hospital bed gazing at the view of a devastated London. However, he was surprised to see how ransacked the room looked

Neil pressed the intercom.

"Garrus? It's me."

And just like that the doors opened up for him. Liara was right, to say that Garrus did not take any of this well was quite the understatement. The walls had talon marks on them, every machine was tossed and utterly destroyed. The mirrors had cracked and were stained with purple blood. All of the beds in the room save for the one Garrus was sitting on were tossed onto the floor with their purple blood stained pillows and blankets ripped open. A scene like this shouldn't have shocked him as it did; he's seen Garrus enraged throughout couple years that he's befriended him. Though it seemed as though he was able to control it, and aim it at a certain goal or enemy. This obviously wasn't the case here.

"Are you just going to stand around like an idiot? Sit down, next to me." Garrus said sternly.

Also the fact that Garrus was "ordering" his commander was shocking too. However, he decided to play along with it for now. When he sat down next to him he noticed that his right talon was wrapped with a cloth that was dripping in blood.

"Garrus, I really think you should have that checked out buddy."

"Seems like your face got slightly disfigured from a blast Shepard. Welcome to the 'dashingly handsome males with scars' club.

"Glad to see that your sense of humor is still intact even when you feel like going on a rage induced rampage."

Garrus simply responded with a growl. His hawk-like eyes still gazing sternly at London's ruins.

Before Shepard said anything, Garrus cut him off.

"I know what you are going to ask, Neil. But I'd like to ask you something first."

"Shoot."

"Tell me who exactly that man was."

An old friend, a terrorist, a sociopath; a combination of any two seemed to fit.

"A ghost from the past paying me a visit."

"A friend you once knew?"

"Yeah." Neil responded sorrowfully.

Garrus closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"He was a lot like me actually, frighteningly similar. Shared the same ideals, had the same skills."

"Never thought you had any friends before I came along Shepard."

Neil ignored the insult. "He was a paragon of virtue. But, that all went downhill after he lost his loved ones in the initial reaper invasion."

"Then as far as I'm concerned, the friend you once knew as Caleb died along with his family."

"I….I guess."

"No, shepard. He is as good as dead. The next time that slimy, disgusting looking bastard decides to show is face is where I knick off one of his veins and watch him bleed out." Garrus growled.

"Garrus, don't you remember-"

"Don't even start that drivel with me now Shepard. You stopped me from killing that salarian doctor, you stopped me from murdering Sidonis in cold blood. Now, this is different. This man is not a human, nor is he a regular sentient like the rest of us. No one can have the amount of cruelty and absolute insanity that Caleb has and refer to himself as a person. Not even a damned slaver. "

"Garrus, please hear me out."

Obviously, Garrus didn't want to hear any of it. He stood up from his bed and steadily began hyper ventilating, then suddenly slammed his fist into the nearest wall leaving a dent in it. He then approached Shepard that looked completely shocked; towering over him with his teeth clenched. Garrus was definitely getting better at expressing emotions the human way rather than using his natural born expressions.

"My father is dead. My sister and my mother have been missing. So the closest I have to a family is you, Tali, Liara, Vega and some of the other crew." Garrus said in a deep and menacing tone.

"When someone or something inflicts trauma and suffering upon my brothers and sisters, I will personally go to every dark corner and edge of the galaxy to find the problem and utterly destroy it. Caleb is no exception. He not only murdered innocent people out of pure malice and personal enjoyment, but he attempted to kill my family. On top of that, he inflicted mental and emotional torture on you and Tali? I know I've killed so many people like him over the years Shepard. But this time it's personal. I will enjoy making him suffer the way he made everyone else did, and I will enjoy looking down on his limp body until I see the life being slowly sucked out of him."

"Garrus…you are going to become a murderer like him if you do this."

"I will not become a murderer Shepard!" He bellowed back at him.

"Killing a monster is not the same as killing a person!"

It looked as if Garrus was about to strike Neil, but he controlled himself by taking another deep breath and exhaling.

"Neil, I'm sorry. I just…I just completely lost it when I saw Tali. I've never seen anyone under so much trauma before. To see her holding your bloody, burnt, and limp body like that…to see her wailing your name over and over again. I've seen horrible things in my time Neil, but that just pierced right through me. I couldn't bear watching her like that. I just froze in shock while they wheeled you into the ER and did procedures on you."

"Garrus, where is she? Where is Tali? Liara didn't tell me anything."

"While the doctors were busy trying to save your life, Tali…"

"Tali what, Garrus? Spit it out."

"Tali went absolutely hysterical. She hacked through the locks on the doors and barged right in. She was wailing your name again, trying to get to you. Seemed like she wanted to do the procedures herself. The doctors didn't agree though, obviously. Tali was pushing and hitting them. She tried to get as close to you as possible. It got to the point where she broke one of the poor doctor's arms. His friend from behind then injected Tali with a sedative and put her to sleep."

Neil's pupils widened when Garrus said this. He needed to get to her right now.

"If I didn't control myself right then and there; I would have murdered all of those doctors. So as you can see here, I decided to release my anger in a healthy, safe, and efficient way."

"Garrus, tell me where she is right now." Neil ordered.

"Room 209, down the hall first room on the left. She should be waking up soon."

He couldn't help himself but to sit for a moment and try to take all of this in before running off.

"I'll make this easy for you, Neil. Get out of my room and go to Tali before I decide to kick your ass."

By that time Neil has already rushed out of the room and ran down the hallway as fast as his limbs could take him. He noticed that there was still blood on the floors and that the hospital itself still looked severely damaged, but he could leave the sightseeing for later. Tali almost lost Shepard twice in less than a month, she didn't deserve this at all. He was going to make things right for her even if it's the last damned thing he'll ever do.

There she was, beauty confined in a suit and sitting on her bed and staring at the floor. She was wearing her faceplate, but he could only imagine what she looks like right now. This wasn't the time to be imagining things like he usually was.

He slowly entered the room and revealed himself, though she didn't notice him. Neil then sat next to her and slowly cupped her chin up.

"Tali, I'm here now. No need to be worried now." Neil said with soft tenderness.

Her head turned towards him and she simply stared back. He wasn't good at figuring out quarian facial expressions because well, they hid it under a mask. Neil wrapped one around her and touched his forehead on top of her faceplate and looked directly into her pupil-less eyes.

"Hope you don't mind me having a closer look." He said with a warm smile.

Neil still couldn't tell what she looked like under the helmet. Her body was still frozen. However, he felt her heart rate beat rapidly, and she was breathing fast. To him this only meant one thing.

"_Three…two…one."_

And just like that he received one of Tali's signature pounces. She was small, but her heart contained more strength and emotion than possibly half the galaxy put together. She almost lost Shepard once this month, and she almost lost him again now. Her small arms clutched onto him so tight that he was locked in place. Then he heard her begin to sob and he lost it. Neil returned the favor and embraced her as tight as he could. Tali dug her head into his chest and continued sobbing.

"Why. Why does this keep happening Shepard?"

"Shhhh." He replied softly.

"Everything will be okay Tali. I will make things work out. I'm going to get you back to Rannoch and get you that home. I will give you the peace that you were always yearning for. Nothing will ever pull us apart, alright?"

"Shepard…do you remember what I told you before you entered the beam?"

"I want more time?"

"No…before you put me back on the normandy you told me to go back to Rannoch and build myself a home. I told you that I already have a home."

His thought process seemed to malfunction here since he had no idea what she was referring to at the time.

"You…do?"

Tali released her embrace and removed the irritating barrier that constantly barred her from the world outside. Her face said it all, she was clearly going through immense pain before Neil entered the room. Now even more than ever, he just wanted to pick her up and hide her away somewhere where he can hide her and protect her with every fiber he had left in him.

Tali wrapped her arms around his neck and slowly touched her lips against his.

"I'm looking at it right now, and it's everything I've ever wanted since I was a child."

Neil remembered a saying that each star in the night sky represented an angel. To him, this was all the proof that an angel has fell from the sky, a star that shined the brightest than any other, and she was all his. And he was all hers. She had this mysterious power to completely melt his heart and mend her soul within his whenever she was this close to him. This was absolutely no exception. Neil looked down on her with so much love that it made her blush. There were still a few tears lingering on her cheeks and right now he couldn't bear seeing her like this. He used one thumb to wipe them off, and then from there he quickly pulled Tali back into a strong and emotional embrace. Neil pecked her on the lips once, then twice, and soon he couldn't bring himself to stop kissing her. If he really was the home that Tali had always dreamed of then it gave him all the reason to be even more than that. He wanted to be her heaven.

It seemed like time had conveniently slowed down for the both of them. That was fine, because for what they are now time is eternal. The universe's hidden beauty wasn't just super novas, beautiful stars and planets, or even civilizations coming together. It was when two different souls merge to become one bright and pure essence. It is the one essence that possibly no one would ever be able to imitate.


	8. Chapter 7: The Outward Movement

(( I apologize for the long wait. I was feeling a bit uninspired and I was also procrastinating. I'm also starting up another project/experiment or whatever you call it on youtube. Go see my profile for more details. Thanks for you patience everyone!))

Chapter 7 – The Outward Movement

_"This place was rather familiar."_

The bed took the shape of his body as he lay down. With combination of the incredibly soft blankets it seemed as if he was being cradled by a cloud. When he gazed up to the ceiling, he noticed a dozen of glowing plastic stars at the top. Neil noticed a familiar woman's voice coming from downstairs, sounding a lot like his mother's. The sweet scent of herbal tea comforted him, and the sound of her soft laughter caressed him. Neil hasn't felt this kind of peace in years. It was as if nothing in the universe could ever bother him, and the only thing that flowed free throw his mind, body, and spirit was everlasting peace, love, and comfort. It suddenly dawned on him that this was his childhood bedroom on Mindoir. What a wonderful childhood that was. Every day before mother put him to bed, his father took him out for stargazing. The night sky was so beautiful and glorious that showcased thousands if not millions of stars. Father told him that each little start that he saw could be full of exuberant life, and that one day when Neil was older he could indeed find a way to reach the stars and possibly have start his own little piece of life within this wonderful universe. Oh how right father was with that assessment indeed. Though, he probably wouldn't have guessed his son becoming a galactic hero who fell in love with a quarian pilgrim that he may have inadvertently helped turn into an admiral. That would have been quite a shocker for father and mother.

Unfortunately in this galaxy, there is no such thing as everlasting peace. He heard his mother give a deathly shriek and his father give out a grisly yelp. His bedroom caught on fire and was slowly disintegrating into the dreadful forest he always seems to get himself into. His body was violently yanked out of bed and dragged along the crooked wooden floors of his burning memories. His clothes were drenched in blood. If it was his own he didn't know, though the blood soaked wooden panels made it hard for him to dig his nails into the floor. Finally the force that was yanking him stopped, and at the end of the hallway was the boy from his nightmares holding hands with the one he once knew as Caleb Ronan. The apparitions stared back at him with a sorrowful expression. Both of them were victims of this terrible reaper war in their own ways. Neither of them truly deserved the fate that was bestowed upon them. The one truly depressing realization was that Neil could have saved both of them if he had done something different in the past.

The sound of the reaper horn blasted all of the doors and windows in the house. The pupils of the boy and Caleb slowly rolled upwards only revealing the whites of their eyes. All the while he heard the excruciating shrieks and pained screams of the billions he could have saved. He couldn't help but scream with them as well as his body was then yanked and slowly dragged towards the two ghastly figures. As he got closer, Caleb's apparition slowly turned into a huskified formation. Its "improved" body had cables and wires piercing inside and outside of its skin while it dripped of purple synthetic liquid. The Caleb abomination revealed its razor sharp teeth ready to sink into Shepard's skull all the while the boy simply stood and observed.

Then suddenly he heard shotgun blasts come from behind him that knocked the huskified Caleb apparition to the floor. The boy opened his mouth and let out an ear piercing shriek similar to a banshee's, but it too was silenced by another shotgun round to the forehead. Both apparitions began to disintegrate right before his eyes. Neil wondered who his savior could have been, but he soon had his answer as two arms that contained three digits on each palm slowly pulled him into a comforting embrace. He felt the same tranquility he had when this dream began, if not better. The white light from the sky put out the fires, and made all of the shrieks and shouts stop.

* * *

Neil was curled up in fetal position digging his head into Tali's chest. He was shivering violently and sweating profusely. Tali was trying to comfort him to the best of her abilities by pulling him into a strong hug and tapping her faceplate to the top of his forehead. He heard her softly murmur incoherently; though he was able to make out words like "nightmare over" and "okay." Neil looked absolutely pathetic as a galactic hero. This was supposed to be a time for triumph and standing tall over pile of scrap that was once the reapers. Though instead he looked like a broken down, traumatized middle aged man that was dependant on the comfort of a quarian admiral. The galaxy can't see him like this, especially in a time where suffering runs rampant through the minds of its inhabitants. They need to see a shining beacon of hope to fulfill their need of catharsis. Although having their hero survive and form a beautiful bond with Tali might be something, but seeing Shepard as someone who appears weathered down and emotionally broken will not instill hope and optimism within the mind.

Neil noticed that his eyes were incredibly moist. It seemed as if he was sobbing during his nightmare as well, and it had a devastating effect on Tali. Although she had her mask on she made it painfully clear that she was distraught to see her man like this. When Neil looked up at her she started cradling and caressing his head; trying her absolute best to repair the holes that punctured his very soul. She wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him again.

"It's okay, Shepard." She whispered into his ear softly.

"Everything will be okay. I'm here with you now."

"I…had a, um." Neil said groggily before being cut off by Tali.

"A nightmare? I know Neil. I know a lot." She responded with a hint of sorrow in her voice.

She tapped her visor against his forehead again, and spoke in a more determined tone.

"I will break you free from those visions Neil, even if it takes me my entire life to do it."

Neil simply looked at Tali in awe as she moved one of her digits to wipe the tears flowing freely from his eyes; the same exact way Neil did for her just the night before. If he had any more energy than he had at that exact moment he would quickly removed Tali's faceplate and given her a huge kiss. However all he could do now is simply lean his head comfortably into her shoulder. He felt the hiss of air as Tali removed her faceplate and began to give Neil a series of slow and heart melting kisses on his forehead and then on his lips. If only his life were always like this. Neil told himself that if he had to do one more mission in his life, it was to pave the path for peace and prosperity for him and for her.

"So have they initiated a manhunt for Caleb yet?" Neil asked curiously.

"Yes. Major Coats proposed it and Admiral Hackett approved and initiated the hunt almost instantly."

"I'm guessing they know that the attack was mostly a message sent to me by Cerberus then huh?"

"They know you are alive, I know that much. But they are trying to wait for the right time to announce that you've survived the citadel explosion. People can't see you like…this." She frowned as she traced her finger along one of Neil's face bandages.

"But Tali, Garrus told me that I'll look more badass and attractive to you if I gained more scars." Neil whined playfully.

Tali responded with a deep sigh and a moment of silence.

"You are the most loveable idiot on the face of this universe."

"Dohoho now. You seemed to have changed me from 'galaxy's biggest idiot duo' with Garrus to the 'most loveable idiot on the face of this universe.' That is quite a leap there sweat heart."

"Think of it as a promotion." Tali responded playfully with a heartwarming smile. She then gave him several more passionate kisses on his lips and his cheeks.

Neil wrapped both of his arms around her waist and gladly returned the favor. He looked into Tali's eyes with so much warmth that it seemed to have melted her heart.

"I can't fathom how lucky I am to have you Tali." He said in a deep voice full of emotion.

"I am going to do so many wonderful things for you and this is only the beginning of it."

He thought then and there Tali would be all over him, and he'd have to call Garrus to put the 'do not disturb' sign up again. Though what she said next took him off balance.

"I'm going to kill Caleb, Shepard. If he is ever unfortunate enough to have me find him, I'm going to kill him." She said in a vengefully.

There were only a few times that he's witnessed Tali get angry, though it was never with such vengeful ire that she has right now. It was very understandable however, given what they've been through mere days ago.

"Seems like Garrus and Liara have some competition."

"The whole galaxy actually, Shepard. You'd be surprised on how many people have decided to take up arms and go looking for anyone with any Cerberus connections."

This made Neil frown.

"Caleb wanted something like this to happen, that crazy fucker."

"A shotgun a day will keep the baddies away.' Joker told that one to me, and from what I've experienced from the several years that I've known you now it's definitely true. I don't care if he claims to have the fanciest biotics in the galaxy. He will not hurt us or anyone else once my shotgun rounds pierce through his armor."

" I just can't believe how far he's fallen Tali. He was a really good man once."

"I know, Garrus told me that he was a close friend."

"Tali, you don't understand. He was…pretty much a mirror reflection of what I am. I'd bet that if he wasn't any different than what he was several years back, you'd think that we were brothers. I can kind of understand what happened to him."

"How so?"

Neil frowned and looked at Tali.

"Tali, he lost the people he loved in the most horrific way possible. He witnessed them becoming husks and he had to put down his daughter and his wife." He said with a whimper.

"Imagine if that happened to me. What would happen to me if I lost you like that?" The sheer thought made him shiver.

Tali was silent for a moment and deep in thought. That truly is a horrible way to lose the ones you loved the most. She almost began to sob just thinking about it. After a few minutes she was able to regain her composure.

"Remember how I lost my father, Neil? I used my grief to push me forward and help others. I didn't let his death change who I was. There are right ways in dealing with grief, and there are the absolute wrong ways to deal with grief. If what Caleb said to you was true, then that is possibly one of the most horrible things that can happen to someone. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But he let their deaths change him for the worse. He suffered horribly, so therefore he thinks he should spread his suffering among others. It is entirely his fault that he let himself compromise who he once was and become a terrorist, rather than using that grief to prevent that from happening to other people or with people that have gone through something similar. He's gone in too deep and he will never come back around. Someone needs to stop him before he hurts us and others."

Neil simply acknowledged her speech with a sorrowful nod of agreement.

"Shepard, I am really sorry about what happened to your friend. But for the two of us it is simply another mountain that we can and will climb over."

He immediately responded by giving Tali another deep kiss on her lips.

"I'll take your word on that sweetheart."

Tali gave Neil one more kiss before putting her faceplate back on.

"Come on Shepard. Why don't we go walk around outside and show everyone those newly acquired 'badass and attractive' scars of yours?


	9. Chapter 8: Dark cloud, silver lining

Chapter 8- Every dark cloud has a silver lining

_"The shining beacon of hope huh?"_

Shepard wondered to himself out loud with a hint of nervousness. Tali was at his side interlocking both of her arms around his waist while she rested her head comfortably on his shoulder.

"Yeah, who would have thought that someone like you would assume that role?" She teased at him warmly. Neil just responded with a grunt and continued to walk slowly down the hallway.

"Is there something wrong, Neil?" Tali began to sound worried again. He hates it when that happens to her. A beautiful woman such as her, full of optimism and positive energy, doesn't deserve to constantly be tacked on with problems. The last thing he wanted to do is make Tali worried about him.

"It's…nothing, Tali." He responded hesitantly.

"No, I will not let you bottle up your thoughts and emotions when I'm around. Tell me what's wrong." Tali had been very direct and assertive with him as of late. Neil wasn't sure if it was because she was beginning to get angry with everything that's happened to him in the past month alone, or if she was simply being over protective. Perhaps it may be a little of both.

"I'm just...I don't know. I am really unsure of the future I guess." He responded blandly.

"Neil, I've been with you long enough to know when you are making things up. It's usually when you end up saying something stupid. Of course the future is uncertain; it was like that with everyone before they even knew the reapers existed."

He responded with a heavy sigh as they continued walking towards the main entrance of the hospital.

"There was some truth in it. I don't know of this makes any sense but, I'm as worried about you as you are for me."

"That is what loving couples do, Neil."

"I know, but today it broke my heart to wake up see you crying like that over me."

"And it broke mine to see you suffer as you slept." Tali responded sorrowfully.

"That's exactly my point. Tali, do you know how frequently I experience episodes like that?"

"The doctor's told me it happens quite often. "

"I experience it every night. Every, single, damned-"Neil was caught off by Tali softly putting her index finger over his lips.

"Neil. I thought I made this clear many times before. I don't care. Well I do care greatly, but I told you that I will do anything and everything to heal you. I want to always be by your side, no matter what happens. I care about you so much that I will follow you to the edge of universe itself, and I will protect you from anything."

Neil paused and closed his eyes and took in deep breathes. Neil loved Tali back just as much, and they both knew that there were no boundaries to what they feel for each other. They were at the front doors now. Everyone outside of the hospital, and possibly everyone in the galaxy will get to see them if they decide to open the doors. If the people outside needed their dose of catharsis, then he'll gladly give it to them.

He opened both of the doors to see the refugee settlement just outside. They already had a few onlookers. Neil quickly spun towards Tali and gave her possibly his most powerful and affectionate hug he's ever given her.

"I'd kiss you too, but I figured that both of us needed a little break from the hospital right now." He responded so soothingly that Tali began to sob silently. Neil continued to provide comfort by nuzzling himself into the side of her neck.

They did not utter a word to each other for several minutes, and the only sound they heard were their sighs of relief and content. Though soon they heard the cheers and whistles from refugees and soldiers of all races alike, and the sound of sheer triumph bathed both of them in a strangely relaxing way. It was shocking to both of them at first. Everyone has been through so much, especially the people observing them right now. Not only have they survived the reapers, but they also survived another act of extreme evil committed by what was suspected to be the remnants of Cerberus. They were cheering and celebrating both of them when it all appeared to be stained with death, despair, and suffering. Neil didn't believe he truly deserved such praise. In the end, he thought of himself no better than any of them. He thought he was just someone who was doing his duty, and somehow made it out alive more than once. On top of that, he had supposedly committed genocide on the geth and sacrificed his pilot's synthetic girlfriend in order to put an end to the reapers once and for all. That is nothing to be proud of. If he didn't have people that he had become so attached to, then he would have just let himself bleed out after the citadel exploded right then and there. To him that's all he deserved after all of the horrible things he had to do in order for the galaxy to survive. Yet here he was, being comforted by the most beautiful individual his eyes have ever had the privilege to see. The most amazing part of it was that she belonged to him, and he was given the honor to belong to her.

"So I guess this makes it official then?" She spoke softly and quietly into his ears.

He let out a deep and touched his forehead to the top of her faceplate. His eyes were locked onto hers, and he looked into them for a while. Neil remembered looking at extranet pictures of quarians, and he thought that the glowing white eyes were terrifying to him for some odd reason. It reminded him of ghost stories that his father told him when he was growing up. Though now he is gazing into Tali's eyes and all he can think about is how utterly beautiful they really are.

"Yes, it does." His voice was full emotion as he spoke. Tali couldn't help but shiver as she felt his lips touched the top of her hooded cloth.

"Shepard! There you are you damned slippery pyjack!"

"Neil, is that…?"

"Yeah, I'd recognize that jolly voice from anywhere."

He spotted Wrex and a few krogan walking through the crowd like if they were sharks in the sea. He was then able to make out Grunt as being one of the krogan that was following Wrex. His old friend approached him with open arms and a loud bellow that anyone would recognize as a krogran's.

Wrex patted Neil's shoulder with restraint, but he would still probably get a bruise from it anyways.

"Damn, you look like shit Shepard." Wrex said as he looked at Neil's bandaged face.

"My battlemaster is starting to look like a true krogan warrior." Grunt added with a stupid grin on his face.

"You know it." Neil responded with his patented line.

"But can he beat me in a drinking contest?"

The only thing Neil remembered was that embarrassing time at the citadel where he took almost a dozen alcoholic shots, and passed out on the bathroom floor while a turian was pissing in a urinal over him.

"Uhhhhh….."

"That's what I thought." Wrex said with a half grin.

"So, this is like the tenth giant explosion you survived huh?"

"I'd guess so, Wrex."

"Heh heh. You are still way behind my score Shepard."

"Never knew this was a competition."

Wrex gave out a deep chuckle that seemed to have made the ground rumble.

"It was a competition from the very beginning."

"You are strong, battlemaster. But our leader is much stronger."

"Grunt! Come on man you are supposed to be on my side!"

Grunt just gave Neil an amusing shrug and chuckled.

"You know Shepard. After you cured the genophage, and then saved the galaxy you have about two hundred mating requests from our females."

Neil just gave Wrex the most genuinely shocked face he could give him. Tali decided to answer back for him.

"Wha…what?" She responded nervously.

"HA!" Grunt yelled out in the background.

"He's taken, Wrex. Thank you very much." She said rather annoyed.

"Yeah, I know. About damned time you decided to hook up with Shepard. "

"Wait, you knew…?" Neil couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, it was pretty obvious."

"So not only Liara knew but…you knew too?"

"Hell Shepard, the whole galaxy sort of knew once you took Saren down."

The couple simply looked at each other and thought back to their first mission together. Now that they've thought about it, there were signs that they were fantasizing about each other quite a bit.

"I've even made a bet with Garrus on how long it would take you two to realize it. I lost. Thanks for that by the way."

"He did what?" Both of them asked in unison.

All three krogan laughed in response.

"Well, anyways. I heard about what Cerberus did here. I also heard about this Caleb Ronan whelp. Just letting both of you know that we will crush these cowards the same way we crushed the reapers." Wrex turned his head and faced his company that was with him.

"Isn't that right krogans!" He shouted at them.

All of them cheered and bellowed in triumph as a response.

Wrex turned back to face both Neil and Tali.

"Know this. You both now have friends to pull your asses out of whatever fire you will end up stumbling into. If any Cerberus whelp decides to show its face, then it will soon find out that when you are in a fight with a krogan you will begin to lack a one."

"Thank you Wrex. We both greatly appreciate what you are doing for all of us."

Wrex nodded his head and patted Neil's shoulder. As he began to turn away he looked back to him.

"Oh and Shepard? Don't get yourself caught in another firey explosion. That's supposed to be a past time for krogans, not you squishy humans."

Neil simply grinned as he watched Wrex and company stomp away. He always seemed to brighten his mood even when things are turning for the worse. It's a good quality that any leader should have. Of course, there was one person in the galaxy that can do it better than him. He looked down at Tali and reeled her in for another hug before they walked into the refugee camp.

Both of them were paying respects to both the living and the dead. The amount of support and praise for their well being has been over whelming. They have both become celebrities at that moment, though they weren't sure whether to feel excited or nervous about it all.

After a while Neil eventually got pinged with a message.

"_Hey, if you aren't busy showing off to the galaxy that you've finally got a girlfriend with those amazing facial looks of yours, meet me in the skyscraper behind you."_

He raised an eyebrow and glanced behind him. Lo and behold there he was, the great Garrus Vakarian, looking down on him from the second floor of the building with the most ridiculous grin he's ever had.

"_Yyyyyep. I know that look means he's going to propose something stupid. And of course I'm going to go along with it…"_

"Hey Tali? Sorry to tell you this but I'm going to take a quick look around the camp by myself. I promise I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Is it Garrus?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah it is."

"If you find him can you punch him for me?"

"Will do." Neil kissed the top of Tali's visor and smiled at her.

"I promise that there won't be any explosions and monsters involved."

"Knowing Garrus, he's probably going to drag you into something much worse than that. But please stay safe. If you don't and I see you in another hospital bed I am going to get very angry with you."

"Mhm."

He slowly backed away from her and headed towards the building in front of him. As he approached the top of the first flight of stairs he noticed Garrus leaning against a wall, still wearing the same grin he's seen only minutes ago.

"Alright Garrus. What do you want to do this time?"

Garrus simply nodded his head in a random direction and asked Shepard to follow him. They were walking towards the opposite side of the building, where there was no one there except two makos in an empty street.

After Neil looked at the makos for several moments he rolled his eyes as he figured out what Garrus was implying.

"You have to be kidding me Garrus."

"Oh? And did you think I was kidding when we decided to shoot canisters on top of the presidium?"

"Well…yeah."

"There is your answer."

He followed the turian down to the street and towards the makos.

"I've never really driven a mako before Shepard. Though knowing your driving skills you'd probably hit a wall in the first ten seconds if I decided to race you."

"Hey now, I'd let you know that I happen to be one of the best mako drivers in this part of the galaxy."

"Uh huh. You know now that I think about it, you happened to say the same exact thing to me and Tali during our Therum exploration. And guess what happened just moments after you blurted that out?"

Neil attempted to reminisce what happened on that mission. (( watch?v=bqBnYBmcPaE))

"Sorry, I got nothing. Don't know what you are talking about."

Garrus gave out his deep and cool chuckle.

"Of course you don't. Pick a mako. Let's see if you can beat me in a race from here to that tower you humans call the 'Big Ben'."

"You sure you want to do this? I mean, we are stealing someone's mako here."

"Not stealing, borrowing. That is the excuse you gave me whenever you cracked open all the random wall safes and looted all of the credits."

"Touché."

When Neil got himself situated inside the mako he paused for a minute. "If Tali finds out what I'm about to do with Garrus she is going to kill me." He wondered to himself out loud with a frown. But then he had a grin wide enough to reach both sides of his cheeks.

"Still totally worth it."

Garrus's voice over mako's intercom interrupted his train of thought.

"Hey Shepard, are you ready? Just as a reminder, the pedal on the right is the accelerator and the one of the left is the brakes." His voice was covered with sarcasm.

"Shut up before I decide to shove that stick of yours right back up your ass, Vakarian."

"Kinky. Start your damn engine already. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this to come up eventually."

"_Oh, Garrus. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into this time buddy."_

"Of course, Vakarian." He revved up the mako's engine with a giant grin on his face.

"Alright, let's do this Neil. Three…two…one….go!"

Both makos raced off down the empty road. Eventually they had to dodge all of the random rubble that fell onto the streets. Garrus's mako then darted off ahead of Neil's, and his voice went through his intercom.

"Come on Shepard! I knew you are a piss poor driver but you can at least try to make this challenging!"

Neil turned into the street on his right and attempted to cut Garrus off from the other side.

"Oh come on now, that's just cheating."

"You never said there were rules Garrus. Just that one of us had to reach the Big Ben before the other."

Neil chuckled as he heard grunt in annoyance over the intercom. The ground under him began to shake and he looked at his surroundings to see what was going on. A building that was about twenty stories high began to crumble and collapse right in front of him.

"Shepard, look out!"

Both of them slammed on the brakes and the makos went to a screeching halt. Their vehicles shook violently as the rubble made an impact to the ground in front of them and engulfed the makos in smoke.

"Damn it Shepard. I told you not to crash into a wall and look what happened."

"Your driving skills are not so special either. Come on let's back out of here and find another way around."

"Already did."

Neil watched in shock as Garrus backed up a few hundred feet, and vaulted his mako over the collapsed building.

"I'll meet you at the tower, Shepard!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"That sly son of a bitch." He looked around to see if there was any other way to get ahead of Garrus. After a minute of looking at the rubble and the rooftops of all the other buildings he began to laugh out loud to himself.

"_I'd tell Garrus, but I 'd rather listen to his reaction first hand once he sees what I'm about to do."_

He activated the makos boosters in order to get on top of the rubble and made it climb on top of the adjacent building's roof. From there he was able to quite literally jump from one building to the other towards the tower. Below him he noticed Garrus had just made a turn onto the street below him.

"Perfect timing."

He activated the makos accelerators and flew off the top of the ten story building onto the streets below him. His plan worked perfectly, he was now directly in front of Garrus and in the lead.

"Spirits, Shepard you crazy bastard!"

"Come on Garrus. Didn't you just say that my driving skills were piss poor a second ago? At least make it challenging for me." He mocked Garrus as he was getting closer to the finish line. Once he was directly in front of the Big Ben he spun his mako 180 degrees and got out of his vehicle with a bright smile on his face.

Garrus got out of his mako and walked towards Neil while shaking his head disapprovingly. Both of them leaned back against the mako comfortably and watched the sun set over the horizon.

"Damn show off."

Neil laughed heartedly at the remark and Garrus chuckled along soon after. They just sat back and watched everything around them silently. There is a saying about friendship, about how you know you have a true friend when you are able to sit quietly together and still enjoy each other's company. If there was ever an illustration of this saying, it would look something much like what Shepard and Garrus were doing at that very moment.

Garrus then broke the silence with a hint of amusement in his voice. "She's going to kick both of our asses. You realize that right?"

"Yeah, I've sort of figured."

Then Neil's omni-tool was bleeping with an orange glow.

"Talk about timing. Is that her?"

Neil didn't answer his question directly, but his chuckle gave Garrus the implication.

"Yeah sweet heart?"

"Neil where the hell are you?" Tali scolded him over the omni-tool's intercom while Garrus was trying to control his laughter.

"And who is that in the background? Is that Garrus? What did you two bosh'tets do this time?" She continued to scold him through the omni-tool. This time Garrus couldn't control it anymore and started laughing on the ground.

"Oh you know, just paling around is all sweet heart."

"Paling around huh? There are two Alliance makos that have gone missing in the past twenty minutes. Perhaps you two have seen the culprits drive off with them?"

"Uh oh." Garrus blurted out loud without thinking.

"Uhhh…I can't lie to you Tali. It was us, we were just taking a nice little stroll around the city that's all-"

"Oh keelah. Garrus you dumb, idiot turian! I know you can hear me! I was going to talk to you about how you made a bet with Wrex about our relationship but now I think I'm just going to punch you now."

"Ooooooh noooo." Garrus responded back childishly.

"I know he convinced you to race him Neil. He was fantasizing about it while I was visiting him calibrating the normandy's guns."

Neil looked at Garrus with an amused smile on his face as he spoke. "Oh did he now? Alright Tali, yeah we raced. But come on now, we've used to do things like this all the time and you didn't really care much. Why are you all upset?"

"Because…uh, well. I've sort of um…"

"Come on, spit it out."

"I wanted to tag along with you when it happened."

He gave Garrus a confused look, and the turian just shrugged back.

"Seriously? Tali, I thought you told me that my driving was terrible as well."

"Well yeah, it is. Sorry Neil. But it was always so much fun!" She responded with so much enthusiasm and excitement that it took both of them back.

"And next time you two decide to race, find me a mako too. I'm a better driver than both of you combined."Both Neil and Garrus exchanged confused glances at each other.

"If you are, why didn't you volunteer to drive Miss vas Normandy?"

"Oh, you know. Seeing you try to maneuver such a simple vehicle always amused me. It also made things a lot more interesting!"

"Tali, you are absolutely amazing."

"I try. Get back to the camp soon, I'm already starting to miss you."

"I'll be there in a bit Tali. I'll see you soon." Neil exclaimed to her warmly before ending the call. When he turned to look at Garrus he was still chuckling with his body leaning against the mako.

"Alright you damned turian bozo, let's give these makos back to the Alliance before we get ourselves into trouble, again."


	10. Chapter 9: Heritage

**An author note to the readers:**

_Alright! So this was possibly one of the hardest chapters I've ever written. I tried to fix as many errors as I can (with a good deal of help from other people), so I hope the narrative flows a little bit better in this chapter. _

_Also, there is a particular song that strongly influenced me while I was writing this chapter. It has no lyrics, but music can sometimes speak more words than a singer. If you want to enhance the mood and atmosphere of this chapter, I strongly suggest that you listen to this song called "__**Heritage**__" by a band named "__**Opeth**__" on youtube. In fact, I think I'm kind of considering it to be the theme for "Mr. De Luca". A new character that you will be introduced in this chapter. At least in my head. Everything is based on your perspective (pun intended)._

_So with that all said, I give you this monster of a chapter. Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 9- Heritage

_"You sure we got the right guys?"_

The booming voice blares through his ears as if it were the sound of a reaper horn. A trickle of sweat and blood from his brow fell into his eyes, and it gave the most excruciating string he's felt in a very long time. He tried to get up but he soon realized the extent of the situation he was currently in. There were four armed gunmen. Two of them were currently wielding submachine guns while the other two held crowbars, that appeared to have been used against something recently. Both him and Garrus had their hands handcuffed behind their backs, and were strapped to the chairs they are sitting on. Neil's vision was about to fade to black until he felt the stinging chill of ice cold water thrown onto his face. His gasp echoed throughout whatever parking structure they were currently held in.

One of the gunmen walked over to him with a slimy smile and ripped off one of his face bandages. His pained yelp amused their attackers, whoever they were. "Well would you look at that. We got beauty and the beast here waking up." The man that was closest started making gestures to Neil and Garrus. Their vicious laughs rang throughout the building, which he assumed was abandoned.

He felt like he is in vertigo as his vision began to fade in and out. A huge rush of adrenaline coursed through him, almost like when he was racing Garrus in that Mako. Though what happened between the end of that race and where they are now seemed like a complete daze to him. Neil glanced at Garrus and his pupils widened. The look that was painted all over his face seemed eerily similar to when Shepard had just rescued him from Omega. One side of his face was bloodied, and his glare was glued onto the assailants. Garrus looked like a hawk ready to swoop down on its prey. Their assailants however, seemed as though they didn't have any boundaries.

"Damn. So you're telling me that this bloke right here is _the_ Archangel? I thought the big three took this asshole down."

"They were about to, but fucking Romeo over here pulled his ass out of the fire."

Neil could tell that these people were from the United North American States. They were probably from the east coast of the continent.

"Heh. They don't look that scary up close. More like a bunch of B-grade scumbags pretending to be desperados."

"And they say that these two dumbasses were responsible for saving the galaxy _three _times? Just because they shot up a few geth here and few reapers there? Well newsflash buddy, so where about a billion other fucking people in this damned galaxy. How come they don't get a spot in the limelight huh?"

"Shut. The hell. Up." Garrus's deep growl took everyone back for a moment, including Shepard. His voice sounded less turian and more like a rage induced beast.

"Or what, turian?" One of the ragged clothed humans said mockingly.

Garrus was silent for several moments while he slowly raised his head toward the human. It felt surreal to watch him like that. The deathly gaze that he's presented to them reminded him a lot of the close encounter with Saren on Virmire.

"It's unfortunate that you all decided not to wear masks or helmets today." The way Garrus spoke with cool and calm ease initiated a shiver up Neil's spine. The gunmen looked at each other curiously before Garrus interrupted their train of thought.

"I remember faces very well. I also don't tend to forget and forgive easily as well. It's something I developed over the years."

"And this matters how?" One of the gunmen said clumsily.

Garrus responded with a deep chuckle the resonated throughout whatever structure they were held captive in.

"You all made two very big mistakes. For one, you attacked me and my close friend here." He paused to clear his throat and then continued. "That is…something I won't easily forgive."

The ragged humans were not intimidated by this. Instead they started chuckling and exchanging amused grins to each other.

"Your second mistake." He continued. "May be the biggest and most fatal of the two. You have all provided me your physical features _and_ your voices. That is something I won't easily forget. So once I am set free from this poorly designed trap and you all start to run, and you _will _run. I will hunt all of you down, one by one. Will I end up killing you? Oh, well that depends. Maybe if you get me in a good mood, I'll decide to break your legs instead." Their assailants wanted Archangel, and it seemed that Garrus was taking the pleasure to provide.

One of the humans grew a stupid grin on his face and decided to clap.

"Man, look at this guy. Quite a movie star you turned out to be huh?" His henchman decided to laugh along with him.

"He's all talk and no action. He ain't scary. Truth is, he's nothing. Isn't that right turian?" The human dipped his in front of Garrus's head, and was tapping his submachine gun on top of his fringe in a mocking fashion.

"Hey, did you hear that Archangel? Let me say it again to get it through that thick ugly skull of yours. You are nothing but garbage without that shiny rifle of yours-"

He was cut off after Garrus delivered a strong head-butt to the assailant's nose. The man fell back onto the ground and clutched his broken nose. A river blood began to flow freely over his palm and made a small pool on the ground.

" You motherfucking spic!" One of his accomplices pulled out his submachine gun and pointed it to Garrus's head. Just when it seemed like he was about to execute him there was another voice coming from a different man that echoed throughout the parking structure.

"Enough!"

All four gunmen stopped what they were doing and glanced behind them. There stood a much older looking man. His facial features looked as worn out as the leather coat he was currently wearing.

"You two. You two killed my boy."

* * *

_"I'll race you back to the camp, Shepard."_

Neil glanced back at him and rolled his eyes.

"I think you got me in enough trouble as is, Vakarian. Also I'd rather not give Tali one too many heart attacks today."

"Me? So I got you in trouble now huh? All you could of said was "no"."

"Mako drag racing through the empty streets of London with a close friend? How could anyone pass up that opportunity?"

"Didn't you tell me at one point that my ego was the size of the Normandy? Hell Neil, your ego is the size of the damned black hole in the middle of the galaxy. It was too easy."

"Still worth it though. Hey, you said you've never really had experience driving a Mako. How did you pull off that stunt back there?"

"Well, Neil. I was reading and watching instruction maunals in case you really screwed up, so then I'd get to drive you and Tali back safely. Always had your back from the beginning and whatnot."

"Thank you for the kind sentiment, Garrus." Neil responded sarcastically.

"Your welcome." Garrus responded with the same mocking tone.

"Alright, let's get you back to Tali before she starts sending us angry calls again." He couldn't help but chuckle at the end of that statement.

As Neil got into the Mako and watched Garrus speed off in front of him. Suddenly his omni-tool got another resounding ping.

"Has she missed me that much? We haven't been gone for more than thirty minutes now."

When he looked down at his omni-tool he noticed the sender was anonymous, and it was untraceable.

"_Quite an impressive show you put out there today Shepard. The galaxy's biggest hero trying to shed light unto the darkness. Then he races off into the sunset with his friend through London. I couldn't help but applaud you myself."_

"What?" This message took him off guard. His eyes furrowed as he read the message several times over.

"Shepard, what's going on back there? Thought you were right behind me."

"I got a message from a secret admirer."

"Say what now?"

"Someone is watching us Garrus. Keep your eyes sharp."

"Alright, I'll wait here for you. Hurry up- wait a minute." His voice suddenly became static and then there was silence.

"Garrus? What happened?" Neil felt his muscles tense. Something was definitely wrong here. He cursed himself for not bringing his sidearm with him.

"You better come over here fast. I just stumbled upon two people in ragged clothes asking me for help. Looks like another small pocket of survivors."

Neil activated the Mako's engine and went full speed towards where Garrus went. "I'm on my way. Garrus, keep an eye out for anyone that might be stalking us."

"And who might that be exactly?"

"I can only guess." Neil responded calm but tensely.

As he approached Garrus's Mako his omni-tool was pinged with another message.

"_But being called a "hero" or a "villain" is subjective, isn't it?"_

He ignored the message and approached Garrus and the two other humans. Those two looked genuinely scared and desperate.

"My goodness, bless both of you. We were running out of food and medical supplies. There was no way we could have survived out here."

"It's alright sir. The camp isn't that far away from here. We'll call in an evac squad for you and your people." Garrus's smooth talk seemed to do the trick, as the men seemed to have calmed down.

"Thank you so much kind sir. You and your friend just saved a lot of people today. There are about twenty more of us holed up in that store over there." The ragged clothed man pointed at a building that appeared to have taken heavy damage during the invasion.

"Please, we'd greatly appreciate it if you helped some of us out before you call in the evac."

Garrus glanced back at Neil and shrugged.

"Might as well, I guess?"

Neil frowned back at him. Something about this didn't feel right.

"Garrus, you have a pistol with you just in case?"

He tried checking his sides for anything but then slowly shook his head.

"Damn it, must of left mine back at the camp."

"Alright, let's see what these people want and then we call in the evac as soon as possible. We don't need to be out here longer than necessary."

As the group neared the building one of the men broke the silence.

"Hey, just curious. You two happen to be Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian?"

Neil and Garrus exchanged concerned glances with each other. His omni-tool was then pinged with another message.

"_I'd run if I were you."_

"Garrus."

The ragged men in front of them quickly spun around with their submachine guns aimed at them. The last thing he remembered until everything went black were their laughter and Garrus plunging to the floor after getting hit with a crowbar.

* * *

_"You killed my son."_

"Don't worry Mr. De Luca, we got them pretty good for ya."

"Shut up." The old man with the cane said sharply as he slowly wobbled closer towards Neil and Garrus. He didn't look enraged or grieved. Instead he looked passive, expressing absolutely no emotion.

"You two killed my boy. My only son."

"Sir we never murder people in cold blood."

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN, TURIAN!" Mr. De Luca shouted at him with a deep and raspy type growl. Even Garrus was slightly taken off guard by the outburst.

The old man stared at the ground in front of him with a frown, giving no one in the vicinity eye contact while he spoke.

"He was all I had left." De Luca was as still as a statue for several minutes before continuing.

"Heroes are not supposed to…shoot someone who was running away twice in the back, Archangel."

"How do you know-" De Luca cut him off.

"Why shouldn't I know about the ones responsible for my son's death? The life I helped build? MY OWN BLOOD?" His body was practically shaking with anger and he was beginning to become more frantic by the minute.

"And you!" He did a quick jab at Neil's stomach with his cane. He let out a gasp as De Luca pulled his hair back.

"The "hero of the citadel", pulled his ass out of the pit of hell he was being sent to. You not only let him free, but you two happen to be best buds huh? My boy's blood is on your hands too!"

"I've only shot at people who attacked me sir." Garrus tried to talk reason to the man, but he didn't take any of it.

"He did it out of desperation you fucking digusting spic! You did something stupid and you had a high bounty on your head. His wife was dying, and he didn't have any money to pay for the expenses. I never knew where he was until it was too late."

De Luca started sniffling and almost crumbling over. One of his henchman tried to help him up but he was knocked back. "Get off me damn it!"

He glared back at Neil and Garrus, and this time Neil spoke back in a raspy voice.

"I am truly sorry for your loss sir. But like Garrus said, we only kill people who are trying to kill us or harm other people."

"Bullshit. My son at the end didn't want to shoot at any of you. They told me that he dropped his gun on that bridge and he ran. This son of a bitch that you call a friend shot him twice in the back with no remorse."

"Sir there was about a thousand pissed off mercenaries that all had their sights on me. It's really hard to tell which ones were harmless when it seemed like everyone wanted my head on a stake. Look mister, I am sorry that your son got caught in the cross-fires. But he could have done several other safer jobs than a gun-for-hire in order to support his wife. He knew what he was getting himself into. "

After Garrus's retort, De Luca went completely hysterical and swung his cane at Garrus's skull several times.

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Each time he yelled he would swing his cane at Garrus, not caring where it struck. Neil winced as he witnessed his best friend get beaten to a pulp from an old, grieve stricken man that had vengeance on his mind. After his last and powerful swing his cane snapped in half, and Garrus let out a pained yell. Neil didn't get hit by the cane, but he still felt as much pain in his soul as Garrus felt pain on his body.

"Unstrap them." De Luca's armed thugs looked at him in confusion.

"I SAID DO IT!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

Once the men scrambled around to release the handcuffs and the straps, both Neil and Garrus plummeted to the floor head first. As they were getting up De Luca pushed both pieces of his broken cane in between them and forced the two to wield them as weapons.

"YOU BOTH KILLED MY SON, FIGHT EACH OTHER UNTIL ONE OF YOU DIES!"

De Luca finally started to crumble over in his tears, and the leader of the armed thugs supported him.

"You three trap them in a triangle. None of them escapes, you got that?" All three of the thugs followed his orders obediently, formed a triangle around Garrus and Shepard with their guns and crowbars drawn.

"Come on boss, he said the shuttle will be here in a few." De Luca didn't respond since he was two busy succumbing to his grief. Shepard watched the man limp off the scene and then glanced back at Garrus. Both of them looked at each other sorrowfully. After all the hell they've been through, and after thinking that they have lives to look forward to, they were being forced to submit and bludgeon each other until one of them kicks the bucket.

Garrus dropped his weapon and gazed at Neil.

"I can't do that to her. I'm sorry." He's never heard Garrus's voice break under his emotions before, but it felt absolutely devastating to listen to.

"Build a house for her, and build the life that you've been fighting for. After that, I'll be waiting for both of you at the bar."

"Yeah, listen to the turian scum bag. Kill him Shepard!" One of the gunmen began cheering.

Neil stared back at Garrus for several moments. He's already sacrificed to much, just to be alive. He could barely stand to look at himself in the mirror since he knew that he sacrificed the geth and his pilot's _lover, _and then have the audacity to pursue his selfish, love-stricken desires. If he were to murder Garrus now, he would never live with himself. In the end, everyone would lose. He sunk his head down and shook his head.

"No."

"If you don't stab him then we'll fill ya both with thermals!"

"Go to hell."

"What the fuck did ya say to me!" The one that was yelling forced Neil to his knees and put his weapon on the back of his head. He was about to execute him until several shots rang out in the room.

Tali, Vega, and Ashley stood at the top of the adjacent staircase, all aiming their sights at the thugs.

"Drop your weapons and take a step away from them, and we won't shoot!" He was quite surprised that Ashley had come along. Now that she was a council spectre, she was free to do whatever she wants. Not that he thought that she wouldn't save him if she had the chance, but rather that he thought that she would be on the citadel trying to coordinate rescue missions.

"You drop the gun bitch! And these guys won't be food for the street rats!"

"I suggest you listen to the lady asshole. You are now pointing guns at two council spectres, and the Alliance is getting this place surrounded. Drop your weapons before this gets nasty." Vega responded back.

"Shepard is a fucking dead man, you hear that? He's dead and we need the money!" When the man was about to put his weapon back to Neil's skull and execute him, Tali's shotgun rang out and took out his legs. His friends looked at him in horror as he was screaming under excruciating pain. After exchanging silent glances with each other they dropped their weapons and surrendered.

Vega and Ashley quickly moved in to apprehend them. Soon the room was flooded with Alliance marines and they took both of them away with their assault rifles drawn on them. Tali on the other hand stood over the man she just shot and aimed her shotgun at him.

"Tell me who hired you."

"Please, please don't shoot! Just some guy named De Luca. Put a 50k credit ransom on each of their heads I swear!"

"We're only worth that much to you?" Garrus scoffed and shook his head.

Tali ignored Garrus and continued her interrogation. "Why did he put a ransom on their heads?"

"Because some guy tipped him off about how his son died, and pinned it on Archangel and Shepard. Said he had evidence and that he can help-AAAGH!" The man started to scream when Tali applied pressure on his bullet wounds with her foot.

"Who is this person?"

"If I had to guess Tali, it's Caleb." Neil responded in a raspy voice.

"Was the man that tipped De Luca off Caleb Ronan?" Ashley decided to join in on the interrogation.

"I don't know man! Just some guy who called himself a realist, he didn't give out his name please I swear!"

They all exchanged glances with each other and nodded in acknowledgement. Vega then got himself involved in the interrogation.

"Sounds like Caleb. Where is this "De Luca" pendejo now? Spit it out asshole!"

"He's getting himself on a shuttle just behind the building here. I'm not sure where he's going man, he said he'll pay us all after the job is done!"

Ashley patted Tali's shoulder in attempt to stop her from inflicting more pain.

"Come on, let's go. He's not worth it." She said to her sympathetically.

Tali ignored Ashley and stomped the man's stomach. While he was gasping she dipped her helmet lower to the ground. Her glowing eyes were narrowed as she spoke in a volatile and threatening tone.

"If you even _dare _go near Garrus and my Shepard after this, I won't hesitate to put every single thermal round from my shotgun into your body. Do you understand?"

"Yes, please! I won't even think about messing around with you crazy bastards I swear!"

"Good."

She knocked out the man with a curb stomp and helped Neil get up on his feet.

"Come on, we need to go after that man before he gets away."

"Don't need to tell me twice, love."

When they arrived at Mr. De Luca's shuttle it seemed like they were to late. His shuttle was already in the air and ready to speed away. However Liara sprang into action and used her powerful biotics to slam the ship back onto the ground, and successfully disabling it. Soon the scene was crawling with armed soldiers subduing both De Luca and the lone henchman that was supporting him. One of the soldiers dragged out the shuttle pilot and discovered that he was wearing a Cerberus insignia.

"Anyone else here that beeping noise?" Vega asked.

"I'll go take a look." Ashley began to move in to investigate, but Liara lightly tapped on her shoulder.

"I'll come with you. Just in case."

"I appreciate the back up."

As the two moved in to investigate the Cerberus shuttle, Neil was pinged with another message.

"Neil, who's sending you messages?" Tali asked curiously as she huddled close to him to read his omni-tool.

"_In honor of your romantic relationship, I shall spark a fire to symbolize the burning love you have for each other!"_

Neil read the message twice out loud, and then his pupils widened when he finally understood the implication.

"Hey skipper, you there? We found some small handheld device. It's blinking red. Orders-"

"Ashley, get Liara out of there right now! That is a bomb that you are holding!" He frantically yelled over the comms and then at everyone else within the vicinity.

"Take cover! There is a bomb in the shuttle!" The device was now beeping rapidly, and the Alliance squad was scrambling around trying to get as far away from the shuttle as possible. Though to his dismay, he didn't see Ashley or Liara among them.

"Get down!" Vega yelled out to everyone. Acting out of pure instinct, Neil tackles Tali to the ground and uses his body as a human shield for her. An intense heat wave was dispersed from the explosion that ate away at parts of his clothing. It eerily reminded him of the explosion on the crucible. The only difference was that if he died here, at least he would fulfill his promise of being with her until the very end.

To him, once the shuttle exploded, time seemed to gradually slow to a halt. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours. To him it lasted an eternity, and all he could do is clutch onto her as tight as he can muster while staring into those wonderful luminous eyes. He couldn't help but hold on as he feels an external force try to pry him away from her.

"Shepard!" He hears a voice call out for him, but he is too dazed to know who or what is calling out to him. These hectic events were happening so fast that he just can't keep up with his life anymore.

Once he was up on his feet, his vision began fading to black until he was violently shook back into reality. When he had the strength to open his eyes again he was looking into the eyes of a turian. He had his talons gripped onto his shoulders and tried desperately to get Neil conscious again.

"Come on Shepard now isn't the time to go daydreaming. Wake up!" Garrus shook Neil again, and he was about to fall limp onto the ground. Garrus helped Neil get back on his feet and used an arm to wrap around his shoulder as support. His legs felt incredibly weak and he felt as if he was going to buckle over. To his surprise and relief, it was Tali that kept him from falling this time.

"I'm with you, Neil." She spoke softly.

"Where… is Liara and Ashley?" His voice was completely gone, and a horrible croaking noise replaced it.

"Holy shit." Vega pointed towards the epicenter of the explosion with an bewildered expression. Liara held a protective biotic shield that engulfed her and Ashley. After a few moments her shield dispersed and she fell to her knees, exhausting her powers. "Well, I guess it was right for me to not volunteer to back her up afterall, huh?"

Neil let out a deep sigh of relief, but then he perked his head up.

"Where is De Luca?"

"Our boys caught the bastard commander. Passed out after the explosion." Vega gestured his weapon towards the soldiers carrying the old man into their shuttle.

"Good, we need him alive so can get more intel on Caleb's whereabouts. Or possibly what Cerberus is planning." Neil began coughing in pain as he inhaled smoke from the burning Cerberus shuttle.

"Alright Shepard, take it easy." Garrus gestured Tali to help Shepard move away from the scene, and soon Ashley and Liara caught up with them.

"Another day, another explosion. Huh loco?"

"Yeah. Could become the galaxy's best action movie star at this rate." Ashley decided to jump aboard the joke bandwagon, and Neil couldn't help but grin as people were trying to make light of the situation. Caleb tried to bring him down to his level today, but it didn't work. To him that's all that matters.

"So I'm guessing you won't let us do Mako races anytime soon then, Tali?"

"You are a moronic bosh'tet and we are going to have a talk about this once Neil gets some rest."

Garrus exhaled loudly and shook his head.

"Looking forward to it."

* * *

_I'd just like to give a shout out to the people the beta-read this chapter. You know who you are. ;)_


	11. Chapter 10: Because of You

Chapter 10- Because of you

_"There is no rest for the wicked."_

Winter was approaching, and he could feel it. He was fortunate to find shelter and warmth in an empty hospital room, though his body still shivered under life's cold touch. There was a daunting feeling that some unknown force cast a curse upon him, that he would always rest with an injured shell, and wake up sweating from soul draining nightmares. Maybe it was the punishment he deserved for making monstrous decisions that killed so many. Decisions that took away loved ones and tore families apart. He knew that he had to make those choices in order to protect the galaxy, and the ones he cared about. To him however, it was definitely not something to be proud of or gloat about.

There were people in the galaxy who enjoyed killing, who claimed that it was a sport. He used to be among that crowd, until he began to feel the true impact killing a person. Each life he took had been gnawing ferociously at his consciousness, and he didn't even realize it until then. The incident with Mr. De Luca seemed to be the final push into the abyss that he simply could not climb back out of.

"Neil?"

Fortunately for him, there existed an angel that always seemed to pull him back from the jaws of the abyss.

"Neil, it's been a long day for you. How come you're not resting?"

His shirt was drenched in his own sweat and blood. He didn't search for a change of clothes or something to protect himself from the cold. It didn't even occur to him that all he did for the past several hours was sit on his bed and succumb to his own pitiful thoughts. He felt like he was waiting, though he wasn't sure what exactly he was waiting for. Perhaps he was waiting for the answers to all of his problems. Perhaps he was waiting for her.

"I think we both know the answer to that, Tali." Neil responded grimly.

A warm cloth was wrapped around his body. Moments later he felt her soft and comforting touch snake around his waist and her clothed faceplate rest along his shoulders.

"You need to stop doing this to yourself." The way her voice cracked made him wince, but he regained his composure.

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Taking responsibility for everything. Blaming yourself for everything."

"I take responsibility for my own actions, Tali. And my actions, even when they were with good intentions, have destroyed so many lives."

"Neil, you saved the galaxy not just once, but several times. You've allowed trillions of people to wake up tomorrow without fearing that their lives and homes will be wiped out forever."

"That's true. Though what about the people I've sacrificed 'for the good of the galaxy'? That's not something to be proud of."

"Neil…"

"I've killed nearly half a million people 'for the good of the galaxy.' I went to the citadel to play politics at the expense of billions of lives 'for the good of the galaxy.' I've wiped out the geth and EDI, my friend's lover, 'for the good of the galaxy.' Please, tell me how I can wake up every morning and feel happy. Tell me how I can look at myself in the mirror and say 'I am a good man.' "

"But you are a good man."

"How many sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and friends did I end up killing? How many more De Lucas are out there Tali?"

Tali put one of her digits over his lips in order to silence him for a moment.

"You are an excellent man, more than excellent to me. You are a hero and an inspiration to so many people. That does not mean that you are responsible for everything that happens in the galaxy. In the end you are just one person, and it is overwhelming to blame yourself for every bad thing that happens. You were put in tough positions where you had to make hard decisions."

She craned herself up to touch her faceplate along his forehead, her eyes piercing through his. "Look where we are now Neil. The galaxy is free of the reapers, people are rebuilding their lives, and most of the galaxy survived. You are the one that helped make this happen."

Her voice started to crack again, making it sound shaky.

"And on top of all that…you came back to me. You saved me from a life full of suffering for a _third_ time."

She pulled him into a tight hug and dug her head into his shoulders.

"If that isn't something to be proud of, I don't know what is."

He took in a deep breath and exhaled as he gently stroked her back.

"People demand answers to what happened, and they expect me to give it to them. As the 'shining idol' of the galaxy, I have to be responsible for the consequences that come out of all of my decisions. There is only so much one man can take."

"Then don't take all of the responsibility!" She jabbed a finger into his chest as she raised her voice.

"You've done more than enough for everyone! You don't owe these people anymore than what you've already given them!"

Neil couldn't muster the will to respond to the outburst. His pain was written all over his face. He wore a shell of a young and energetic man, but all he saw in the mirror was a frail and broken man waiting hopelessly for some type of salvation.

Neil began to shiver as Tali traced some of his facial wounds that he'd gained over the years. She didn't need to remove her mask in order for him to make out her expressions. Her bright and illuminating eyes were what showed it. At that moment he felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself, because he knew that she was sharing the same internal pain that he bottled up inside of himself. He felt absolutely disgusted with himself for allowing her to suffer over him.

Tali spoke softly as she wrapped both of her arms around his neck.

"Please…stop punishing yourself like this." Her body began to tremble as her voice finally cracked.

"You don't need to do this to yourself. You don't deserve any of it. Please stop hurting yourself. If not for yourself or anyone else, do it for me! It hurts me so much to see you torture yourself!" Having her plead and beg felt like a thorn was pierced right through his heart. It was at this point where he realized the damage he'd done to himself. There was blood letting out of his soul, and he decided not to do anything about it. Inflicting mental pain on himself had inflicted mental pain on the ones he cared about, and it showed. It was horrible that he was the cause of their suffering, but after the Crucible he was so conflicted on how he should view himself. Caleb's message struck a chord with him, because it rang true. Holding the title of a hero or villain was truly subjective to the individual. People would either cheer or they would hold contempt for him. The same could be said of any person living in the galaxy. When that realization dawned on him, he felt some sort of peace and closure wash over him. The fact that Caleb's fear tactic would backfire made him grin for a slight moment. It may have done more help than harm after all.

When he snapped himself back into the present, he saw Tali sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. She was always there whenever he suffered, and now he needed to return the favor. He needed to remind her how much he truly cared for her, not just with words but actions. A wave of powerful emotions rushed through his body. These emotions were so strong and overwhelming that he just wanted yell into the night sky and be heard by the stars.

The stench that came from his shirt made him grimace. He didn't need it, he already had the warmth and comfort he needed in this room right now. Neil's hands acted accordingly on its own as he ripped the shirt off of his body and violently threw it across the room.

"N-neil?" Tali seemed to be startled by the sudden outburst. She thought that maybe it was something she said that angered him. When she stared back into Neil's eyes, she saw so many emotions painted across his face. It was rather hard for her to tell what exactly he was feeling. That was until he sprung forward and pulled her into a powerful hug. She yelped in surprise, though when she looked back into Neil's eyes she saw so much affection that it made her blush.

He brought his hands to the faceplate locks and paused for a moment to look back into her eyes, as if he was waiting for her permission. She slowly nodded her head in acknowledgement and he released the locks to the barrier that was her helmet. They shared several moments of silence as Neil glued his eyes upon her face. It seemed like she became more and more gorgeous every time she revealed her face to him. To him, her face was glowing as if she really was an angel, and he marveled at the sight. His eyes remained locked onto hers as he activated his omni-tool to lock the doors and close the blinds. He gently pulled down her hood to reveal her gleaming hair. Simply looking at her like this made a lump form in his throat.

Then with one fell swoop he quickly brought her close to him and interlocked his lips with hers. He gave her dozens of deep and emotional kisses that it seemed like it went on forever. Neil already noticed that she was breathing fast. Though once he uttered the words "I love you", she was filled with so much overwhelming emotion that her body quivered. Tali's heart began to flutter as he gently stroked her hair back and planted a kiss on her forehead. She placed both of her palms on his chest and pushed him back onto the bed. She crawled on top of him and pressed her lips hard down upon his. Neil wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down. He used his own strength to roll over in order have himself on top of her. His lips intertwined with Tali's and began to kiss her thoroughly. After several intimate moments he broke off from his barrage of kisses to rest his forehead on top of hers. They both stared at each other affectionately.

"You have no idea how much I needed that. How much I needed you."

"The feeling is mutual." She pecked his neck several times as he nuzzled hers.

"I should have done this for you a long time ago, Neil. People told me that you had nightmares and trouble sleeping. I thought it was somewhat normal since you obviously had a lot on your mind at the time. You know, with the whole trying to save the galaxy from the reapers thing that you were doing. I never knew how damaging they were to your own health. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Tali."

She was about to respond until Neil's kiss cut her off.

"I want you to know, that everything I've done. Every decision I had to make. Every floor of hell that I was forced to wonder in. I had you in my mind. I did this, because of you."

"You…did?"

Neil cradled her head gently and kissed her again.

"Of course it was. Stick around with me for a while and you'll see what I'd do just for you."

A large and heartwarming smile grew on her face as she responded.

"You don't have to ask me to stick around with you Neil. I'll always be with you, wherever you go."

* * *

It was such a relief to wake up without sweating and shivering for once. If he had a nightmare, he didn't remember any of it. Tali's presence helped him a tremendous amount. She woke up before he did, and she was apparently nuzzling his chest in order to wake him up.

"Tali?" He did get a good night rest, but he still felt incredibly exhausted

Tali cupped his chin and tilted her head curiously as she examined Neil's face.

"You have anymore nightmares last night?"

"No. At least, I don't think so."

"Then why are you still exhausted?"

Neil chuckled under his breath as he spoke.

"Very observant, aren't you?"

"Just because Quarians have to hide behind a mask for the rest of their lives doesn't mean that we don't know how to read emotions. Quarians and Humans are able to share similar facial expressions you know."

"Oh is that so?" He teased at her.

"Yes. Do I have to show you a demonstration in order to remind you?"

Neil suddenly lunged at Tali and pulled her into a tight embrace as he chuckled more. Tali let out a yelp in surprise but quickly leaned into him comfortably.

"I don't think I will ever stop getting tired of you doing that, Neil."

"And I don't think I will ever stop getting tired of you being absolutely adorable, which is usually all the damn time."

Neil felt like an enormous wave of light and peace was washing over him as he saw Tali give him a smile so large that it practically went from ear to ear. Their intimate moment was stopped abruptly as Neil's omni-tool began bleeping.

"Please tell me it isn't Caleb."

"No. For once Tali, I believe we can have at least one day without explosions all over the damn place."

"Then what is it?"

Neil frowned as he read the message several times.

"It's about my number one fan, Mister De Luca."

"What happened to him?"

"He's regained consciousness. He is under 'custody and care' in tent number twenty one, ready for interrogation."

Tali frowned as she stared at his omni-tool.

"I'm coming with you, but I'm sorry."

Neil raised an eyebrow worryingly.

"I never said you can't come. And what are you sorry for?"

"I can't allow myself to go inside the tent with you."

"And why is that?"

Tali clutched Neil's hand with as much strength as she could muster as she gazed intently into his eyes.

"Because ancestors help me if I ever see that man again, I don't think I will ever let go of his throat."


	12. Chapter 11: In the Hoirzon

Chapter 11- In the Horizon

_"Neil you are going to get sick."_

The storm clouds had finally rolled into the London ruins. Survivors of what was now called "The Reapergeddon" were scrambling about to get inside their makeshift tents in order to protect them from the ice cold touch of Mother Nature. The rain and snow had always mystified him since he was a child, probably because Mindoir barely did much of both. Sure he came across planets like Noveria and the planet that the Leviathans were hiding on, but now he was in a damaged hospital building with a less than adequate air conditioning system which made it unbearably cold. The amount of humidity that the rain was producing was not helping either. It was really his fault for being so cold, however. Neil insisted that he could just wear a loose plain white shirt and begin his interrogation of Mister De Luca.

"Tali, I'll be fine I swear. De Luca's tent is less than a block away from here."

But she didn't want any of it.

"No, you will not be _fine. _I don't care how many near-death situations you've lived through. You are _not_ invincible and you _will_ catch a cold in this weather. Even a child would know that. And don't you dare bring up your immune system with me."

It was slightly unnerving to notice how Tali have become more and more assertive to him. Though, he knew that it was because she cared about his physical and emotional health with a burning passion. He felt his heart race just thinking about it. The notion that there was someone that loves him more than practically anything else in the galaxy was possibly his biggest victory yet, and it was something he intends to cherish for the rest of his life. So with that in mind, he couldn't help but let out a sigh and smile back at her.

"Alright Tali, you win. I'll put on the jacket just for you."

"Please Neil, do it for yourself for once." This struck a chord within himself. Not just because of Tali's pleading voice that always seems to melt his heart, but it was her words. There is an internal war that waged inside his head, whether he was truly self-less like everyone proclaims he is, or the last big decisions he chose made him one of the most selfish individuals that roamed through space. He was so focused on trying to justify his choices that he neglected his own well-being, and that forced the ones who loved him to be his caregivers. Perhaps that is a selfish act of itself.

Neil was jolted back into the present when Tali gripped onto his shoulder with one of her hands. He peered into Tali's faceplate to see her eyes becoming narrow and tense.

"I've been with you long enough to guess what you're thinking, and it's not true. I don't care how many times I have to remind you how much of an amazing person you are, as long I am able to get whatever part of your mind to stop judging you harshly."

She let go of her grip to grab a black makeshift hoodie that was on the hospital bed, and hastily put it on Neil. After she was done, she lunged at him with her arms wrapping tightly around his waist. Neil cradled her hooded head with one hand and stroked her cloth with the other.

"Neil…please."

He slowly pressed his lips on top of her hood. "I'll be fine; you can take a break from worrying about me." He said reassuringly.

"I will never stop worrying about you."

His arms pulled her close into a tight hug and held a brief moment of silence.

"Tali, I _will_ be fine." He whispered sternly into her vox before patting her shoulder sympathetically.

Tali didn't say anything as he spun around and went outside. She simply watched him walk farther away from him until he was gone from her view. Her body was completely frozen, and she didn't even realize that she was standing deathly still in front the hospital entrance for several minutes.

* * *

It was now pouring harder than it was before. Puddles of water mixed in with dirt, rubble, and ash were formed throughout the encampment. Just outside of the hospital grounds there was a street that was completely flooded with several inches of water. While he roamed the camp he realized there was almost no one outside, which made sense given the current circumstance. Though, as he looked around he saw someone trying to get his attention. The man looked suspiciously like Joker wearing a grey hoody, watching the rainstorm grimly. Neil immediately sunk his head down to look at the ground, the unforgiving emotions of guilt and shame drenched his essense as much as the rain drenched his body

"Commander?"

His gaze was locked upon the man, and sure enough it was Joker staring back at him with a mixture of sorrow and relief.

"The one and only, heh." His attempt at making light of the situation failed, as they usually did. Seeing Joker in a state of grief was something completely new to him, and it felt horrible to know that he was the one that put him in this position. Neil needed to tell Joker what happened, the guilt that was building inside him felt like it was at its maximum capacity and he needed to release it somehow.

"It's good to see you up and about again, commander."

"There is no need for the formalities anymore Joker. Just call me Neil, please. And it's good to see you again too."

"Sure thing." The moment of silence that soon followed was rather unnerving and awkward.

"So um, this is like the hundredth super massive explosion you were able to walk away from right?"

Neil let out a genuine chuckle. It was nice to see Joker still keeping his groove in spite of everything that happened to him.

"Yeah it is. I can probably beat a galactic record at this rate."

"Just _a_ galactic record? I'd be surprised if you didn't beat like seven of them in the past five years Comman-Neil. "

Shepard simply nodded, though his expression soon soured at those thoughts lingering in the back of his head.

"Joker, I…I have something that I need to get off my chest. It's been bothering me ever since I recovered a week ago."

Joker's current state of mood soon soured as well. He could only guess what he is going to bring up.

"Shoot away."

Neil knew that there was no turning back. He was going to tell Joker what happened at the crucible for better or worse.

"Joker." His voice was so full of guilt and shame that it became obvious.

Joker wrapped his arms and frowned at him.

"Neil, just tell me."

He took in a deep breath and exhaled, and looked at Joker straight in the eyes.

"Joker, I am so sorry about EDI. I promised you that I would take care of her. Not only did I break that promise, but I think what I did on the citadel caused EDI and the entire Geth race to be wiped out. No….I'm not only sorry, that is a massive understatement. I feel so absolutely horrible about what I did, that I can't sleep anymore."

"What happened?" Joker cut him off.

Neil told Joker that he was hit by Harbringer's beam, and described everything that happened afterwards from meeting Anderson and their confrontation of The Illusive Man, and how he was indoctrinated to shoot Anderson and made TIM commit suicide.

"After I passed out briefly from the blood loss, I was lifted up to another part of the Citadel. And then things got really surreal and bizarre. I….met the catalyst. It was an advanced AI, and it told me about why the reapers exist. About his solution to the chaos between organics and synthetics."

This made Joker raise an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not going to lie, this sounds like something that was directly ripped off of a B-rated suspense and thriller vid. So a synthetic decided to stop the chaos between synthetics and organics by creating more chaos between synthetics and organics?"

"Those were my exact thoughts. Though once it told me that it turned against its original creators in order to preserve organic life, that's when I knew that it's a rogue AI that has encountered a paradox. It told me that it's solution will not work anymore, and that I had to pick a new solution. It gave me three choices. Have the crucible Destroy the Reapers, and possibly wipe out all synthetic life. It told me that I would possibly die from the blast due to my synthetic implants from Cerberus. Sacrifice myself and upload my consciousness to the reaper network in order to Control them. Or I jump in the crucible beam to melt myself in order to achieve Synthesis, a process which combines organic and synthetic life."

Joker still had his arms wrapped in front of him, and was frowning at Shepard.

"I'm guessing you choose Destroy then?"

Neil bit his lips and nodded.

"The catalyst was the leader of the Reapers. I thought it was full of shit and it was pitching a last desperate attempt to prevent me from stopping them. That's what we've been trying to do for the last five years Joker, find a way to destroy them. If I picked anything else the reapers would still be around. There would be no peace. But apparently the only thing it truly lied about was me dying."

Joker still held the same pose as before, but began to nod in acknowledgement.

"So you had to sacrifice synthetic life in order for the rest of us to live."

He slowly slumped down on a wooden bench that somehow stayed intact throughout the entire reaper occupation. One hand stroked his drenched and stubby beard while he stared at the ground.

"I loved her." Was all he was able to say in that moment.

Neil's mouth was agape, trying to form words. But all he could do is hang his head in shame.

"The reapers had to be destroyed though."

Neil glanced back at Joker who was still staring at the nearest puddle dejectedly.

"Control is doing exactly what Cerberus wanted, and we spent so much effort to bring those bastards down. The last one you mentioned, Synthesize or whatever? That probably wouldn't solve anything. Not to mention, that the reapers would still be around. But that means that EDI and the Geth would also still be around."

Joker let out a deep sigh and nodded.

"I don't even know what to think Shepard."

"Neither do I, Joker. It all happened so fast, and it seemed like I was inside one of my own nightmares. I wasn't sure whether it was all real until I woke up in the hospital."

He slumped down on the rickety wooden bench next to Joker, and stared off into the ruined skylights of London.

"Listen….Joker. Words cannot describe on how horrible I feel about the decision I was forced to make."

"Quit feeling horrible then. You did what you had to do. I'm not mad at you, or think that you've killed my girlfriend and the geth. No, I'm just mad that any of this had to happen in the first place. I just…wish there was another way."

"Don't we all?" Neil replied gravely.

He was glad that Joker didn't hold any grudges against him. Or at least, it didn't seem like it. That was enough to give a sigh of relief. Though the fact that he was directly responsible for all those deaths, whether it was the right choice or not, was still not something to feel proud about.

"I heard about Cerberus being up an about, and how they are after you. I thought we took them out at Cronos. Amazing how many people can simply walk away from giant explosions these days huh?"

Neil shook his head. "I'm really tired of it all. I just wish I can just put away my guns and live normally. Just seems like trouble always has its ways to find me."

"Well uh, I'm not so sure about the living normally part. You know, with being a galactic hero that stopped the Reapergeddon. But hey, if you plan on launching any missions that involves impossible odds, giant robots, terrorist groups, super-massive conspiracies and giant cuttlefish overlords; you know where to find me."

He gave joker a genuine smile and patted his shoulder as he stood up.

"Don't need to ask me twice."

"Hey, Shepard!" He glanced back at Joker and noticed a faint smile.

"Would you stop getting yourself hospitalized every day? I'm supposed to be the crippled one here."

Neil simply gave him a nod of acknowledgment and made his way to De Luca's medical tent.

* * *

The room was dimly lit which caused his eyes to take a moment to readjust to the current atmosphere. He heard the old man's heavy breathing in his medical rebreather along with the ambience the rainstorm was creating. Age hasn't been kind to this man, he noticed heavy wrinkles upon his facial structure, and he periodically began hacking every so often. It was obvious that De Luca was nearing the end of his life, whether it was from his age or all the physical and mental wounds he suffered throughout his pitiful life. There was a part of Neil that told him to have a little sympathy, but he traced his memories back to that horrifying scene which this man has placed him. This man was going to force him to brutally murder Garrus Vakarian in order to save himself from a life threatening situation. If he wasn't so shackled by whatever was left of his moral compass, he would feel compelled to beat this old, helpless, sick and dying man to a bloody pulp. Though that wasn't what he was here for, and he wouldn't dare stoop down to that level now.

"What the _hell_ do you want?" Mister De Luca's words were mixed with his sickness, but they were also mixed with so much venom and bile that it almost made Neil cringe. However, he was still able to keep his passive composure.

"Mister De Luca. I know that you don't really like me."

"That is an understatement, kiddo." He spat back at him.

"…and I don't really like you that much either. So I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible, but that will be completely up to you."

De Luca was about to spew more bile at Shepard, but he caved in.

"I guess I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"

Neil shook his head and brought a chair up beside his hospital bed.

"I know that you were in contact with a Cerberus agent named Caleb Ronan."

De Luca rolled his eyes and groaned obnoxiously.

"Archangel Garrus, The "Great" Commander Shepard, Cerberus/Terrorist agent Caleb Ronan. You ungrateful spics are all the same to me."

"No, we are not. Now, I want you to tell me where and how you met him. This man that you met is very dangerous and he wants to hurt a lot of people."

"And you and the rest of your god damned intergalactic, xenophile normandy dream team don't?"

"I don't have time for your bullshit old man. The longer you don't tell me what I need to know, the longer I am going to sit here and piss you off. So I'm going to ask again-"

"Okay, okay, okay. Just shut the hell up and I'll tell you. You done rambling? Good."

The irony of that statement was almost enough to make Neil laugh. Almost.

De Luca gave out a painful hack as he cleared his voice.

"If you are after this…Caleb Ronan character, then you have your hands full." He noticed that De Luca's tone became less than hostile, which was enough to relieve some tension that was building up.

"To say that you are chasing a ghost is an understatement. That…so called Shadow Broker? This guy can makes the Shadow Broker look like some poor middle aged prick working at the Alliance Intelligence Services. Caleb on the other hand truly knows how to disappear, and reappear anywhere he damn well pleases. On top of that, he somehow has eyes everywhere. He's like the fucking big brother that everyone on Earth was accusing the Alliance of doing. He knows when you're sleeping, when you're drinking, when you're smoking, when you're fucking and so on and so forth. You get the damn picture."

De Luca gave out another painful hack and continued.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he is listening in on our little friendly chat in the first place. That means that I probably won't have much time to live in this galaxy, but I don't have any more fucks to give about that at this point. I don't like you, and I can't forgive you for what you and your friend did to my son. But, if you are chasing that Cerberus creeper spic in order to put a bullet in his head then you have the right idea. Unfortunately for you, I have no damned clue when it comes to his current whereabouts. Only that he was in constant contact with me, reminding me that he was watching my every damned move. Like I said, he does whatever the hell he wants. Caleb is truly the closest thing to a living ghost, and it's fucking scary. I'd keep a shotgun under your bed if I were you."

Neil shook his head and stood up, ready to walk out of the tent.

"Did I say I was done? Sit your ass back down, you stupid fuck."

"You have anything else to add rather than just more rambling?"

"Yeah, I do. I have some advice. Caleb already has some creepy obsession with you. Don't bother looking for him, because he'll simply find you first with your pants down. So don't be stupid and always keep some sort of protection on you wherever you go."

Almost on cue, his omni-tool was pinged with a video message from Major Coats.

"Commander Shepard. I would like to inform you that we have back traced several Cerberus signals, and eyewitnesses confirmed that they saw a man that matched Caleb Ronan's physical descriptions enter the ruins of Palace Westminster. If you would like to aide us in our search, we'd be grateful. Coats out."

De Luca looked at Neil and gave him a grin.

"Speak of the devil."


	13. Chapter 12: Call of the Hounds Part 1

Chapter 12- The Call of the Hound Part: 1

_"He won't be able to escape this time."_

Garrus had quite literally jumped into his combat armor as soon as he heard the news. The anticipation of confronting Caleb caused him to begin rambling to himself out loud. Shepard's team was currently en route to Palace Westminster, where witnesses have claimed to see Caleb Ronan enter the ruins by himself.

"Not going to hesitate this time. Going to put a bullet in his head." He glanced at Garrus and noticed his hawk like eyes as sharp as they ever were. The turian wasn't addressing anyone in particular, but he let his thoughts blurt out of his mouth. His mandibles periodically flared as he tuned and polished his Vindicator battle rifle and Valient sniper rifle. It reminded Neil of how predators would sharpen their claws before they hunt. Garrus neither noticed nor cared that he has caught everyone's attention on the shuttle. Tali and Liara were unnerved as Ashley and James gave Garrus a look of annoyance. Just as a growl was forming in Garrus's throat Vega decided to break the awkward silence.

"Hell Scars, we get it! We all know how much you want to beat the crap out of Caleb. We haven't even found him yet though, so just simmer down already."

"He's right you know." Ashley chimed in.

"We're still not sure if Caleb Ronan is really in those ruins. For all we know, it could have just been a random survivor wandering aimlessly around London. Having a witness say that say saw a bald man with flashy white clothes doesn't mean anything right now. So save your damn energy until we actually find something."

Garrus looked at the duo without saying a word, but then went back to preparing his gear. This time he was taking in loud inhales and exhales in attempt to cool himself down.

The truth was that everyone was nervous in that shuttle. They were anticipating a rather large showdown with Cerberus. It wasn't anything they haven't dealt with before, but they were dealing with an enemy who always seemed one step ahead of them. Neil couldn't help but feel that they were being drawn in , rather than launching a surprise assault.

His shoulder jerked up when he felt Tali placing a palm on his shoulder. Tali could always tell what he was thinking at any given moment, and right now she could tell that he was very tense. On any other mission he would have already been mentally and physically ready for any obstacle that gets in the way of his tasks. But now, he was about to go hunt down someone who was once considered his closest friend with lethal force. This mission was personal, almost as much as getting Tali her homeworld back.

Neil simply put one of his hands over hers and gently stroked it. He didn't say anything, because he felt that this wasn't the time and place to be to intimate right now.

"We'll be touching down in 20 seconds commander."

Neil nodded in acknowledgment and equipped his N7 gear.

"You heard the pilot. Make your last minute tune ups and equipment tests. "

"So this is it huh loco? We finally get rid of the big bads and have some cocktails on the beach?"

"If only. But yeah, that's part of the plan."

The shuttle doors opened to a scene where alliance soldiers surrounded the now half scorched Palace Westminster. Some had their snipers aimed at the windows while others were casually walking around the perimeter with their guns holstered.

"Commander Shepard." Major Coats quickly approached Shepard with his dark blue armor accompanied by two other alliance soldiers.

He took a quick moment to examine him, and then offered his hand. Neil took it and shook hands with him.

"It's good to see you heal quickly, especially given the circumstances. "A champion among men" some of my marines are calling you."

"It's good to see you too, Major. Fill me in on what's been happening so far."

"Right. Come with me and bring your squad with you." He and his guards quickly jogged to the center of the perimeter in order to provide a better tactical observation of the scene.

"I've set up a dozen men behind barricades in front of the main entrance. There are several more barricades set up around the perimeter. If you look to the rooftops, I've placed several snipers scoping for any movement. At first we thought that there were a pocket of survivors here. Unfortunately, the initial search squads only found bodies and charred remains."

"If Caleb is really in that building, then the only way he could possibly escape is if he has the power to dig underground." Tali added.

"I don't know sparks. Cerberus has better toys than we do, remember?"

"Yeah Vega. I bet they do have better toys than we do. Why don't we ask how that worked out for them at Cronos?" Said Ashley.

While the three conversed, Neil narrowed his eyes as he observed the scorched structure which used to be the center of politics in this side of Earth.

"Caleb is smarter than this. Why would he trap himself without any backup?"

"The man thinks he's a world class diva, that's why." Garrus chimed in while doing a quick test of his targeting visor.

"Cerberus operative Ghost #09 is known for his theatricalities. But I agree Shepard; he has too much experience to make a mistake on this scale. At least not without purpose." Liara noted.

"I don't care if he has spirits damned reapers in there. We are taking him down for good this time."

"That's the idea Garrus. Let's just hope that if he does pull off something and tries to escape, Coat's men will be able to do their jobs. So Major, I'm guessing that you want us to go inside and take a look for ourselves?"

"That's the plan Commander. Be careful when you are inside. Even if Caleb isn't in the vicinity than keep in mind that Westminster has seen much better days, and some sections are unstable."

"Understood Major." Neil turned around to gesture his team. "Alright, this is it folks. The mission is a go."

"I'm right behind you, Neil." Tali responded while equipping her M-22 Eviscerator shotgun.

As Shepard approached the main entrance, he began to feel his senses tingling. At first he dismissed the feeling, attributing it to nerves. Once they were all inside, the tingling in the back of his head intensified.

"Something….doesn't feel right about this." Neil blurted out loud.

Tali walked up next to him close to his side and looked at him.

"What's wrong Neil? You sound…frightened."

"No, no I'm not frightened. Just anticipating something. Is it just me or is it freezing in here?"

Liara, Garrus, Tali, and Vega simply stared at him with confusion while Ashley raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Shepard. I know that I told you that turians don't like the cold. But this is nothing compared to Noveria. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine Garrus!" Neil shouted at Garrus unexpectedly. Both of them flinched at the sudden outburst.

Neil started blinking as he looked around the atmosphere.

"I think we should split up in order to find Caleb." He suggested. Everyone in the room started staring at each other.

"No, Neil. I am not leaving you this time." Tali replied angrily.

"Tali, listen to me. I am more than capable to take care of myself. I will be fine."

"If you do this, and you end up in another hospital room, words cannot describe how angry I will be with you."

"That's just the risk I'm going to have to take, isn't it? I want you to follow Ashley and Vega to the roof and fill me in on what you found up there. Liara and Garrus will take the lower levels. As for me…."

He quickly glanced up the nearest staircase while his eyes twitched.

"I'll go up here and see what I can. We'll meet up here in about 20 minutes. Be safe and good hunting ladies and gentlemen."

Vega frowned and looked at Ashley and Tali. Ashley looked back and shrugged as Tali jabbed a finger into Neil's chest.

"We are having a talk about this after this mission is done, you understand?!"

"Shepard, I have to agree with Tali. I don't like this plan, I think we should stick together just in case."

Neil stared blankly at Tali and Garrus. "Orders are orders, follow them." He said without emotion.

"Now, go."

Tali raised her arms in the air and followed Vega and Ashley to the rooftops. Garrus gave Neil an intense stare before he turned away to back up Liara.

Now Neil's attention turned to the nearest staircase. He didn't know what caused his sudden outburst, but what's done is done. Perhaps he'll have his mental checkup after the mission is over. His eyes winced in pain when he felt something whistling in his ear. There was a rainstorm outside, perhaps it was intensifying when they entered the building. But what truly bothered him was that when he got closer and closer to the top of the staircase, he felt the temperature drop.

* * *

Liara frowned as she watched Shepard walk out of her view. Garrus turned his head and narrowed his hawk like eyes at Shepard.

"What the hell is wrong with him? What are we going to do now?"

"Follow my lead, but we are going to have to be quiet." She said while she turned her head around.

* * *

Neil was slowly shuffling across the narrow and dark hallway. The thrusts of the shivering wind were increasingly engaged. He felt weak and powerless, almost the same way as he felt before activating the crucible. He slowly took out his pistol and dropped on the floor. He then did the very same thing with his vindicator assault rifle. Neil was now vulnerable, but he didn't even notice what he did with his weapons until it was too late.

At the end of the hallway there was a door that was ajar. In it was a wide open and empty room, but it was dark. He simply walked in while the doors shut closed behind him with an indicated red lock light. Neil started panting heavily, as a deep rumbling sound impaled his consciousness. The lights suddenly turned on and temporarily blinded him. As he regained his sight, he noticed an all to familiar face that made his blood boil. The bald man was indeed wearing "flashy white clothes", though it looked exactly like Kai Leng's armor with a Cerberus insignia placed the left side of his chest. His hands were placed behind his back.

"It's good to see you again Neilio."


	14. Chapter 13: Call of the Hound Part 2

Chapter 13- Call of the Hound Part 2

"_I'd figure you'd be much smarter than that, Shepard_."

His hands were still placed behind his back while he paced menacingly around Neil. Like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey.

"How many times have you been indoctrinated? Two….three? And you even saw what I was capable of back when you were being all lovey dubby with your quarian. You know very well of what I can do. Yet, you still charged in head first with your pants on your head. So why did you do it, hmm? Was it because you simply wanted all of your problems to disappear now, so they don't trouble you in the future?" Caleb questioned him while giving him a mocking look with an eyebrow raised.

"So that's it huh? You're just going to shoot me dead here while I am under your leash? You think killing me will bring anyone you loved back? That it'll give you some false and short lived sense of satisfaction?"

Caleb snorted at the remark. "Kill you? Here and now? That's like calling myself a quail hunter, but I only hunt quails with their wings clipped. No no no, that won't do. You are quite lucky that it is me that you're facing right now Neilio. Any other coward would in fact, shoot you dead and run away. I'm not like that, at least not today. In fact I'm feeling quite noble right now. So here is the deal. I remember a particular sparring match we were supposed to have about ten years ago. I would've brought some gear for the both of us, but over at Cerberus land we do full contact, with full force. With that said, if I knock you out, I bring you back to Cerberus. If you end up incredibly lucky and knock _me_ out, then you and your alliance buddies can do whatever they damn well please. I wouldn't suggest arresting me, since that didn't really turn out well for anyone now did it? What do you say?"

The humor on Neil was lost on him. He felt his ire rise the more he looked at Caleb's smug face. It was eerily similar to what he felt when he confronted Kai Leng on the Cronos station.

"Let me go, and I will hold _nothing_ back, Caleb." He spat at him.

Instead of attacking him, Caleb simply clapped his hands playfully and shouted.

"That's the spirit!" Caleb stood several paces in front of Neil and activated a blue flare which cut off the indoctrination.

"Let's not stand around and make mean faces to each other like pansies, and show me how much you're willing to fight for the pathetic excuse that you call a life."

Neil took a few slow steps forward while staring down his old friend. The rage couldn't be contained anymore, and he exploded as he charged at Caleb full force while yelling. He threw a hook punch to his temple, but Caleb faded back and passed his strike with ease. His knuckles clenched and slammed right into Neil's exposed ribs while he was recovering. He grunted in pain and clutched his side while he clenched his teeth.

"Is that it? You would expect someone of your stature to fight better than a low class mess sergeant."

Neil immediately charged with a straight punch to Caleb's jaw, but to his avail his assailant ducked the punch and impaled him with a counter punch of his own to the same target location. Neil stumbled a few steps clenching his teeth at the sharp pain.

"Falling for the same mistake twice. This seems to be a common theme for you." Caleb moved in with a powerful roundhouse kick to the ribs. Neil's instincts finally kicked in as he was able to pass the kick and quickly moved. He slammed Caleb's stomach with ten quick and powerful punches. While he was doubled over, Neil came up with a knee to the nose which made Caleb stagger backwards while clutching his face. Blood soon oozed out of his fingers and stained his white armor. Blue flares soon emitted from his body as he clenched his fists with rage.

"You did say full contact and full force, didn't you?" Neil said with mocking grin.

"So the loverboy finally put his pants back on, huh? Unfortunately, you just _pissed me off_."

Caleb biotically charged Shepard with a flurry of strikes, which most were blocked or evaded. But he was getting the upper hand while Neil was being pushed back against the wall. His right hand flared a fiery blue as he attempted to crush Neil's esophagus, but he quickly moved out of the way and used Caleb's own momentum to smash his head against the wall. His right bicep wrapped around Caleb's throat and attempted to put him in a sleeper hold, but he yelped in pain as Caleb slammed his elbow into his solar his stomach. All of the oxygen that was inside of his lungs escaped, and he found himself doubled over as he desperately gasped for air. Caleb casually walked up to Neil and swept his leg out from under him that made a loud thud echo throughout the room. He frowned at Neil clutching his abdomen while squirming on the floor.

"Better than I expected. Less than I hoped." Blood from his nose was still dripping all over the floor. He brought up his left arm and cleaned his blood soaked mouth with his forearm. His eyes narrowed as he kicked Neil again in the abdomen. The sound of his pain was satisfying to him.

"You should have known that this would happen, Shepard. That it would end like this. You lost, Neil. It didn't begin when I kicked your ass, or when you decided to enter this building. You fought on the wrong side of the war, and you will pay the price."

"That's…funny. I remember your lot telling me the same thing not too long ago. Hey…why don't you go ask Kai Leng and the Illusive Man how they're doing for me, will you?"

Caleb chuckled at the remark as he kicked Neil in the stomach again.

"Look at you, always taking the optimistic route I see. And there is your problem. Optimism is for the naïve and hopeful, but that can take only take a man so far in life before it all crashes down upon his head. I bet you are very confused on how Cerberus still exists, despite your accomplishments on Cronos and Earth."

He paused for a moment to spit out the blood in his mouth and continued.

"I'm sure you got this shpiel from the Illusive Man before, but Cerberus isn't just an organization Shepard. It is a lifestyle, a culture, a clear set of beliefs. It is an _ideal, _just like religion and politics_._ You see, the difference between a life and an ideal is that life is a very fragile thing. A little bit of tampering here and there will completely destroy one. I can end your life right now and the "Great Commander Shepard" will be no more. I can walk out of here and shoot a random vagabond in the face and he or she will cease to exist. Now let's say someone assassinates a powerful religious figure. Would that religion be wiped out forever at an instant? How about when the reapers killed the Hierarchy's Primarch? Does the turian Hierarchy cease to exist today? I think we can both agree that a single life only has a set time limit ranging from hours to days, days months, months to years, and years to decades. But _ideals_, those are nearly immortal. You and the galaxy can kill every single member of Cerberus and deem itself free from our…_terrorist antics. _But for every Kai Leng and Illusive Man you kill, a new one will take their place."

Neil was only half listening at this point as he was slowly able to fill his lungs with air again. He tried thinking of something, anything that would help him fight off an angry biotic at hand to hand combat.

"You'll write down our names in your history books. Then one day, someone somewhere at some near or distant future will read about us, and start getting ideas. And Cerberus will be reborn. You can apply this to almost anything Neil! Some race is bound to make another synthetic race like the geth, maybe someday someone who is crazy enough may even bring back….the reapers. This is part of life's vicious cycle, the true reality of living. Life and happiness are mortal, while ideals are eternal."

He knelt down next to Shepard and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Maybe once Tali'Zorah ceases to exist in your life you'll see the bigger picture, like how I did."

Caleb's rambling was finally caught off with a punch to the throat and staggered baskwards. Neil quickly got on his feet and punished Caleb with a flurry of powerful punches, connecting wherever they decided to hit. His thrust kick into Caleb's solar plexus sent the Cerberus assailant falling to the ground. He attempted to stand up but he was swiftly kicked back to the ground and found himself being violently strangled by Neil.

"Make another threat about Tali. I want you to utter another threat about her and make my day. Because once you do I will kill every single one of you Cerberus bastards with my fucking bare hands, STARTING WITH YOU!"

* * *

Caleb's body flared up and he biotically flung Neil across the room. His eyes were dazed as he scanned across the room, but when he looked up, he saw Caleb raise a fist covered with a blue flare. A single punch like that would possibly cave his face in. Knowing that his death is imminent, he simply stared at Caleb straight in the eyes. Just when he thought it was all over, he was flung across the room. At first he thought it was dream, but when he looked behind him, to his relief he saw Liara with her body flaring up and Garrus aiming his gun sights down at Caleb. The Cerberus operative quickly flung Garrus before he was able to pull off a few shots, and his weapons became scattered across the room. His attention was turned onto Liara, but a chair was biotically thrown at him. He somersaulted out of the way, and countered the attack with a biotic throw of his own. It hit Liara directly, but it only made her stagger backwards as her shields took the blunt of the attack.

"Operative Ghost #09. I have been watching you."

"I'd be insulted if you haven't, Shadow Broker. Otherwise, all of those shows I put on for you would have been for naught hmm? I think my proudest work was on Thessia right before it was decimated, wouldn't you agree?"

His body was violently yanked in towards Liara as she pulled out a pistol. Unfortunately for her she was lashed across the room before she was able to pull off a couple of well-placed shots.

"You bastard!"

Caleb spun his head around just in time to be tackled to the floor by Garrus.

"Archangel, is that really you? Why I am such a big fan of yours, no really I am. I especially liked that one part where you got your entire squad killed and then tried to take on all of Omega with your sniper. Can you sign my autograph-"

He was cut off as Garrus's talons slashed across his cheeks that made three large marks that were marked with Caleb's own blood.

"Well, I guess that'll do."

Garrus tried desperately to knick an artery, but to his avail he was only able to inflict scratches as Caleb threw him back several feet with his biotics. He felt a warp drastically drain his shields and quickly spun himself around just in time to see Liara about to strike his spine. Her pupils widened as he clutched her head with a single hand, and whipped her violently threw a wooden table. A hand was placed on his shoulder, and he was spun around to get immediately struck on the same cheek that Garrus slashed earlier. Shepard's momentum was short lived as Caleb lifted him with both biotically charged hands across his throat.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you. Being choked to death is an incredibly slow process. Now, if I happened to cave your esophagus in, that would not only be slow but it will be incredibly painful."

Then at that very moment, a few shots from a shotgun rang out through the room. At first, Caleb didn't feel anything. Then his eyes wandered to his arm, just to see his chunks of flesh from his shoulder missing.

Tali stood at doorway with her shotgun aimed at Caleb. She was dead silent as she slowly walked down the room and continued to pull the trigger. By now Caleb's shields regenerated with a few rounds pinging off of it, but he quickly scrambled behind cover while he clutched his blood soaked shoulder with one hand. His eyes surveyed the room, and he noted that Neil, Garrus, and Liara have regained their composure while the quarian had her sights on him. If he didn't act now, she will have more of his blood. He brought up his omni-tool and brought it close to his mouth.

"_It's time."_

* * *

"What was that Vega? Alliance troops are attacking each other?" He said while having his sights on where Caleb was hiding.

"He could be controlling them, the same way he controlled you." Garrus added.

"Doubtful. If that were the case, he would have indoctrinated us as well."

"How….bad...did he hurt Shepard?" Tali sounded unstable, as if she was about to snap at any given moment.

"Tali, I'm okay. Just a few bruises."

"Neil…we are going to talk-"

"Tali look out!" Garrus pointed towards the corner where Caleb jumped in the air with his body covered in a blue aura. His fist slammed into the ground which made a biotic shockwave that threw everyone on their backs. Neil quickly got up on his feet feeling dazed, though once he regained his vision he saw a figure quickly move through the doorway.

"Caleb is making a run for it, move it people!"

He sprinted off ahead first, with Liara, Tali, and Garrus not to far behind. Seeing his pistol in the same place he dropped it, he somersaulted forward and equipped it. Garrus found Shepard's battle rifle, and equipped it for himself. Caleb's blood was making a trail which would make it easier to track him.

Neil peered over the balcony and saw Caleb about to run through double doors. He took aim with his pistol and fired several shots, but all of them missed.

"Spirits damned Shepard! We are going to the firing range after this." Garrus said frustrated.

"Says the guy that didn't try to fire any shots!" Neil retorted while sprinting down the staircase.

They were now sprinting after Caleb through the charred part of the ruins, where he noticed there were giant holes in the ceiling.

"Ashley and Vega come in, are you on the roof?"

"Aye aye loco."

"We are in pursuit of the target, and he is sprinting in your area right below."

"Understood. There he is! Target in sight!"

Up ahead the group saw Caleb zig-zagging around doorways and cutting sharp corners while they observed gunfire raining down from above. Suddenly, a flash of blue light zipped across the premise and knocked out several supporting building beams from above.

"What the hell did he do?!" Garrus yelled out.

Neil's adrenaline spiked as he saw this part of the Westminster wobbling uncontrollably.

"The building is about to collapse!" Ashley yelled over the coms.

Neil turned his around to his team and shouted "Move!"

They quickly scrambled forward, desperately trying to find an exit as rubble from above fell all around them.

"Tali, the door!" Garrus pointed towards an exit that was locked.

"On it!" Tali activated her omni-tool and scrambled to get the door open.

"Tali, this building is going to collapse any second." Liara said frantically.

"Caleb is getting away!" Neil added.

"I'm almost done you bosh'tets!"

The door opened and the team ran up the street as fast as they could. There was fighting taking place at the entrance which had the Alliance completely distracted at what was happening on the other side. Looking back, Neil saw a chunk of the building collapse with a billow of smoke shooting up into the air.

"Ashley, Vega, do you read me!?" He yelled into the intercom, but there was no answer.

"Williams and Vega, please respond!" Neil continued to yell frantically, but there was still no response.

He started panting harder and harder, and then lashed out at a car window in pure rage.

"Shepard, you can go smash more car windows in their honor later. I can see Caleb just down the street!" Garrus pointed a talon to a human figure that was running in between cars desperately trying to break the pursuit. He used Neil's vindicator and fired off a few bursts that simply bounced off Caleb's shields. Neil charged forward with his pistol drawn, firing all of his shots that were left in his thermal clip while yelling incoherently. Most of the shots connected, and it took out Caleb's shields. Neil sprinted even faster to move in for the kill. Caleb however, used all of the strength he had left to jump in the air and slam his biotic fist into the ground, causing a shockwave to make several cars go whipping across the street. One of them was about to land dangerously close to where Shepard was.

"Neil!" Tali was right behind him when it all happened, and when she saw a car about to crush Neil, her instincts kicked in. She quickly wrapped her arms around his abdomen and jumped backwards causing both of them to fall against the ground. She did it just in time; if she had waited then Neil would have surely been crushed by remains of the car. Liara rushed up from behind with her biotics flaring up, and Garrus right behind her with his vindicator aimed at Caleb's last known position.

Unfortunately, he was now nowhere in sight.

* * *

The Cerberus pilot that was disguised as an Alliance marine was waiting anxiously for the arrival of his passenger. He then saw a figure sprint towards him through an alley. His pupils widened when he saw that it was Operative Ghost #09 that was clutching his blood red shoulder, and that he had three large gashes across his cheek.

"Sir! What the hell happened?"

"Shut up and drive." Caleb said he frantically strapped in his safety seat next to the pilot.

"Christ sir that wound looks serious!"

"Did ya hear me the first time jackass? Shut up and drive or papasmack!" Caleb retorted hysterically while he was about to biotically backhand his pilot across the cheek.

* * *

Neil was now up on his feet, while Tali supported him with one arm across his waist. She was pulling him closer to her, rather affectionately he noticed. Liara and Garrus were still scanning the area to see where Caleb may have ran off too, but they gave up and regrouped around their Commander.

It dawned on him that Ashley and Vega were most likely killed when the building collapsed, and he was responsible for their deaths. He sent Tali up there with them, and if she decided to follow his order then she would have suffered the same fate. He shuddered and looked down onto the street with sorrow written all over his face.

"You look pretty sad, skipper!" His eyes wandered where he heard that voice, and to his relief he saw both Ashley and James were waving at the team in their hovering evac shuttle.

"I'm insulted loco. You thought that after everything we've been through, a building would kill us?"

"But…I saw."

The shuttle landed right in front of them, which cut his speech short.

"Yeah yeah, you saw alright. We were on the damn thing while it was collapsing but then this evac shuttle picked us up just in time." Ashley responded while she gestured happily at the pilot. Neil's eyes widened as he recognized the familiar face.

"Cortez!"

"It's good to see you Commander!"

Neil and his team boarded the shuttle, and he shook hands with Cortez.

"Likewise Cortez! Now do me a favor and get us as far away from here as possible."

"You got it, Commander."

Garrus started to grin as he strapped himself onto the seat.

"Well, it looks like we are starting to get the whole gang back together."


	15. Chapter 14: Life signs fading

Chapter 14- Life signs fading

_"I almost lost you again."_

The doctors told her that he took several large blows to the floating ribs which caused one of the bones to fracture, and that he should take several mandatory physical therapy sessions in order to prevent any chipped bones to cause internal bleeding or possibly puncturing an organ. Half of Neil's torso was covered with medigel and other creams that treat internal pain. Tali winced at each purple blotch and scars that scattered across his body.

"That comes with playing the role as a galactic hero, you know." Neil said playfully.

"But that was during a war, Shepard. This is supposed peace time, and there are still people out there hurting you."

"I guess some things never change-Ow!" He hissed in pain as Tali carefully applied medigel to a cut on his bicep.

"These doctors did a terrible patch job on you Shepard. If I wasn't here then one of these cuts would have gotten infected." She said grimly.

"Thanks, mom. " Shepard replied sarcastically. "In all seriousness, I know how to handle myself Tali. You really don't have to worry about me. I can handle myself."

He felt Tali squeeze his hand and glanced at her curiously.

"Then why? Why do you almost die every other day? How come whenever I find you, someone is about to kill you?" She increased the pressure on his hand as she moved closer to his side.

"I can't bear the thought of you dying again. What would happen if…"

"Tali, come on now." Neil said soothingly while he stroked her head cloak.

"If I lost you again, I think….I think I would lose myself."

Neil lunged forward and pulled her in to a tight embrace. He grimaced as the pain from his ribs came back, but he didn't care. It was, as Tali would say, still totally worth it. "There is no need for that, Tali." He spoke softly while he nuzzled the top of her cloth.

"Whenever I'm not with you, someone is trying to kill you."

"Shhhh. That's enough." He spoke while cradling her head against his chest.

"This isn't anything that we haven't been through before. We will get through this, together. I promise."

Whenever Neil promised anything during the war he felt guilty because he'd truly believed that there wouldn't be any way that he'd come out alive. But this time, this promise felt genuine. It was something he could truly keep, even if it meant putting himself through every obstacle that came before him. He was always skeptical about what he could accomplish, but this time it felt like it was set in stone.

Neil was quickly thrusted back into reality as Tali pounced and cradled his head with both of her arms while gazing at him with loving tenderness. Whenever she did that it would drive him absolutely crazy, and she knew it. If he had any more energy that night, he would have simply locked the doors and shown her all of his passion and love that he has for her. But all he could do was simply gaze back at her with a heartwarming smile.

"I will hold you to that promise, Shepard." She spoke softly

"Also, if you ever force me to leave you again, I'm going to punch you."

"I'll keep that in that in mind the next time I get indoctrinated." He whispered back.

Just as Tali moved her hands to take off the locks of her faceplate, Shepard's omni-tool began beeping indicating an urgent message. Both of them sighed and reluctantly climbed out of bed.

"Maybe after we survive the next giant explosion we can continue?" Neil said in jest while stroking the side of Tali's head cloth.

"I think I'll have to hit you for every time you run into a fiery explosion as well."

"Glad to hear it."

He activated his omni-tool while his eyes were narrowed.

"It's from Garrus. He said to meet him in the middle of the camp because him and the rest of the gang found something that I'll want to see."

"Keelah, if it's another mako race…"

* * *

When the two of them arrived at the scene, they saw Garrus, Ashley, Vega, and Liara in their combat armor and doing tests on their weapons. When the group saw Shepard, they all stood up.

"Did I miss something here? You didn't give us any time to suit up." He spoke while approaching the group.

Garrus approached him swiftly while holding a datapad in his talon. "If there was time for you to get in your gear, we would have waited. But we just stumbled onto this."

"What exactly am I looking at here?" Neil said cautiously while taking the datapad.

"It's Caleb."

Shepard and Tali exchanged worried glances with each other.

"I'll go get my shotgun."

"No worries sparks!" Vega approached Tali with an eviscerator. "We were thinking of you when we found this."

"Did you trace the signal of the message?" Neil said tensely.

"We tried several times, skipper. But it would just reroute the signal back to the datapad." Ashley said while handing him a predator pistol.

"There was a video encryption attached to the message Shepard. We were able to decode it in a playable format, but we wanted you to see it for yourself." Liara said.

Neil slowly walked to the nearest bench and sat as he played the video while the group leaned over his shoulder to watch along with him. There was static along with a black screen for over twenty seconds, and then Caleb appeared sitting on a chair in a dimly lit hospital room. He was wearing the same white armor cloak which was still covered with a mixture of his blood and dirt from the falling debris. Though he looked calm, and he was simply staring right into the camera while frowning. Just his look was enough to have Neil's muscles tense up as if he was waiting for some sort of conflict.

"It's good to see that he didn't patch up the autograph that I left for him on his face." Garrus' face twisted into a turian version of a grin that fit well with the venom in his voice.

"I hope that shoulder wound gave him a nasty infection." Tali spoke as if bile was building up in her mouth.

"_Hello again Neil. If the individual that is watching this is not Shepard, I suggest that you show him this video as soon as possible. It is something that he would want to watch, I'm sure."_

Caleb leaned forward while clasping both of his hands together. He paused for a moment and frowned at the camera.

"_You got me pretty good back at the palace. Right now, I'm going to man up and admit that you beat me. There, I said it. You beat me at the Westminster, you were the better man."_

"And he always will be." Tali commented aggressively.

Caleb stared off into the corner while biting his underlip. Neil knew that whenever he did that meant that he was getting anxious or nervous about something.

"_You're probably wondering how this happened to me. Why it happened. I was…your closest friend and I admit that you were one of my closest friends."_

He rested his forehead against the ball that his hands made and sighed.

"_I don't think I ever opened up about my childhood to you, Neil. I've always felt guilty about that. My father always told me to man up, take responsibility of my actions. Admit defeat, but never give in to failure."_

Caleb gave out a deep chuckle while slowly shaking his head.

"_I wish he would have followed his own advice before he decided to leave me and my mother when I was ten. She was an amazing woman. Maybe….just maybe if she was still alive, things may have been different. I would have never joined the alliance and met you. And I'd probably be dead because I would be living close to my mother, in downtown Los Angeles. One of the…first places the reapers hit in their invasion. Maybe it would have been better that way."_

To Neil, this was an incredibly eerie moment. Because for once since he met Caleb over a week ago, it felt like that it was his old friend that was talking to him on the camera. A ghost.

"_But, life has its ways and whatnot. When I was sixteen, it was about a day or so after Christmas past midnight. I was a..heh. I was a rebellious teenager, like how everyone else was at that age. My mother told me to come home, that it was getting late. I decided not to be a doofus and I went home. But then when I knocked on the door, it was already open. I thought to myself that maybe my Mom decided to throw out some trash and accidentally left the door open."_

Caleb shivered and then continued to speak.

"_And then I heard her scream. No, not a scream. It was…more of a deathly shriek. Because that's what it was. I went into the living room and I saw a man stabbing her with a knife, and he didn't stop. I couldn't stop him because…I was simply frozen in place. I don't know who this man was, but I remember hearing on the news that some madman escaped from some…asylum or prison or whatnot. Either way, I was watching this man murdering the only guardian I had left. He then turned around and he saw me. I looked into his eyes and at that moment, it felt like he was sharing the same feeling. We were both lost in the world._

_I told him "Please, that's enough now. Please stop." And I just kept begging him to stop._

_He was approaching me with the blood stained knife clutched in his hand. I never heard him say anything. I then…I don't know what caused me to say this but…then I told him that "The abyss will take both of us soon. Please, you go first. I'm too scared." At that moment, I saw a tear roll down his cheek, and then he started laughing. He brought the knife to his throat, and he bled out right in front of me. I was then the only one alive in that…horrible, terrible room."_

Caleb bit his lips again and silently nodded his head before continuing.

"_It's what motivated me to join the Alliance. Parents are gone, and I wanted to kick some ass in order to give me some purpose in life. Heh, now that I think about it, wasn't your motivation a bit similar? You lost your parents, so you joined the Alliance. Our friendship was bound to happen. I thought that's the only purpose I had left in life. I would become a grunt that the military can waste on some costly war. Though I became better than that, much better. And you were the person that helped me get me there. An invitation to the N7 training program. What a fucking milestone that was huh? But then….I met her."_

He rested an elbow on his thigh while stroking his chin before continuing.

"_I don't think I ever told you how I met my Clair." _He started chuckling as he began reminiscing.

"_After my mom died, it left my soul hollow. I was cold, indifferent, and bitter. Perfect attributes for a soldier. So that one week before Akuze happened, we were on shore leave at Earth. I was just walking down some street in some metropolis, and I was just peacefully thinking to myself about everything that's happened in my life. And then suddenly this…woman. She just barged right into me when she wasn't looking. She asked if I was okay and as for me I simply pretended to be all mad and disgruntled and whatnot. She then offered to take me out to dinner as an apology. A dinner date as an apology, can you believe that? After the dinner date, I didn't follow up on the relationship at the time because…well. Akuze was just over the horizon. But after that day, I realized that I met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Possibly the most beautiful woman I will ever see in my life. I told you about her, and you told me that I should follow up on her once I am done with all my training. That I will possibly never have this chance at her again. Well, after Akuze…I thought you were dead and you thought I was dead. And that was the last time we were in contact with each other…as friends."_

He shook his head sadly and then continued.

"_The Alliance discharged me for "abandoning my squad." At first I was going to make a scene, but then I realized that this was indeed the perfect opportunity to go after Clair. And it worked. We became very close, and I opened up about everything to her one night. She wrapped her arms around me and suggested that I go join the law enforcement, that even though I was discharged from the Alliance that they would need someone with the skillsets I had. I took her advice, and as a result I was quickly moving up the ranks. A year later, I got the opportunity to work as a detective and hunt down the scumbags like…that man with the bloody knife. I made many friends and connections, but the best thing out of all was that me and Clair were married. Soon after, we had our baby girl, Collette. My life was set, I truly had thought I had found my ultimate purpose in life. To make Clair one of the happiest women in the whole god damned galaxy. I was succeeding for the most part, we had a happy and healthy family for almost a decade. But then…"_

He started shivering at the memory and wiped off the sweat that was forming on his cheeks. Or perhaps it was tears. Caleb was always good at hiding his true emotions.

"_That one horrific day, several months ago. I was in San Diego doing some out-town-job that I can't really remember what it was. I made a lot of friends in that city. We were in the police department in the morning, everything felt normal. But then there was a loud BOOM outside with everyone screaming. It shook the entire building. At first we thought it was a terrorist attack, but then when we went outside…I saw them. Huge metal monstrosities that looked like locusts. They were probably about a mile high tall at least. I counted five of them in the downtown area while these small meteorites were crashing down everywhere, releasing what was known as "husks". Every time these things released their horns, the glass from the buildings would shatter. Every time one of their legs took a step, it made a building adjacent to its collapse while making the entire city shake violently. And then…they started using their laser cannons. Those horrible weapons literally disintegrated scores of civilians running away from them. It ripped skyscrapers in half in a fiery inferno with ease. It was absolute chaos on the streets. There were hundreds…no…thousands of people screaming and trying to escape the city on foot. The husks spotted us, and they started firing down into the crowd. The streets soon became littered with bodies…which included all of my friends. I simply ran with the crowd, hoping that I wouldn't get gun downed. People were dying all around me, and buildings were crumbling before me. By the time I got to a safe distance, I didn't even recognize the city anymore. There were dozens of those things that landed in the city. I heard the screams and cries of...millions. Every building had flames shooting up several hundred feet into the air, with the huge blooms of black smoke shooting tens of thousands of feet into the air and blotting out the sun. I witnessed an entire society wiped out in merely hours right before my eyes. I held out my palms. Those ashes that fell were not only from the debris, but it was from the people who were being melted and disintegrated. I was holding little tiny microbes of what used to be people in my hands, and I'm sure my friends were among those ashes."_

"_And then I got that call from my Collette." _He spoke in whispered tone.

"_Lady bug people and silver trees she said. I got into the nearest air car and bolted back to my house. My neighborhood was smoldering, and I spotted my house was melted in half. I took out my pistol and called out to Clair and Collette, and they answered. Or….at least, their shells did." _Caleb was keeping his body composure normal, but Neil could tell that the change of tone in his voice was indicating pure sorrow and grief.

"_I put them down. I put all of my thermal clips into them. I didn't yell, cry, want to turn into some big raging hulk that would smash everything in its path. As much as I wanted to do all of those things combined, I felt…hollow, cold, dark, bitter. It was several times over that feeling I had after my mother died. I wasted all of my thermal clips, so I couldn't end myself. After staring down at what used to be my life, my love, my family…I simply walked down the war torn streets of my neighborhood, alone. The husks didn't attack me…possibly because that's all that was left of me. A husk with no purpose, just an empty shell waiting to expire."_

Caleb then frowned and looked menacingly into the camera, causing Neil's spine to crawl.

"_And that's when Cerberus found me. They watched and they observed, and unfortunately they saved me from my own demise. So…why am I still here you ask? They gave me a new purpose to drive what was left of my life. They showed me the threats that would be looming over humanity during the reaper war, and after. You are a strong and formidable adversary, Shepard. They knew that once you would destroy the reapers no matter what anyone would tell you, and we've been preparing for that outcome. There is a dark cloud looming over the galaxy, Neil. And I will make sure that humanity is the one that comes out on top, and that they are never treated like second-class citizens in the galactic scene. We will be leading the other races rightfully, and they will beg for our absolution for the neglect they have shown us all these years. We will be the apex, and the races will either have the choice to side with us, or they will be against us. Either way, that is my purpose now. After I fulfill that purpose…I can have the permission to ascend from this life peacefully. That is something that I won't allow anyone to take away from me, not even you._

His gaze moved towards the entrance of the room, where two soldiers saluted him.

"_Is everything ready then?" _He spoke with urgency before sighing and wiping his brow of his sweat.

"_Good. Prepare the shuttle and don't cause any unwanted attention." _The silhouettes of the two soldiers saluted him and left whatever room they were in.

"_Wait, on second. You! Come over here."_

What appeared to be an alliance soldier approached Caleb and saluted.

Caleb took out a breather mask and placed it over his mouth, making him look more sinister than before. The camera panned out to reveal that he was indeed in a hospital room with a patient in the bed. It wasn't clear who it was at first.

"_Give me a needle and fill it with adrenaline. Also hold a pillow and wait for my signal." _His voice now sounded more synthetic than it normally was.

"_Yes sir."_ The marine responded mechanically.

After a few moments of scrambling, he came back with a needle filled up with a liquidly substance and was holding a pillow. Caleb now looked back into the camera and spoke eerily.

"_I also have something else to admit, Shepard. I lied to you. I am indeed a monster, like that man with the bloody knife. But I am a necessary evil. So I will give you and your friends an ultimatum. Stay out of Cerberus's way. I will look the other way if you do. Go live that life that you've all been fighting desperately for. Take Tali back to Rannoch and walk into the sunset together. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to terminate you and your loved ones. Perhaps in that reversed order, Neil. Let this be my one and final warning to you and your friends."_

Caleb nodded to the marine, and he placed the pillow over the patient's head and began suffocating him. Caleb leaned forward and spoke venomously into his ear.

"_You brought this on yourself, De Luca. You now will be used as an example to what happens when you double cross me."_

Caleb injected the adrenaline shot into De Luca's veins and grinned to the sound of his desperate and muffled screams. He then tore off De Luca's shirt and stabbed his chest repeatedly with the long empty needle.

Neil quickly got up to his feet and sprinted as fast as he could to De Luca's patient tent with his squad following closely behind him. He used all of the strength he could muster to kick down the door and witnessed a gruesome scene.

"Oh my god." Was the only thing he could utter as he saw De Luca's bloody and wrangled corpse on the hospital bed. The pillow was still placed over his face. There was dozens of needle stab marks across his chest and neck with blood still oozing from some of the wounds.

"Keelah this…this is _horrible."_

"No one deserves to die like this." Ashley said grimly.

Neil removed the pillow and saw a pale white face with De Luca's eyes being mostly rolled back into his head, just showing the whites of his eyes. He grimaced at what was revealed to him and took a few steps back.

"So it was just a prerecording then? Damn." Vega said rather calmly. It sort of shocked him that none of this was fazing him in the slightest. But there were more important matters at the moment.

"How the hell did his indoctrinated troops get away with this with no witnesses?" Neil thought out loud.

Garrus was the only one standing still, and his mandibles flared while he was staring at De Luca's corpse, deep in his own thoughts. And then he spoke out loud without breaking eye contact with De Luca.

"That's because those marines weren't indoctrinated."


	16. Chapter 15: Transparency

Author's note: Hey everyone! I deeply apologize for not updating this story for over a month. I just felt really discouraged to write for some odd reason. Though I'm back to some extent, hopefully to write out a chapter every now and then, and not every other month and then. It's possible that because of all of the side projects and life in general getting in the way that I may have to put this story on a hold. But no need to fear, I'm not planning on leaving the story unresolved. So please, I insist that you all stick around for the ride! Thank you!

* * *

Chapter 15- Transparency

"_Caleb, don't tell me that you are going to pass this up."_

The sun was going to set soon. It decorated the sky, clouds, and the ocean with an utterly gorgeous shade of orange. Both Caleb Ronan and Neil Shepard were sitting casually outside on some beachfront bar. There was a park right across the street where several children were playing tag or were goofing around on the swings. They had been granted a rather large amount of shore leave, and the Akuze mission was going to be deployed in less than a week. So they'd figure having a little R&R would help relieve some of that pre-mission tension. Both of them looked a lot younger and naïve about how life worked.

Caleb looked rather uncomfortable and ran his hand through his wavy blonde hair. It was rather easy to read his mind since he would do certain things such as running his hand through his blonde hair while he was content, annoyed, and etc.

"Hell Neil, what was I supposed to say to her? 'Oh hey by the way. You know this is crazy but I think I like you a lot and we should date more! But it's entirely plausible that I may get killed or horribly mutilated from the many missions I will embark on. Call me back!'"

"I don't fucking believe it." Neil looked genuinely flabbergasted mixed in with a hint of disappointment.

"You're telling me that a beautiful woman approached _you_ and took _you_ out on a date, and even showed that she had clear in _interest_ in _you. _On top of that you just told me that you have an interest in _her_. Next you're going to tell me she gave you her number and that you-"

"She did give me her number, and I didn't call her back yet." Caleb said while taking a sip of his beer.

Neil rolled his eyes while he threw his arms up in the air. "I'm not sure whether I should shove my boot up your ass, or if I should get you so god-damned drunk that you end up calling her back."

"Maybe a bit of both?" Caleb responded with a nervous chuckle.

"I am seriously contemplating that, buddy." Shepard gave Caleb his best 'I am this close to dope smacking you' look while slightly leaning forward on the table.

_Off in the distance he heard a scream. Neil looked at Caleb and at everyone else, but they all acted as if nothing happened. He glanced at the children and they were still happily playing._

"I got invited to the N7 academy along with you, Neilio. I mean…holy shit, that's not really something that happens to anyone. This is the real deal. This is where you become more than just a regular marine. We are talking about the elite. The top of the class, the goddamn apex.

"And….?" Neil asked loudly.

"And? What else do I need to say? Life expectancy is short."

"You just said that N7s were part of the "apex" so how could life expectancy be short?"

"I will have to be away from home all the time."

"Until you decide to put down your guns and become a civilian, which we could technically do at any time at this point. Three years mandatory, remember?"

"Holy shit I've been around an overconfident, suave prick like you for _that_ long?" Caleb teased in a friendly tone.

"Love you too." Neil retorted.

"Pffft." Caleb let out a light hearted chuckle while placing a palm over his face.

_The scream now seemed to be getting closer and it there is more than one person screaming this time. Yet when he looked around, things appeared to be normal. Except for the fact that one of the boys playing on the park stopped whatever he was doing and was staring directly at Shepard. Though, as time passed a horrifying realization began to dawn on him. He had absolutely no control of his body. His consciousness was witnessing everything through the eye lens, yet everything he did or say acted on their own accord._

"Caleb… buddy, listen to yourself. You have a thing with this Claire, and she seems to have a thing with you. This isn't something that can happen every day. Right now, you have the perfect opportunity to start up a relationship. If it kicks off then damn, you'll both be happy! If it doesn't, no big deal. I just want to let you know …."

_The screams were getting progressively louder. It sounds eerily similar to the thousands of people he heard being butchered in Vancouver. Now all of the children in the playground stopped what they were doing to stare directly at him. Several patrons also stopped what they were doing and stared back at him as well. None of them blinked or even twitched, they were deathly still._

_Everyone in the bar, and the entire area it seemed, stopped what they were doing to stare at Shepard. Some of the screams now turned into deathly shrieks. As his head surveyed the area, he noticed that all of these people were slowly being inflicted with multiple lacerations, incisions, and penetration wounds with no source of what's causing the bodily harm. Everything was quiet as blood began to seep freely from these wounds and it seemed as if some of the limbs and ligaments were simply being cut or melted off the body. Neil has seen gruesome atrocities before, but if he had any control of his body he would run outside and purge his body from all of the utter disgust that was building up inside of him._

"I've got your back. I'll be with you every step of the way helping you out, Caleb."

_Caleb continued to act like nothing was wrong, despite the gruesome scene that was surrounding the area that they were in. The screams and shrieks were louder, as if it was happening right beside him. Everyone's eyes, that is everyone who still had their eyes intact, turned white. Their hair was slowly falling off from their scalps. Every person in the immediate area seemed to be deteriorating quickly. That is, everyone but two individuals. There was a particular boy that was standing still, but had no wounds inflicted upon him. His eyes were white like the rest, but he smiled back at Shepard._

_And then there was Caleb…_

"Thank you Neil…" He paused and gazed off into the distance. _The sky was turning blood red and the shrieks were becoming deafening. There were blood puddles all over the floors and the streets, yet none of the bloodied and broken people made any moves. There was no panic or distress, just the same stillness._

"**I'm really glad to know that I've got someone like you to pick me up whenever I fall**_**.**_" _His voice was beginning to be distorted; almost sounding cold and synthetic. Caleb was the only one besides that one particular child that didn't appear to be wounded._

_A giant red flare appeared in the sky which coincided with a loud, booming reaper horn._

"**Oh, and Neilio? Just wanted to say one more thing.**"

_All of the shrieks and screams stopped, and it was eerily quiet. Neil slowly turned his gaze onto Caleb._

"SHEPARD! "

_Caleb transformed into one of the husks the reapers created and quickly jumped Neil to the blood soaked ground at an inhuman speed. The eyes of Caleb's husk were dark blue while it let out a horrifying shriek. Caleb's husk grew out sharp claws and began tearing off Shepard's flesh and repeatedly yelled out his name as if he was slowly being tortured to death._

"SHEPARD! SHEPARD! SHEPARD! _SHEPARRRRRRRD!"_

Neil woke up from his slumber with a loud gasp for air. All of his limbs were stiff, and he was sweating and shaking while wrapped in slightly wet white blankets. He quickly glanced around the dark corners of the room, and then slowly let out a sigh of relief while quivering under his breath.

"Shepard!"

His head whipped around to see his Tali quickly gliding across the room and sat at his bedside. It was so dark in that tent that the only small source of illumination present was her hauntingly beautiful white eyes.

"I heard noises and I came as quickly as I could." She spoke while wrapping Neil with a warm cloth to stop the shivering.

"Neil, was it another…?" Her voice was so soothing and soft. Yet it was mixed with a hint of urgency that he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her in a soft and tender hug. Tali returned the embrace and softly nuzzled her voice vox in his shoulder. Both of them simultaneously sighed a breath of relief, or perhaps a mix of both relief and anxiety.

"Yes. Yes it was." Neil whispered back to her, and gave her a small squeeze while closing his eye lids. Tali stayed silent for several minutes just comforting her lover from another one of his frightening nightmares.

"Was it the boy again? The forest?"

"No, it was worse than that. "

"Worse? As in….?"

"A flashback about the "good old days." About an old friend." Neil replied grimly.

Tali didn't reply for a while. Her only response was to softly clink her faceplate against his forehead and share several moments of silent comfort and company with Neil.

"Let's take a walk outside Neil. I think that will help. Garrus is outside doing some target practice."

"This early in the morning?

"I think we both know him well enough not to question it anymore."

He let out a soft chuckle and slowly stood up from his bedside.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that Tali." He took of his sweat soaked shirt and put on another white T-shirt along with his N7 hooded sweater. Neil noticed that Tali had a particular interest in his chest, though going any further than that would have to come at another time and place. He simply smiled back at her while wrapping his arm around her waist, and both of the calmly strolled outside of the tent.

Neil was always warmed by the company of her. Even when times seemed desperate, her presence would always inspire him with positive energy. However even after a week since he's last seen Caleb, a week of uncertain peace and quiet, he always seemed to be drowning within his own thoughts whenever he was left alone. He would yearn for the company of friendly faces, and he would yearn for her company even if she was gone for a few moments. He remembered that moment when he opened up to Caleb, about how he envied him. He told Caleb about how he possibly will never find someone to hold onto; that the only purpose for him was to be a marine whose life would be wasted on some war. Caleb gave him the same pep talk that Neil gave him at that beachside bar. He even went as far to say that he would shove his boot up his ass if he didn't find a girlfriend within ten years. It only now dawned on him on how truly vulnerable he was; that he would go insane if she wasn't there to embrace him, to tell him that everything will be okay.

To love him.

The sun was slowly creeping up over the horizon which painted the entire sky and the clouds with a beautiful haze of orange. Neil was always awestruck by Tali's beauty, but the moment her faceplate reflected that light while interlocking her eyes with his was the moment he felt his heart melt. He felt like the pool of negative emotions was evaporated, which emotions such as compassion, peace, and comfort replaced. But all of those emotions were revolving one powerful feeling that was building up inside of him.

"Tali. I-I…love…" He tried to speak coherently, but the quivering of his lips made him stutter uncontrollably which Tali thought was utterly adorable.

"To hell with talking." Neil muttered under his breath.

He quickly unclasped the locks to her faceplate and pulled her in close to plant a deep and passionate kiss, in which Tali returned with just as much intimacy.

There were more battles to be fought and won, because a threat still lingered over the galaxy what with the apparent reemergence of Cerberus. But for now, he ignored his omnitool which pinged loudly from the call by Admiral Hackett, and enjoyed the moment for as long as it would last.


	17. Chapter 16: Beyond the flames

Chapter 16 – Beyond the Flames

_"So many faces, so many voices."_

Neil remembered them all. Many he didn't know, but a select few he knew personally. All of these lost voices that were associated with these images of people were stirring and boiling inside of his consciousness, a cauldron of tormenting emotions and restless thoughts. The hard truth was this is now his normal emotional state when he wasn't under physical stress. His mind would create these horrible thoughts, and disturbing visions that he was always trying to repress and shove away in some dark closet. Sometimes when he would gaze around, he would see that wretched image of that boy. So much innocence in his appearance, but it was a demon that would never stop following him. It was a demon that made him walk through all the levels of hell and back, and one that made him make that heart wrenching choice of sacrificing every synthetic soul in the galaxy in order to stop the cycle of terror and genocide. This boy, this horrible apparition would possibly never stop tormenting him. He knew that this is why he needed to be so close to the ones he loves and cares about so dearly. Neil first needed them to fight an impossible war, but now he needed them desperately to keep his own sanity intact.

It's funny, really. He felt more comfortable and well rested propped up against this wall of some ravaged building overlooking the encampment than being in that soft and warm bed in his rather large personal tent. The air was cool and fresh, and nature's winds caressed his cheeks. But it was rather the quarian that was now snuggled up against his chest. The past several hours after their intimate moment under the sunset was possibly one of the most refreshing moments he had ever since the reaper war was won. Whenever he thought of Cerberus, caleb, or all of those lost voices he would simply look down and see his lovely Tali stroking his cheeks, and nuzzling his chest and would forget all of his current issues. She was still sleeping when he woke up from his slumber, but for the past few hours he was content to just hold her comfortably while enjoying the silence. Tali needed to put her faceplate back on in order to stop her from getting an infection. He was desperately looking forward to the day where he can find a permanent place for him and her to settle down and hold each other like this more often; eventually without her having to wear the mask. Eventually, he would see her smile all the time.

Neil didn't even realize that he was staring at her for such a long time, rather obsessively. And for once, it was actually peaceful and quiet. He wasn't sure if this was a dream or if it was real, but he didn't really care. This was definitely a nice change of pace. Neil felt his body shift as Tali crawled further up his body and nuzzled his neck with her icy cool helmet vox.

"Did you sleep well?" She whispered to him rather lethargically. She's still exhausted, yet the first thing she does is to check on the well being of her Shepard. If it wasn't for the fact that Tali would probably catch a severe infection if she had any more exposure from the outside, he would have taken off that mask and kissed her thoroughly. So instead he settled for giving her a heartwarming smile and a tender hug."

"Yes, yes I did. Thank you." He responded warmly while stroking her head cloth.

Tali craned her head and softly clinked her faceplate against his forehead. Both of them shared a peaceful moment of silence; transfixed by each other's eyes. For Neil, her eyes were the most hauntingly beautiful he's ever seen. They weren't as detailed as a regular human's eyes, just pure white ghostly eyes that he can easily get lost in. This was the woman he was ready to spend his entire life with, but there were a few large mountains that he is forced to climb in order to reach that goal. It irritated him to no end, how whenever he feels like settling down and dropping off the radar there is always some other threat that he needed to fix, or promises that he needed to fulfill. Though Neil knew that this time he was close to achieving his final desire, which was to simply live his life. No more running from monsters, chasing after villains, dodging bullets, and dancing around death. There are a trillion other souls in this galaxy; surely they'll be able to find someone else who can take up that mantel. If he had never encountered Caleb he may have already threw his hands up in the air and told all of the Admirals, politicians, and crime lords that it's time to look for someone else that is more capable. But this was a ghost from his past that came back from the clutches of death in order to haunt him. It was a ghost that he had indirectly created, and he needed to put an end to the madness in one way or another.

"We should do this more often, Shepard." Tali's soft voice interrupted his chain of thought, but he was glad for the distraction.

"We will, don't you worry about that." Neil responded tenderly while planting a kiss on the top of her head cloth.

"We'll end this problem together for the last time. And then, it'll just be me and you. I promise."

Tali's only response was to stare back into his eyes. Even when she had her faceplate on, Neil knew when she was smiling. He let a deep contented sigh that fogged up the outer part of Tali's faceplate and held her fondly for several minutes. This was absolutely perfect for the both of them. It was just him, and her, with no one else around to bother them. Neil was always used to being in constant motion. Interact with one friend here, do a favor of another military leader or politician there. Save an entire civilian populace everywhere else. But this was a very nice change of pace that he can easily get used to. Now all he needed to do was find that perfect secluded place to build a home and settle down for the both of them. Especially the place of the peaceful and ambient nature. It seemed very tempting to just pick Tali up and drop off the radar; to just begin their lifetime journey together right then and there. Caleb and Cerberus gave him the chance to simply disappear and stay out of their way. But on the flipside, he knew the implications of what would happen if Cerberus succeeded and somehow assumed control of the entire galaxy. He knew that it would come back to haunt him then, the same way they came back to haunt him now.

He was quickly shot back into the present when he heard a loud bang. Both him and Tali jerked out of their comfortable position out of surprise. Both of them looked at each other in confusion and then winced in unison when they heard the same loud bang again.

"Gunfire." Shepard said to Tali with his pupils widened. He frantically looked around for his pistol but smacked his forehead with his palm when he realized that he was unarmed.

"Tali, please tell me…"

"I left it back at the camp." She responded with the same amount of distress.

Neil quietly cursed and looked around the area in order to form a plan. He winced again as he heard the same sound yet again. This time he recognized it as gunfire. Gunfire coming out of a sniper rifle.

"We got a sniper, or maybe a group of snipers. I think they are on the floor right above us."

"What do we do Neil?"

He quickly scanned the area and his eyes locked on to two pieces of rubble on the floor.

"See those? Let's each grab one and crack some heads."

"We are bringing rocks to a gunfight? I know we've done the impossible, but this seems a bit ridiculous don't you think?"

"Just go with it!" Neil mentally kicked himself for slightly raising his voice at Tali.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you love. We don't have much to go on right now, just follow me alright?"

She let out a sigh and reluctantly agreed to his plan. Both of them silently crept to the upper floor with a piece of rubble on their hand. There was another loud bang from the sniper rifle which nearly caused Tali to fall down the stairs from her startled reaction. Neil caught her and quietly put her back on her feet. Once they got to the second floor, the noise was intensifying. The culprit or culprits were literally right in front of them, through the room ahead. Neil signaled Tali to stop and peeked through the the broken doorway. There was a silhouette of a large figure aiming his rifle at something and firing.

"Who is it?" Tali whispered.

"It's not Cerberus, unless they started hiring turians."

"Turian? What is a turian scout doing here?"

"Beats me, but there is only one way to find out." He paused for a moment to formulate his plan.

"I'll sneak in first. I'll try to knock him out with this rock. We'll interrogate him afterwards. Though if he gets the jump on me, you come in and chuck your rock at him. Turians are tough, but I doubt they can take on both of us at the same time."

"This is a really horrible plan Shepard. But fine."

"Hide in the shadows. You'll be able to see the whole thing from here."

Both of them nodded to each other in acknowledgement and then launched their scheme.

Neil snuck up behind the turian and got in very close proximity right behind him. And just then, the turian fired his rifle again with a small glass object shattering in the distance.

"About damned time." Said the turian in a suspiciously familiar voice.

Shepard stood up in a relaxed posture and rose an eyebrow. Then when he finally realized who he was dealing with, he turned around to Tali and smirked. It took her several moments to figure out what was going on, but then when it hit her she started to giggle.

Neil turned around and silently put down his rock and waited. This turian is in for a particular surprise.

"The hell happened to my aim this past week?" The turian mumbled to him.

"Yeah Garrus, what happened?" Neil asked in a mock-playful tone.

Garrus quickly spun around and gripped Neil's shoulder in surprise. His mandibles started to flare, almost as if he was ready to tackle his suspected assailant down. But as soon as he saw his face, he quickly lessened his grip and returned to his relaxed stance.

"Neil! Spirits be damned don't sneak up on me like that!"

Tali then crawled out of the shadows and approached the two men. She couldn't control her laughter.

"Should of known Tali was going to be with you too. What are you two doing up here? Don't you have your own tent to get all mushy in?"

"I could ask the same with you and your rifle there buddy." Shepard replied while Tali was leaning her head on him, still trying to control her laughter.

"Hey now. I thought you said you'd never mention that again."

"Sorry Garrus, I couldn't help it."

"Um, is there something that I'm not quite getting here Neil?" He was gesturing at Tali who was still leaning her body against Shepard's shoulders. She was trying to form words but her laughter was impeding her speech.

"It's not like you two thought I was Cerberus, and you were planning to knock me out with a big piece of junk, were you?"

This time both Neil and Tali started to laugh. Both of them were holding onto each other and trying desperately to get a hold of themselves.

"Ah. You gotta love the times where best friends can be together and laugh about how they nearly bludgeoned each other to death with a blunt object."

"I know, right? We are like one big and happy dysfunctional family." Neil responded while he cleared the moisture forming in his eyes. He looked down at Tali and gently started to gently massage her back.

"Okay okay. It's alright now love. You can stop now." He said to her while giving her a bright smile.

She was able to regain her composure, but she was still spontaneously making light-hearted chuckles to the situation.

"Wow Tali. I always knew that you were insane. But I never knew that the idea of giving me major concussion was so amusing to you." Garrus responded with a hint of playfulness and sarcasm.

"I'm sorry Garrus." Tali said in attempt to be respectful but failed due to the spontaneous giggles. She took in ten deep breaths and she was finally able to kick off the laughter.

"Ah don't you lie to me. We both know that you're not."

"Okay, maybe I've been playing around with the idea for some time." Tali walked closer to Garrus and looked up to him.

"Apology hug?" She asked genuinely.

Garrus laid his sniper down and opened his arms up wide. "Put it there."

Both of them gave each other a brief and heartfelt hug. After a few moments Tali broke it off and quickly gave Shepard a deep embrace.

"Don't you start having any thoughts Neil. You are still mine."

"Yeah, I know." He responded awkwardly and shot a grin back at Garrus.

"Alright but let's get serious here. It's pretty early in the morning, and if I recall it was raining a little bit last night. So what made you two decide to run out of your tents and stay in my shooting range for the night?"

"_Your_ shooting range? I found Neil waking up to a vivid nightmare, so we went out for a walk and watched the sunset. After that well, we just decided to hide away in a random building-"

"My firing range." Garrus interrupted.

"We decided to hide away in _your_ firing range."

"That's better."

"And just stay off the radar for the night. Just us with no one around."

"I see." Garrus turned his attention to Neil and solemnly patted his shoulder.

"Sorry to still see you suffer over sleep, Shepard."

"It's…okay. I guess. It'll pass eventually."

"It will pass, Neil." Tali chimed in. "We'll make sure that you can recover from all of this."

"Was it about Caleb, Shepard?" There was a long and awkward silence after Garrus asked this question. Tali was glaring at him, and Shepard was looking at the floor.

"I'm…I apologize."

"No, no need to Garrus. Yeah, yeah it was about Caleb. It was about the last time I remembered him as a close friend. Now that I think about it, I'm getting bad flak from pretty much everything really."

Garrus gave him another comforting pat on the shoulder.

"It's been over a year since I had my squad on Omega. I still have some sleepless nights over them." He paused for a moment and continued. After you picked me up from Omega I always wondered to myself what I could of done differently. What I could of done to save my men. What I could of done to prevent Sidonis from betraying us."

He paused for a moment and then continued.

"You saw me after Omega. I was a completely different person at the time. I never really paid much attention to anything else. Just wanted to get revenge. Maybe I thought that my life was going to end soon after that, and I didn't really care in the slightest. But that all began to change once I was around you two long enough. Both of you made me realize that I had people backing me all the way. And…I appreciate that you helped me wake up. Otherwise, I'm not sure where I'd be at this point."

They all paused for a second to see a large ship appear in the horizon. It was a dreadnaught sized alliance ship; it most likely had Admiral Hackett aboard it.

"I think you are starting to go through something similar Shepard. You see something terrible happen and you blame yourself. You think that you could of stopped it and you take all the blame for yourself. I've been there. And I'm sure she's been there."

"I have." Tali chimed in.

"But we had you to help us get out of our rut. You're not just a commander to us. To Tali you are now her significant other, and to me you are my closest friend. You've always supported us all the way, and now we're both obligated to return the favor. These dreams and hallucinations of yours? I'm going to make sure that it's only temporary. Once this whole Cerberus situation comes to a close, I'm going to try and find a way to help you get that stress free life you've always wanted. . Shepard, I am speaking for both me and Tali here. We both support you all the way and back and you should never feel like you're alone in any problem that you run into. I know that you've already known this, but a nice reminder from time to time doesn't hurt. So don't ever hold stuff like that inside you. Those thoughts of Caleb, Cerberus, Reapers, the dead or just anything that's bothering you. Let us know about it so we can help you."

Neil didn't look at the two of them and even turned away to avoid direct eye contact. He was too busy trying to prevent himself from tearing up.

"Damn it you two. Don't make me cry this early in the morning." He spoke humbly.

Tali looked back and forth between Garrus and Shepard, and then she slowly walked and gave him a comforting side hug.

"Thank you Tali. Thank you Garrus. Thank you for everything that you've done."

"There is no need to be thanking me anymore Shepard. It's what I do." Garrus responded.

Neil smirked as he responded? "Is that so? I thought being a smartass is 'what you' do."

"Why of course!" Garrus's mandibles flared in a non-threatening manner. "I always liked being a jackass to my superior officers. But being with you for the past several years? I had a damn field day."

"Holy shit. I've been around an overconfident, suave prick like you for _that_ _long?" _Neil teased back in a friendly tone. Though his smile turned into a frown as those vivid memories and visions came rushing back into his consciousness. Tali noticed that his mind was slipping, and she quickly gave him a tight embrace and successfully brought Neil back into the present. He returned Tali's embrace briefly and turned his attention back to Garrus.

"But really. Thank you, for everything you've done. I just have one more important request for the both of you."

"Oh? And what's that?" Garrus asked with genuine curiosity. Tali shifted her head slightly, wondering the same thing.

"Never change, please." Neil said sincerely.

Garrus's mandibles flared in a way that oddly resembled a smile. "I rather like my own nonsense well enough to keep it permanently. No need to worry about that, Shepard.

"I'll second that. You'll always be mine and nothing will change that." Tali added while nuzzling her faceplate into his chest.

Together the three of them shared a peaceful moment of silence as they watched sun rise over the horizon. Its glaze painted the clouds with orange and red light, making it look like the sky was on fire. In the distance the Alliance dreadnought stood floating in the air above London's wreckage, reflecting the sun's light in all directions.

That is when they got the call.

Neil's Omni-tool started beeping with an incoming message.

"Who is it?" Tali asked while her head was curiously craned over Neil's shoulder. Garrus was doing the same on the other side.

"Admiral Hackett. He's requesting that we meet him aboard the SSV Reliant as soon as possible."

"I'm guessing it's the ship that is all the way over there. That's convenient." Garrus chimed sarcastically.

"He's already sent a shuttle to our general location. It's urgent. Looks like suiting up and getting the rest of the gang ready might be a good idea."

"Wonderful. I can't wait to see what type of ass pulls we'll encounter today."


	18. A quick update

Hey guy, Just a quick update.

I know it has been an incredibly long time since the last chapter, so I'm just letting you know I'm still alive and also personally apologize for taking a long ass time for getting the next chapter up. I just had a lot going on the past month and now I'm just trying to settle down from all the craziness this holiday weekend. Though, I have started working on the next chapter. It's just the reason why it's taking me a long time to get the next few chapters up is because:

1- A minor case of massive procrastination. Cmon, we've all been there.

and 2- These next few chapters are going to reveal something very important to the plot, and I want to make sure I don't completely rush through it and make everything look all hurpa durpy.

So I just want to give a shout out to all of you folks for waiting patiently for the next chapter. I am going to try to hammer down on it a bit this weekend, and hopefully have it up sometime next week.

Have a great holiday break everyone!


	19. Chapter 17: Ashes, Ashes

Chapter 17: Ashes, Ashes

_"We all fall down."_

Neil sat slightly hunched over in his seat on the shuttle, his gazing locked on the floor deep in thought. Admiral Hackett gave a brief explanation to him and his team earlier why he wants them all aboard the SSV Reliant. A debriefing of some sort dealing with the alarming presence of Cerberus operatives being integrated into Alliance forces and whatnot. Neil didn't pay much attention to that matter at the moment. He was reflecting on that intimate moment he had with Tali and his best friend Garrus just a mere hour ago, and how he desperately needed more moments like that in his life. In fact, it made him reflect on all the peaceful and wonderful times he had since Caleb stopped attacking him and it made him think about this whole situation even more thoroughly. It all came down to one question. Was any of this worth it now? He knew that Cerberus was still indeed a threat and they needed to be dealt with sooner than later. But why should he have to continue dealing with this mess? In the end, he really is just one soldier among the billions that are out there. Right then he had everything he wanted; maybe it was time for someone else to take up the mantle of ensuring galactic stability. Caleb even gave him and his entire crew a way out, said that if they didn't get in cerberus's way then they'll never have to see him again. It's been over a week of silence now, so it seems that he's keeping his promise for now. He might as well just tell Hackett that he's going to throw in the towel, and then take Tali somewhere safe until the relays are functional. Then from there, Rannoch finally awaits them both…

"It never ends, does it?" Vega said in a unusually unenergetic tone.

The whole squad looked rather physically and emotionally worn out on that shuttle. In a way, that was a good thing for Shepard so he wouldn't look awkward in front of the people he has always commanded. But it does show an indication that retirement is probably something that at least half of the squad should take into consideration.

"The galaxy is a nuthouse, James." Garrus responded almost synthetically. "Doesn't matter how many times society as we know it encounters near death experiences. The crazies will always be out there causing trouble."

Ashley, Vega, Liara, and Tali all exchanged glances between each other and Garrus. Everyone save for Ashley frowned and silently shook their heads.

"If that's the case, then I think it's due time that I stop being the galaxy's caretaker." Neil added in now with everyone's attention focused on him.

"I think we all saved the galactic civilization more times than we can count in the past five years or so. There is only so much one person can take before it simply becomes to much. So much before they simply have to draw the line and say that enough is enough."

He felt the soft grasp of Tali's palm as she began to gently caress his right hand. Neil gave her a fond smile as he fondly squeezed her hand. His squad's attention was still entirely focused on him, as if he was some world leader making an important address to his subjects.

"Despite what everyone says, I'm still just one man." He gave deep and brief chuckle and continued. "Hell, I'm only Twenty-nine years old and I feel like some old worn out man that's already lived his life. I think that it is due time that some of us should put away our guns and try to get ourselves settled down somewhere. At least, after we figure out what Admiral Hackett wants from us."

"That, or take one hell of an overextended vacation." Garrus's response prompted a light hearted chuckle from everyone in the shuttle.

"But Garrus. I thought you were already on an overextended vacation from C-sec by sticking with Shepard for five years." Tali teased.

"Who said that having one overextended vacation on top of the other is a bad thing?"

However, Ashley wasn't in such a lighthearted mood at the moment. She was hunched over in her seat with her eyebrows furrowed.

"So skipper. You're really serious about this? What about Cerberus?"

"And what of Caleb Ronan?" Liara chimed in.

Shepard shook his head and spoke. "There are hundreds of billions of inhabitants in this galaxy, even after the reaper war. It's safe to say that there will always be bad guys that need to be stopped. And as harsh as it sounds, I personally don't want to be the galaxy's almighty protector for the rest of my life. In the past five years we saved the galaxy at least seven times from some kind of danger, and we've all been through a lot together. But there is only so much I can take of it."

He paused for a moment to sigh, and then continued. "With that said. There will always be bad guys that need to be stopped out there. But on the flipside, there will always be good guys out there to stop them. There are so many people in the galaxy that it's crazy to think that we are the only people in the galaxy that is capable to deal with some scum terrorist organization. There are people out there that are possibly just as good as we are, if not better."

Neil turned his head to Garrus, who had a rather smug grin on his face. "That's right Vakarian. You have to deal with that fact that there is someone out there who is just as good, if not better than you."

"Yeah yeah yeah." He replied with mock acknowledgment.

"So I think that it's time for someone else to take up the mantle and carry the torch. After we help Admiral Hackett with whatever he wants, I'm going to put down my guns and armor."

"But where will you go Shepard? What are you going to do?" Liara asked curiously.

Neil looked over at Tali, who was still staring at him with those white luminous eyes.

"Tali and I are going to stay somewhere safe on Earth until the relays are back online. From there, we're both going back to Rannoch." Tali immediately wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest.

"So you weren't joking about that?" Ashley asked with a grin growing on her face.

"I wouldn't want anything more." Neil noticed Garrus cocking his head to the side and giving him "the face".

"And of course, we'd love for all of you to visit us. Yes, even you Garrus." Tali said with a playful tone.

"Thank you Tali, my heart soares." Garrus replied in the same mocking tone Tali gave him.

Neil shook his head and looked out the shuttle's window. Their shuttle was now docking itself on the SSV Reliant.

"Alright, simmer down children. We're here." Neil stood up and held on to the railings with one hand while the shuttle landed in the docking bay. When the doors opened he saw Admiral Hackett dressed in his familiar alliance uniform, along with half a dozen armed guards. Neil stepped out of the shuttle first with everyone else following closely behind him. The docking bay of this ship was rather large teeming with unarmed workers, engineers, and armed patrol units doing their regular routines. As Shepard got closer, he was able to make out Hackett's grin. It was surprising at first, since he'd never really seen the Admiral be anything other than serious all the time.

"Commander Shepard." He spoke with a small glimmer of pride in his voice.

"I've heard about accomplishing the impossible, but you went way beyond what my standards of that were."

Neil kept his posture straight and saluted him. Ashley and Vega following his example shortly after.

"At ease ladies and gentlemen. No need to be formal right now."

Admiral Hackett approached Neil and shook his hand.

"My god." He stated with awe and disbelief. "The reports told me that you were in a hospital for nearly a month. Now you're standing here with your team as if nothing happened. I am damn proud of you."

Neil shook his head while grinning. "I'm just a soldier fulfilling his duties Admiral."

That prompted a brief chuckle from Hackett. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." He patted his shoulder as if he was a friend rather than an Admiral. Neil wasn't necessarily uncomfortable with having Hackett treat him like this, though it was rather unexpected. He decided not to say anything that may alter his mood yet.

"All of you follow me to ship's bridge. Major Coats is waiting for us. He's going to give us all an update on his progress on revealing Cerberus moles in the Alliance."

"Yes sir!" Vega and Ashley said simultaneously and saluted.

"At ease." Admiral Hackett shook his head and started walking towards the elevator.

"So Admiral. What exactly brings you to London?" Neil asked.

"I heard that Cerberus was causing you and your team some trouble. Along with being a pain in the ass to society, again. I sent Major Coats down here to root them out and he seems to be doing one hell of a job last I heard. But since I was in the neighborhood and I thought I would personally help with the effort as well."

"That's greatly appreciated sir, thank you." Neil replied.

"You don't need to thank me commander. I should be thanking you." Admiral Hackett replied while he got in the elevator. The entire group stood still in the elevator for several moments. He looked down at his watch a few times while the elevator slowly inched its way up to the ship's bridge.

"Should have taken the damn stairs." Hackett mumbled to himself.

The elevator soon came to a stop and opened its doors with the Admiral and his guards walking out first with Shepard and crew following closely behind. There was a large hologram of the ship in the middle of the bridge, surrounded by metal railings. Major Coats and several armed personal were on the side closest to the elevator and immediately saluted the Admiral at first sight.

"At ease gentlemen."

Hackett and the group walked to the side opposite of Major Coats.

"Alright Major. I'm assuming that you're going to give us a status report on your mission here?"

"Yes Admiral." Major Coats took out his omni-tool and revealed a large hologram of data.

"So far we are successful on uncovering Cerberus corruption in the region. However, that's where the troubling news comes in."

Admiral leaned forward against the railings with a serious expression.

"Tell me more."

"Well sir, within this past month we uncovered and arrested over one hundred fifty known Cerberus agents integrated within the Alliance. Most of them were ranging from simple privates to squad leaders. A few were more…higher ranking. We haven't seen a massive spike in Cerberus presence like this since their failed coup of the Citadel a few months ago. It leads me to suspect that their large presence here in London shows that they are planning for another attack, possibly similar to how they staged the attack on the citadel station. Caleb Ronan's whereabouts are currently unknown."

"It's only a matter of time before we catch that bastard. Though about the Cerberus presence, why exactly are they here? There isn't really much here except for Shepard and the refugee camps."

"Although it's confirmed that Caleb was indeed targeting Shepard and using agents against him, I highly doubt the commander and his crew are the only reason that they are here."

"Then Major, you have any guesses on what they are doing h-"

"Admiral Hackett sir!" One of his guards interrupted the meeting while he was on the omni-tool.

"I am getting an emergency transmission from one of the personal in the Reliant's engine room. Patching the call through now."

The guard punched in a code and his omni-tool started to glow into an orange sphere.

"Sir! I have just uncovered ten corpses down here." The man sounded shaken and alarmed. "They are part of Reliant's engineering crew. All shot in the back of the head, execution style."

"Keelah, is Cerberus infiltrating the reliant!?" Tali spoke just as alarmed as the man in the speakers.

The adrenaline started to flow throw Hackett's veins. He activated the ship's intercom and barked into it.

"The SSV Reliant has been compromised. Delta 1 and Alpha 1, form defensive positions at the ship's docking bay. Bravo, protect the ship's bridge. Charlie 1 and 2, protect the crew of SSV Reliant. This is not a drill!"

The man's voice came crackling through the bridge's coms again

"Is that….? Oh my god there is over a dozen armed bombs in the engineering!" As soon as he announced his shocking discovery, there was a loud bang with static following soon afterwords.

Admiral Hackett's pupils widened, while Neil and his squad glanced at each other with uncertainty.

* * *

_"Ring around the rosie"_

A visibly scarred and intimidating man walked down the empty streets of London. He was wearing regular civilian clothing, with a rugged brown hooded jacket and worn blue pants.

_"Pockets full of posies."_

Behind him, the massive shape of the SSV Reliant was shown far away and close to the horizon line. The street was so barren, that his voice began to echo throughout the empty buildings as he sung the classic children's nursery rhyme.

_"Ashes, Ashes."_

Caleb's facial wounds from his last encounter with Shepard and his friends were now healed. But those wounds were replaced with scar tissue, specifically where Garrus had slashed his right cheek with his talons. He suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around to get a nice view of the sunlight reflecting off of the SSV Reliant, way off into the distance. Caleb briefly admired the small object he held, before lightly resting his thumb on the red button at it's head.

_"We all…fall…down."_

Speaking with a carefree whisper, Caleb extended both of his arms out horizontally as if about to embrace something magnificent... and pressed down on the detonator.


	20. Chapter 18: Revelations

Chapter 18: Revelations

_There is a monster that lurks among allies_

_SSV Reliant- 25 minutes before detonation_

_"Is that….? Oh my god there is over a dozen armed bombs in the engineering!" As soon as he announced his shocking discovery, there was a loud bang which sounded eerily similar to a gunshot. And then there was only the sound of static._

Admiral Hackett's pupils widened, while Neil and his squad glanced at each other with uncertainty. The SSV Reliant's crewmembers looked at each other in pure shock and confusion. Major Coat's eyebrows furrowed and stared blankly at Hackett's omni-tool's holo speakers that relayed the murder of one of the crewmembers of the SSV Reliant. Neil Shepard's squad all equipped their primary weapons looking as if they are ready to run head first into a major firefight. Neil still glanced back between Admiral Hackett and everyone else while keeping a firm grip on his newly acquired M77-Paladin heavy pistol. The entire room was completely silent, but to Neil the silence was deafening. He expected to be thrust into another violent fight for his life, and unfortunately he was right.

* * *

**Author suggested soundtrack**: watch?v=55rYuSGOwc0

* * *

The room remained silent for several tense moments. Only sounds of heavy breathing and murmurs were heard among the crew. Armed marines on both side of the table were tightly gripping onto their assault rifles.

"What the hell are we waiting for?!" Major Coats yelled out angrily, specifically at the armed marines on his side of the table.

"Everyone get yourselves geared up!" Major Coats took out a Carnifex and turned himself around ready to charge into wherever the chaos may be. He was ready to live and die for the Alliance and humanity.

"And eliminate the targets." He said with chilling passiveness in his voice.

Major Coats turned around and stared directly at Hackett. Shepard noticed something in his eyes and saw a fire that was sparked within them. It looked like a combination between regret and determination. Within a fraction of a second, Coats pointed his heavy pistol and fired the first shot at Admiral Hackett. On instinct, Shepard tackled the Admiral to the floor, using himself as a human shield. The armed marines closest to Major Coats fired upon Shepard's squad and Admiral Hackett's armed guards as they quickly scrambled for cover. Within seconds, most of Hackett's guard were shot dead. But thankfully his squad was quick and had all made it behind some cover. Some of the traitorous marines then began to fire indiscriminately at the unarmed crew members on the deck. Their panicked shrieks and pained yells were emotionally scarring for Neil. When he opened his eyes everything looked bloodshot, similar to whenever he gets his adrenaline rush. Time itself seemed to have slowed down when he saw mists of crimson red blood above the lifeless corpses falling violently onto the floor. Neil quickly got back up and jumped to the side while firing a dozen shots from his Paladin; instantly killing three traitorous assailants with gunshot wounds to the head. Neil glanced over to his squad, and saw that Liara had hit two other hostiles with a singularity while Vega and Ashley shot both of them to death. Garrus hit one soldier with overload while Tali finished him off with her shotgun, making the bloodied lifeless corpse fly back several feet.

"Shepard, Coats is getting away!" Garrus gestured Neil to look over to the elevator to see Major Coats in the elevator. He equipped his assault rifle and charged towards Coats firing several shots. Though Coats encased himself in some unusual biotic shield which made Neil's attempts to take him down futile. Major Coats simply stared at Neil with his piercing blue eyes and gave an unsettling grin as the elevator door closed.

"We cannot let Coats or whoever that is off this damn ship." Admiral Hackett said while he picked up an assault rifle and a shield re generator from a fallen soldier.

Neil looked around the room in disgust as he saw what was possibly almost two dozen bodies lying on the floor, including the pilot and co-pilot of the SSV Reliant.

"Shouldn't we look for survivors, Admiral?" Tali asked, her eyes disturbed behind her mask as she scanned the bodies.

Admiral Hackett shook his head with a grave expression and walked towards the hallway.

"We need to catch Coats and find a way to deactivate the bombs in engineering. Or even more people will die."

"If I have to guess, that bastard is heading down in the docking bay to escape. There is no way we can catch up to him from here."

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that." Tali said while fiddling around with her omni-tool. Moments after that a loud beeping noise was heard along with flashing red lights from the elevator.

"Unless I'm way off, then I just stopped his elevator a floor below us."

"Thank the spirits for slow moving elevators." Garrus replied.

"Alright then, lets go catch up with Coats. Double time!" Admiral Hackett motioned the group to follow him down the hallway towards the staircase. Neil and his group quickly reloaded their thermal clips and followed Hackett down the hallway. For a old man like Steven Hackett, he was able to move with surprising speed and agility. But the fact that hes charging in head first worried Neil.

"Sir, with your permission I'd like to take point. I think you were their primary target in that stunt back at the bridge."

Hackett narrowed his eyes and nodded.

"I guess you'll get your way this time Commander." He said reluctantly. That comment made Garrus, Liara, and Ashley chuckle.

"Whats so damn amusing?"

"They're just being a bunch of knuckleheads sir." Neil replied as he aimed his assault rifle down the staircase.

"Clear!"

The staircase looked clear of hostiles, but the sounds of gunfire from down below warned them otherwise.

"Jesus, how hard are they hitting us?" Hackett said, sounding genuinely worried.

"If I had to guess Admiral, I'd say this attack is possibly around the same scale as the coup on the Citadel." Liara kept her eyes searching as she spoke, a ball of blue energy curled up in one fist at her side."

"Yeah but back then we can actually tell the bad guys apart from the good guys." Garrus retorted.

"And that is why you bring someone like me in the fields." Tali punched in a few codes in her omni-tools, and suddenly a radar appeared on everyone's omni-tool.

"I was able to hack into Cerberus's com chatter. I rerouted their channels in order to paint them as hostile targets to your huds and radars."

Hackett raised an eyebrow at her and glanced over to Neil. "Damn Shepard, I knew she was good, but this is ridiculous."

"That's just the tip of the iceberg, Admiral." Neil smirked with satisfaction when he spoke. However, he had to push down his growing sense of pride since he was in a ship under attack by terrorists and with bombs that may go off at any second. He reached the ship's crew deck level and hid behind the wall on the staircase. Neil quickly peeked to see if there were any hostiles. But to his silent dismay he saw bloodied bodies strewn across the floor in the middle of the hallway, both armed and unarmed personal. What disturbed him the most were how several of them looked as if they were trying to run away, but were shot several times in the back. The surrounding walls were scorched and riddled with bullet holes, along with bloody hand prints that streaked across them as well.

"Shredder rounds." Neil said to himself grimly.

"Spirits, it is a lot like the citadel coup. Isn't it?" Garrus commented in almost a raspy like whisper.

"I hate guessing right sometimes." Liara said to herself. "I'd guess the trail of bodies might lead us straight to Coats, right?" Vega asked with an unnerving calmness.

"Commander, permission to speak?" Ashley said with a stern voice.

"Ash, you've known me long enough to drop the formality crap. And you're a spectre. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Neil I hate to say it but, I think one of our primary goals should be to get Admiral Hackett off the ship and at a safe distance. He was their primary target after all. And the fact that they placed the bombs all the way down in engineering means that they could be trying to assassinate the admiral, and use the bombs as a tragic accident."

Despite all of their past…disagreements. Neil was rather surprised at Ashley's statement. This was probably one of the smartest things she had said in a while, and unfortunately a statement that he actually agreed with.

Neil got out of cover and motioned his group to follow. He now knew exactly where they were heading into. He walked into an open door with a flickering green light with a "CAFETERIA" labeled next to it. What he saw disturbed him even more. There were more bloodied corpses strewn across this area. Possibly over two dozen unarmed personal and several armed guards. Most of them were lying down on their seats or collapsed on their tables with their breakfast, plates, and utensils littering the entire area.

"Holy shit." Vega whispered out loud to himself.

"They were all having breakfast as if nothing in the galaxy would hurt them. They didn't expect their own allies and friends to go on a shooting rampage like this. Some of them are even wearing nightwear. This…is absolutely brutal." Garrus said with the same raspy tone as before.

"So your telling me…" Admiral Hackett began to speak somberly. "That you want to get me off this ship, and leave the fine men and women on this ship to this fate?" He was looking at the corpse of a nearby man who sat slumped over his meal of french toast breakfast.

Shepard was absolutely disgusted with the thought of possibly having to evacuate the  
Admiral and his team off the ship without saving as many people as he could. But the truth was, if they stayed, they would all surely die in this situation and Cerberus would have ultimately won. This is something he simply could not let happen, even in death.

"I can't believe I'm saying this Admiral, but I'm afraid that's what it's coming down to." He responded.

"Isn't there anyway to disarm those bombs?" Hackett asked.

"Unfortunately not Admiral." Liara spoke. "I tried to remotely deactivate them, however they are secured from a new and powerful firewall that even I am not able to tamper with myself. And the bombs are set up with a remote detonation. Anyone around the city of London could have the detonator and all they have to do is push a button. As far as I'm concerned, the bombs may go off at any minute, presumably after Coats escapes the ship."

Admiral Hackett narrowed his eyes and nodded. "Then we better move ladies and gentlemen, double time." Shepard nodded in acknowledgment and took point yet again, jogging quickly past the cafeteria and followed the bloody carnage that took place in the hallways of the crew quarters. "Admiral, you can at least order a ship evacuation. We might not save all of them but at least we can try to save some." Tali sympathetically suggested.

Admiral Hackett nodded and opened up the ship comm controls and spoke loud.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the SSV Reliant. We are in Code White. The ship and its crew has been compromised. This is not a drill. Leave all your belongings behind and head to your nearest escape pod and/or emergency shuttle bays…..godspeed all of you." He said sternly while picking up the pace. The adrenaline was rushing through everyone's veins. The bombs could go off at any given moment, their lives were in the hands of the enemy.

"The closest shuttle bay is all the way on the other side of this floor. Which I'm guessing is where Coats is heading, let's pick up the pace."

Neil abided to the Admiral's orders and sped his speed from a fast paced walk to a quick jog. He would glance to the side from time to time to spot any survivors, but it seemed like Cerberus had already murdered everyone on this floor. Up ahead, he was hearing yelling. He motioned everyone to stop, and he went behind a wall for cover. He took a quick peek and saw over a dozen armed marines. Neil checked his hud, and all of them were marked as hostiles. He signaled the others of the danger that was ahead of them. Sure enough with another close investigation of the scene, he saw the man who was giving the orders. It was Major Coats, or whoever the hell it is now. Coat's accent and tone seemed to be completely different than before. It was American and monotone, almost reminding him of the relaxed and eerily calm tone the original Illusive Man had. On top of that, it seemed like some of his facial features were changing. He still had his black hair, but he looked a lot older than he looked just a few moments ago. Almost looking as if he's in his late 50s or early 60s.

"This is our chance. We need to push through and capture Coats." Admiral Hackett stated with determination.

"Yes sir, but I think you should stay behind us. They are probably going to target you first once they spot you." Vega said while loading a fresh thermal clip into his avenger assault rifle.

Neil was taking another peek behind the wall to get another look at Coats. But suddenly Coats turned and made direct eye contact with him, making both of his pupils wide.

"We've been spotted! Delta you're with me. Alpha, eliminate all hostiles!" Coats ordered while pulling out two predator heavy pistols and firing at the wall Shepard was taking cover on. He then ran past the door adjacent to him along with six armed assailants following him, leaving the other eight to engage Shepard and his team.

"Hit them with the strongest force you've got!" Shepard barked at his team, took aim and fired a concussive explosion into the group. Soon Vega, Ashley, Hackett, and Garrus fired their concussive blasts of their own into the assailant group. Liara sent a large biotic bolt that that and threw two of the hostiles with so much force against a wall that their spines broke, letting out loud shrieks of intense pain and agony. One of the hostiles hurled a grenade towards the group's general area with a maniac yell of rage and frustration.

"Ashley!" Vega saw the grenade heading rapidly toward Spectre William's forehead. He acted off of instinct by throwing his weapon to the side, quickly wrapping his arms around her waist and throwing his weight back to the floor. He saved both of them from the grenade's detonation, but Ashley clenched her teeth in pain as she began to go deaf.

"Pissing off an Admiral is the last mistake you'll ever make." Hackett said calmly as he fired several three-rounded bursts from his vindicator. Two of them hit the Cerberus agents directly into the chest, sending them flying back to the floor among a mist of their blood. Shepard quickly glanced the area. He noted that as of now, two agents have their spines broken and presumed dead, while two others are surely dead or dying from a fatal shot into their chests and guts. The other four are scrambling to find cover while Shepard's team did the same. Garrus holstered his assault rifle and took out his Viper sniper, taking a close aim at one of the agents who had part of their head sticking out of cover. A loud bang resonated throughout the area as his shot went true to its target, with his target falling with a loud thump to the floor.

"Scoped and dropped." Garrus said in his usual fashion while aiming his sights down at another target.

One of the agents got out of cover to fire a concussive blast at Tali, but Tali's instincts acted quicker as she fired three rounds of her shotgun at her assailant before he could get an accurate shot at her, causing his concussive blast to hit the wall nearest to his to other allies while his limp corpse hits the floor. The last two agents where knocked back by the blast, leaving Neil to finish them off with ease.

"Is everyone alright?" He asked looking around until he saw Vega and Ashley leaning against the wall, clearly in some form of distress.

"Are you two alright?"

"I'm alright Loco, but I think Ash got hurt."

"I…can barely…hear you. Loud ringing." Ashley whispered while picking up her weapon.

"We'll get you the immediate help you need once we're off the ship." Shepard said while patting her on the shoulder.

"WHAT?!" Ashley yelled out in confusion.

"I said that we'll get you the help you need, but after we get off the ship." Neil responded calmly.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" She yelled out again.

"HE SAID THAT YOU'RE A JACKASS!" Garrus yelled out with that usual stupid smirk of his. Shepard glanced at him and shook his head.

"Nevermind, can fix later. We need to go." She whispered silently.

"We will get it fixed. Just hang in there for now." Neil ordered. He walked up to Garrus and attempted to give him an expression of anger but couldn't help grinning.

"Once we're out of this, I'm going to tell her what you said. And I'm going to enjoy watching her beat your ass down Vakarian." Tali started to giggle under her mask, but then regained her composure as she focused on the mission at hand.

"Right, so do we know how many more Cerberus agents are on the ship?" Garrus asked.

Liara observed her omni-tool, taking up a list of data and comm chatter.

"If my readings are correct. The data here suggests at least three dozen confirmed gunmen in the ship. Possibly even more. The Reliant is being overrun in a rather large force.

Admiral Hackett shook his head silently. "Then we need to get ourselves off this ship. Hopefully capturing Coats in the process."

"Agreed sir, let's move out." Neil said sternly as he jogged after Coats. He entered the next room which revealed a hallway, he was nowhere in sight. He began to pick up his pace to a fast run as he thought that Coats is already boarding a shuttle in one of the emergency hanger bays. Thankfully, everyone in his team was thinking the same thing and ran just as fast he was. Neil saw the emergency hanger bay and burst in guns blazing, taking the Cerberus agents by surprise. He was immediately able to shoot down two of them before taking cover with the rest of his team. To his dismay, there were more than six hostiles among Coats. There were about five more above on the hanger bay railways that were trying to flank him and his team. But luckily, a group of six real Alliance Marines barged in from a level above Shepard and engaged those Cerberus agents.

"The Calvary has arrived!" Garrus said while shooting down one of the hostile agents with a fatal shot to the chest. His eyes widened when he saw Coats boarding a shuttle that was about to take off.

"I see Coats, he's getting away!" He yelled out. He obviously knew the implications that once Coats escapes to a safe distance, the bombs will go off.

"Then we need to push through now!" Neil yelled out as he threw several grenades, leaving a trail of carnage among Cerberus. Most of them died from the blast, save from a few that were crawling to grab their weapons and continue fighting. Liara through a strong biotic pull at the remaining stragglers on the floor violently against the wall behind them. Both of them yelled before cracking their skulls against the wall. Looking above, Neil smiled as he saw the Alliance marines kill off all the remaining hostiles. Though his smirk grew into panic as he saw the shuttle Coat's boarded lifting off. Before it flew off, Coats made direct eye contact with Neil. He gave Shepard a passive expression, almost robotic. But he suddenly mocked him with a right raised eyebrow and a small smirk before his shuttle took off. Neil tried shooting at him, but his attempts were yet again futile as his bullets simply pinged off Coat's shields.

"That bastard got away!" Garrus yelled in frustration, only to be suddenly be interrupted with the ship vibrating violently.

"The bombs are being set off!" Tali said in distress.

"Then everyone get in the damn shuttle!" Hackett ordered while running towards his objective. The Alliance marines from above tried to desperately reach the group, but they unfortunately met their demise as an explosion from an adjacent wall sent some flying off the support railings from above and others screamed as they were set ablaze.

"Does anyone know how to pilot a damn shuttle!?" Neil yelled out.

"I'll pilot it!" Vega said.

"Then you better not ram the damned thing into anything while we're on it!" Garrus's voice was almost drowned out by another massive explosion, this one rocking the deck and threatening to send them all to the floor. Garrus stumbled to one knee, but Tali quickly righted him again and they continued running to the nearest shuttle.

"You can rest later you lazy bosh'tet!"

Everyone was now in this shuttle, buckling themselves up in their seats. Vega quickly brought up the shuttle's pilot controls and displays and started up the engine. The shuttle lifted up in the air but was rocking back and forth.

"Spirits damn you Vega! Your as bad a pilot as Shepard is a driver!"

"Stop being a damn backseat driver Scars!" Vega yelled while punching in several codes and buttons. Soon, their shuttle quickly flew out of the ship's shuttle bay in the knick of time. Looking out the back window showed that the entire bay was up in flames, and there were several larger explosions all over the ship. The bombs in the ship's engineering set off a chain reaction throughout the SSV Reliant. Hackett watched grimly as the Reliant and her crew went up in flames, a large explosion sending a shock wave that rocked the shuttle and briefly stunted the shuttle's mass effect core, sending her dropping about fifty feet in altitude before they stabilized.

"Don't worry, I have it steady!" Vega said while staying true to his word.

Everyone sighed in relief. Ashley slumped in her seat taking a deep breather, while others were simply lying back comfortably in their seats and closing their eyes. They all have yet again, tempted fate and death. For Neil, he guessed he had nearly ten near death experiences ever since he woke up in the Anderson Memorial Hospital.

"Even after the war, the galaxy is still a madhouse." Admiral Hackett said with grim frustration in his voice.

"You can say that again, Admiral." Neil said almost whispering as he was staring up at the ceiling.

"Those poor bastards." Garrus said solemnly while shaking his head. Obviously he was refrencing all of the victims onboard the SSV Reliant. Everyone was silent for several minutes as they tried to find a safe location to land. Chasing Coats was out of the question, since to their dismay he has completely dropped off the radar.

"Neil?" Tali asked softly, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Tali?" Neil responded back just as soft.

"About what you said earlier…about our plans. Cerberus is back in force and they almost killed us today. What are we going to do now?"

Neil sighed with a mix of sadness and frustration.

"I promise you that we will go through with our retirement plans. I will use every fiber of my being to make it happen." He said sternly.

"But for now…we all need to deal with what's happening."

Hackett glanced at both Neil and Tali and frowned.

"If I had to guess, you were about to issue your retirement before Cerberus shot up the ship?" Hackett asked grimly. He knew that it must be incredibly hard for the both of them. They already fought and survived against impossible odds, yet there were still monster that were out to get them.

"That was the plan, Admiral. But I'm guessing that after this, the galaxy is going to be at war with Cerberus again?"

Hackett let out a heavy sigh and nodded his head. "This attack clearly shows that Cerberus wants a fight. But this time we're going to show them that they bit off more than they can chew. I'll make sure that they go down for good this time, not only for the galaxy's sake." A faint lighthearted smile grew on his face.

"But for yours as well. For all of you. For the people that really deserve the right to live something that resembles a normal life." Garrus was about to say something amusingly witty, but held it back. He simply glanced at the Admiral and gave him a nod of acknowledgment.

"But, I'm going to need the best damn people this galaxy has to offer. And you all are my best candidates so far."

"I understand Admiral. We'll help you out now. But after this is all over, me and Tali are going to put away our guns."

Hackett nodded. "Good."

Coats now looked like his normal self. His black hair had some strains of grey in it, making him look much older than the impersonation he used to fool everyone for the longest time. His forehead had a few wrinkles, along with some aging along his cheeks and the sides of his mouth. He took off his contacts which revealed his true eyes. Both were green, but his left one was a replacement which made it glow brighter than the other. He frowned, successfully holding back his anger and frustration with the failure of his plans, but just barely. Coats felt like strangling his pilot but his calm composure and rationale got the better of him.

"Sir, you've got an incoming call from Operative Ghost 09." The pilot said.

He sighed and narrowed his eyebrows downward.

"Patch him through." His fake English accent was gone, only to be replaced with a lower and calm American accent.

"Patch him through." He ordered his pilot, glancing forward into space with irritation.

A hologram of Caleb in his civilian clothes.

"Ghost 09. Your recklessness is starting to get on my nerves. You almost blew me up in Reliant."

"Apologies again, sir." Caleb Ronan did not address Coats in his usual maniacal manner; instead he treated Coats with utmost respect and formality. Almost like how an indentured servant would treat their master's and bosses with utmost respect.

"One of these days Ghost, your apologies will catch up with you. And the consequences of your actions will be severe." Coats said while lighting up a cigar and smoking it. He took a quick puff but then quickly took it out of his mouth looking at it with disgust.

"Russian branded? How the hell did the Jack Harper enjoy smoking these nonstop?"

"They do have a rather strong and horrible taste to them, sir." Caleb said while nodding his head.

"Hmm." Coats said while still playing around with his lit cigar.

"Under my command, I will make Cerberus a force that is not to be reckoned with. Something that Harper ultimately failed. And you are, and will help us get there. Am I right to trust you with that assumption, Caleb?"

"Of course sir. I am one of the best operatives humanity has to offer. And I will help not only Cerberus to ascension, but humanity as a whole."

Coats smiled at his comment, still looking at the burning cigar and it's ashes.

"Glad to hear it, Caleb. Humanity along with the rest of the galaxy is at a very vulnerable state. We need to make sure humanity has risen to ascension, and not remain as second class citizens. We need to make sure all of them are ready for the next storm, whenever and wherever it hits. Harper originally had his heart and mind in the right place before the reapers attacked, but his ambitions made him reckless and stupid. This time, no matter how many setbacks we take, much like the failure of killing Admiral Hackett, we will make humanity the Apex. And we will lead the rest of the galaxy. The other races will either follow, or they will inevitably perish as far as natural selection goes."

"Yes sir."

"With that said, we need to move forward with our plans. Round up testing….volunteers. Do it soon, because we are moving out of the region."

"With pleasure, Mister Harris."

"Please Caleb. I'd rather you call me the Illusive Man. I rather like the sound of that name more."

* * *

_You guys didn't think I would end the story with everyone dying in a giant fiery explosion, did you? _

_=p_

_Also, because I really love soundtracks and music. I'm going to throw some of those "_**Author suggested soundtrack"** _stuff more often, in order to 'in my opinion' enhance the story's mood and atmosphere. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!__  
_


	21. Chapter 19: Grasp of Lost Paradise

In memorium of Robin Sachs and Zaeed. He will always be the greatest guddamned hero in the galaxy.

* * *

Chapter 19- Grasp of Lost Paradise

_"It's been one week."_

One week since the "Reliant tragedy" as the sensationalist media machines so gladly dubbed it. It hadn't taken society very long to regain and repair some of it's old and annoying quirks such as the paparazzi and media gossip. He'd been surprised that it had taken them so long to finally start following him and every one he knew to whatever corner of the Earth they had gone to.

Shepard should have kept that in mind when Hackett sent him and his team to the pacific coast of the United North American States. Especially in the makeshift intergalactic refugee tent city located smack dab in the middle of the Hollywood Pier. When news broke out that they arrived in the area, most of the news outlets scrambled to wherever they were sighted in order to get their fix. One of the most frequent questions he and his friends were asked was, "how they felt" about things. Shepard exhaled a laugh at that. They had just won a war and were on the brink of another one. What type of answer were they expecting besides the occasional, "I'm good" or, "I'm Tired"? Surprisingly, none of them attempted to delve into his love life with a quarian admiral and he was thankful for that. However, he knew it was only a matter of time until that became the center topic of gossip amongst most people.

Shepard and his crew were more than willing to use normal sized tents for themselves, but instead they had been approached by the owners of the "Blue Horizon". A large and surprisingly unscathed building that was being used to house the homeless and nurse the injured back to normal. He found it fascinating that such a large structure had actually survived. The 20-story building stood there triumphantly among the heap of destruction in it's immediate surrounding. It faced towards the reaper-corpse infested ocean which glimmered amongst the sunlight.

The lovely couple offered them to stay in whatever empty presidential suites they had left in this building. He'd tried turning them down at first, but they had insisted it was the least they could do for the group of heroes that allowed them to live to see another tomorrow. Not only that, but they'd given them a room specifically for Tali and himself; with an outside balcony and a view of the ocean.

However, that happened a day before. It neared the dawn of the next day and the couple still hadn't left their room. The majority of the day before they had been, "enjoying each others company". But his friends knew what that really meant and had decided to leave them alone. Tali was curled up and snuggling into his chest. Both arms were wrapped around his waist and her feet were intertwined with his. She held a steady and peaceful breathing pattern as if she was in her own little sanctuary. Of course, he didn't mind that fact one bit. Every time they were alone with each others warm embrace, it always felt like he'd found his own little slice of heaven.

He had a hard time waiting for the day they could both experience that feeling on a daily basis; but he'd find a way to get a plot of land on Rannoch and see that they did. But since Cerberus was more than just a, "petty issue", they would have to make do with what they had. Though at that particular moment, all his thoughts of Cerberus and other potential threats were just white noise compared to the soft sighs of contentment from Tali. Her gentle and quiet breathing mixed beautifully with the sounds of the nearby ocean. He smiled as a rather amusing memory came to him. Her face lighting up the moment they had entered the hotel room and saw the view.

_"She wasn't lying when she said she loved beachfront property."_ He thought to himself while he looked down at her resting his forehead against hers, but she still didn't so much as twitch.

_"She's definitely a heavy sleeper, or maybe it had something to do with all of those "physical activities" that we've been doing_ _in this hotel room yesterday."_ Neil grinned at the memory of Tali pouncing him on the bed as soon as they'd entered the room for the first time.

Shepard noticed her bright smile that was etched on her face and it lit a flare in his heart. He found it rather amazing how just a simple and rather normal facial expression would strike him with such powerful emotions such as passion and love. Only a being such as Tali would be able to accomplish such a feat with every single moment he was with her. If it wasn't for that attack on himself and his... Normandy family, he could easily see himself staying here with Tali; indulging himself in the peace and tranquility. Part of him still occasionally thought of just dropping all his responsibilities and obligations and taking her away, but every time his subconscious struck the idea down.

But they all knew they had been sent here for the specific goal of investigating Cerberus' whereabouts; and that it was a race against time now that the relays were expected to be functional within the month. That of course meant that if they *didn't* find anything on Cerberus out here, then they could very well make a run for the relay and set up shop somewhere he'd never find them. His smile deepened as he thought about some random building collapsing on all of them and that that could be the end of it. It was wishful thinking, certainly. But if his adventures had taught him anything, it was that it never hurt to have a little hope. Shepard knew that they were smarter than that.

"Good morning, Neil." She spoke to him in that sing-songy voice of hers with that smile still etched on her face, and planted a kiss on his lips. "Were you deep in your thoughts again? I can always tell whenever you wander off somewhere else."

Shepard gave a heart-filled chuckle under his breath while wrapping his arms around her torso. "I have to admit, your good at catching me off guard sometimes."

"Sometimes? Hmm, I get you almost every time."

They spent almost an entire hour embracing and snuggling each other in silence. No words were necessary; they just enjoyed each others' warmth and company.

"It's so beautiful here Shepard. all the devastation this, "Pacific Coast" region is very peaceful."

"Is that something to keep in mind whenever we decide to go out on vacations?"

"Mhm!" She said excitedly while nodding her head. Though her expression changed within a moment's notice.

"If only we were on a vacation right now instead of protecting the galaxy from Cerberus a second time."

"Hey now. Don't you worry about that. We'll have our time soon enough. Let's not think of this as a mission, but more like a favor for Hackett."

Tali gazed down and started to nervously wring her hands.

"Knowing our luck, this will somehow blow up in our face and turn into a full scale war." Her mood rapidly turned into a state of melancholy from there.

Neil reached out and cupped her cheek with his right hand.

"You worry to much." He spoke softly with a reassured smile.

Tali looked up into his eyes for a few silent moments before pulling his body close for a hug. Shepard returned her embrace and locked his lips with hers. After their moment of intimacy Shepard and Tali got out of bed and went onto their balcony to gaze at the crystalline ocean.

"It's a beautiful day, why don't we walk around and catch up with the gang? Take our mind off things." Shepard said optimistically while holding her hand in his. The breeze of the ocean began to pass over them like a wave. Tali's hair flowing back against the wind with the sunlight reflecting off of it.

"Hmmm. I definitely wouldn't mind a long walk on the beach with someone like you."

"Somehow, I knew you were going to say something like that. Hmm?" He just noticed that his omni-tool was being pinged repeatedly for the past hour.

"That's probably Garrus. He was trying to call us for quite some time now but...I guess we were to busy to notice." Tali said amused.

"Heh, poor guy." Shepard imagined Garrus being all worked up from constantly being ignored by his two best friends for an entire day and he couldn't help but grin. He flipped on his omni-tool and answered Garrus's vid call and wasn't surprised to see him look agitated.

"Talk to me dingus face." He said in his usual monotone voice.

"Damn it Shepard. Where the hell have you two been?"

"Well that's a bit of a dumb question. We were up here the whole time."

"You should have answered my calls then. I was beginning to think that something happened to both of you." Garrus said with his mandibles beginning to flare. Though Shepard couldn't help by feel amused by all of this.

"Well, you should have just came up and knocked on the door then. You know what room we're in."

"What _have_ you two been doing for the past day then?"

"Oh you know... investigating." This response made Tali cover her mouth with both of her palms in an attempt to stop herself from laughing out loud.

Garrus however rolled his eyes, or did something similar to that extent.

"So that'swhat they're calling it these days. Well when you two are done _"investigating" _each other, get your ass down here at the ground floor. We're all sitting around the beach side bar, and you won't *believe* whose ugly face decided to show up.

"You're as subtle as ever Vakarian. And we'll be down there in about in a half an hour."

"Well you better be. Or else I'm just going to bring the whole drinking party up in your room for the rest of the day."

"Yeah yeah..." He glanced over at Tali, noticing how beautiful she looked under the sunlight, in front of the glistening ocean. He always seemed to have a shortness of breath with his chest tightening whenever he saw her like that. Tali had always been like an angel to his eyes, mask or not. Whenever he had the opportunity to see her face, he saw too the true hidden beauty behind the gesture; the love and trust she had for him and him alone. It was something truly special to him; that a woman like her would choose to be with him out of everyone else in the galaxy. So on the occasions that she did take off her mask, he couldn't help but embrace her, touch her soft skin and kiss her. Which was exactly what he did. He had a brief surge of emotion for a moment, making him think about calling back down to Garrus and telling him to wait, but he knew he couldn't stall relaity forever. He leaned in for one last kiss, feeling her melt into his arms. Shepard quickly pulled back, his chest heaving with heavy breaths and his eyelids half lowered.

"I told Garrus we'd be right down, but i think we can... investigate, a little more before we do. Sound like a plan?"

"Mmmhm." She purred under her breath while she quickly pushed him back inside the suite.

* * *

When they finally made their way to the first floor they were of course greeted by a familiar turian with his arms crossed in front of him.

"It's about damned time that you two decided to show up again. If you'd made me wait any longer I'd have launched my own rescue and extraction op on your room with the rest of the gang."

"And we both know that would end with you having a giant boot mark on your face." Neil responded gracefully with a friendly slap on the shoulder.

"Now show me who you guys ran into over here." He said eagerly while Garrus guided him to the hotel beach side bar.

"To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised he's here. He always seems to show up when you least expect him."

Neil's eyes narrowed deep in thought, but his face quickly brightened to a realization.

"You can't be serious. Him? Here?"

"Wait, who?" Tali asked curiously.

And as if on que, they entered the beachside bar with the rest of the team gathering around with drinks in hand, along with one old but familiar mercenary with a scarred eye and yellow armor.

"You have to be guddamn shitting me. You all weren't joking." The mercenary muttered, perplexed. He slammed his mug down on the table and stood up. He offered out his hand with a grin, with Shepard accepting the offer griping his hand hard.

"Fancy meeting someone like you here, Zaeed."


	22. THE FINAL CHAPTER

I thank you all for taking this journey with me. It has been nearly a year, but now its time to put this story to a close. To me, Shepard and Tali will always be on an adventure, forever. I hope you all enjoy the finale!

* * *

DURSPECTIVE FURNALE

"_HOLY SHIT I'M WRITING IN ITALICS."- MrBlazenGlazen_

And then, Zaeed turned into purple blob monster with one pink eye.

"I'm freaking out, man." Shepard said cross eyed.

"You are freaking out, man." Said the ten foot tali monster with a giant gene simmons toungue sticking out of her helmet.

"What the hell is a gene simmons?" Shepard said before passing out on the bar table.

* * *

And then he was in a forest, that was on FIIIIIIREEEE. And he was all like "Oh hot damn, my mind is flippin a bitch again." Then the catalyst kid came out of a tree with Tali holding him and he said "SKREEEEEEEEEEEEE" but for some reason Shepard was dragged towards them from giant tentacles that came out of Tali's helmet.

"Oh I'd like to see where this is going."

And then he took off Tali's faceplate and he saw Liara with a wig.

"SHEPARD I LURVE YOU, LETS SEX. HUEUEUEUEUEUEUE."

"Mmm I always wanted to touch blueberry muffins." Shepard said while squeezing his nipples.

"SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Said the boy.

"SHUT UP MEG!" Said Liatali. Her jaw unhinged like a snake and devoured the catalyst's head and she threw his body up 10,000 feet into the air.

"HOO SHIT!" Shepard exclaimedd before Liatali bit off his 5 inch nipples.

* * *

"HOLY SHIT MONKEY ON A STICK!" Shepard said when he woke up screaming and protecting his chest with his hands. He glanced around and realized he is back on teh hotel room and sighed.

"My mind is so dark. Oh god so dark I'm so depressed. It's so dark that, I'm fat."

He looked at the figure next to him and suspected it was Tali. He started to gently shake her to wake up.

"Tali, I am so fat. I ate boo the space hamster again."

And then what was revealed was horrifying. It wasn't tali that was in the bed...

It was Caleb Ronan who was shirtless and was biting his lips seductively towards shepard.

"OH GOD, I WAS GETTING HARD FOR YOU THE WHOLE TIME?!" Shepard saiid horrifyingly.

Then, Caleb ripped off his mask and revealed his TRUE IDENTITEH!

Shepard gasped exasperatediingngly at the HORROR.

Caleb was the space hamster, the entire time. IT WAS A PLOT TWIST FROM THE VERRY BEGGINING.

"Squeak squeak squeak sq sq sq squeak. SQUEAAAAAAK SQUEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AK HISSSSSSSS!" Which roughly translated to "Yes, it was me the entire time. I shall DESTROY YOU LIKE HOW YOU DESTROYED MY FAMILY TENFOLD. YOUR ASS IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIINNNNE HISSSSSSSS!"

Shepard got out of bed and ran around in circles in sheer PANIC! But then he summoned a great unnatural force...

Jacob Taylor bashed through the main entrance in a bunny costume and immediately tackled Hamster Ronan out of the window, sending them tumbling and falling to the ground below.

"NOOOOOOOO. YOU WERE MY TRUE BEST FRIEND JASON TAYLOR!" Shepard yelled out to them.

"Neil? What happened here?"

Shepard turned around to see Tali standing in the doorway. He was so happy to see her. Like he was so happy that he was happy. And deep down, she was too. They were so happy.

Shepard ran towards Tali happily in slow motion.

"Hurry it up Shepard I don't have all day!"

And then shepard ran towards Tali happily in fast motion and then he hugged her and she hugged him and he licked Tali's helmet happpily.

But then shepard frowned and he went all sad face.

"I just wish Johnny Taylor were still alive, but he sacrificed him or herself to defeat thee ultimate bad buy of the galaxy."

But then, Tali removed her faceplate and revealed her true identity.

"THEPRIIIZE, MOTHAFUCKA!" Jacob Taylor was a quarian female the entire time.

And Neil Shepard and Johan Taylor lived happily ever after.

* * *

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THE FINALE PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND LIKES AND LOVES I LOVE ALL OF YOU! HEART HEART HEART

Oh, and happy April 1st trololololololololol.


	23. Chapter 20: Bed, Booze, and Beyond

Chapter 20- Bed, Booze and Beyond

"_Fancy meeting you here, Zaeed." _

Both men shook each others' hands vigorously. Shepard on one side was grinning like a madman; obviously excited to see that one of his favorite 'guddamned' mercenary, besides Wrex of course, who survived the war. It filled him with hope that many other familiar faces could also have possibly survived as well. Zaeed kept his usual facial posture but it was quite obvious that he was surprised.

"Christ, it really is you." Zaeed said, his scarred face changing little to show his shock.

"In the flesh." Neil responded in a cocky manner. Both men didn't notice that they were shaking each other's hands for almost an entire minute until Garrus interrupted.

"You're not going to lock yourself into another romantic relationship in front of Tali, are you Shepard?"

"Shut the hell up, Vakarian_." _Both Neil and Zaeed said in unison, which was followed by several seconds of awkward silence.

"Well, that's cute. Soon you'll both finish each others sentences." Garrus said with a smirk while taking a swig of whatever Dextro beverage he was drinking. The patrons around them, which consisted mostly of Shepard's team, snorted and giggled at the turian's comments to which Shepard and Tali responded with facepalms. Zaeed just scowled.

"So...anyways. What have you been up to Zaeed?" Neil said in attempt to recover from embarrassment.

"We certainly haven't seen or heard from you in a while." Tali added with a nod.

Zaeed let out a heavy sigh and took a swig of his whatever alcohol he ordered.

"Well, I was enjoying the peace and quiet for once until you kids showed up. They all offered me drinks and I'm probably on my fifth shot of whatever type of bloody poison this is. Damned bastards trying to give me a liver infection."

"Hey, don't pin that bullshit on us pops. It's you who's deciding to down those shots of Jagermeister like a fish." Vega shot back with a humorous smirk on his face.

"Panzies, the lot of you! I'm in a love/hate relationship with this tonic." Zaeed's good eye admired the bottle in his hand lazily, a look of mild approval shined through the mass of scars.

"Wait a sec. Let's take a few paces back. It's not even noon and all of you are already drinking alcohol. Isn't there some type of a rule against that or...?" Shepard raised an eyebrow while scratching the back of his head.

"To hell with your guddamn social norms! Sit your arse down. That goes for your lady-friend too." Zaeed gestured at both her and Shepard to sit down with the rest of the crew. Shepard gratefully obliged, but she was a bit reluctant.

"If there is anything I've learned while I was on the Normandy, it was that I cannot handle my alcohol very well." She voiced her complaint to Zaeed, but it was Vega who spoke first.

"Heh heh, that just makes everything better!"

"Do you honestly think any of us can handle our alcohol any better?" Ashley spoke loudly with drunken stupor. Causing Vega to flinch and check his ears in response.

"Ya sparks. Just look at Ash! We've been here for less than an hour and she's already hammered." Vega laughed heartily while some of his drink spilled on the floor. However, Spectre Williams wasn't as amused and shot him a glare.

"You! Ya shut the...hell up, ya pussy!" She downed another shot of rum while she begun to sway slightly to the side. The glass was slammed on the table which made a portion crack in half and she jabbed a finger at Vega's chest.

"You're a...a..uhhh...a lightweight! I can totally beeeeeaaaat you at drinking cause imma queen of alcohol, and you're a lightweight! Ha!" Ashley almost fell off her chair

James gave her a toothy amused grin as he raised his hands in feign surrender.

"Alright alright. I get it, "Queen of Alcohol even though I only had four and a half shots."You win."

"Heh. Check out the Asari too. She's so shitfaced that she's going fucking psychotic over her glass." Zaeed pointed at Liara while chuckling to himself.

"My drink is turning into...a different color. Oh look at that, it's turning blue just like me!" Liara exclaimed while seeming genuinely intrigued at her shot glass changing color every 10 seconds.

"Liara? Are you...okay?" Tali looked at her seeming genuinely concerned about her current mental state.

"Bah! Don't worry about it." Zaeed approached Shepard and Tali and whispered to them quietly. "That overgrown smurf doesn't realize that there are lights in her shot glass that change color every several seconds, and it's fuckin' hysterical. Just play along with it for a while."

Both of them snorted in unison and nodded their heads. Garrus, standing right next to them rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"I've been drinking almost as much as Zaeed has and I'm fine. Everyone else here just has a pathetically low alcohol tolerance. Fine by me, I can just sit back and laugh at you all."

"Ya, and we'll all kick your ass and funnel you this poison until you end up tripping over yourself like a clumsy bastard." Zaeed retorted before downing the rest of his ale.

"No, really everyone. Why is my drink changing color? It's pink now...am I going to change color if I drink this?"

"Why don't you drink it and find out?" Ashley yelled loudly while Vega laughed at Liara's current predicament.

Shepard turned to Tali and slowly massaged her back with his left hand.

"You see? Everyone here is having fun. And don't worry about getting drunk, we'll look after you. I promise, alright?"

Tali looked up at her lover and gave him a smile that melted his heart. "I think I'd like that Neil, thank you." She spoke to him softly.

"Yeah Tali, I'll look after you. But I might record some of the things you say and do and put it up on the web, because some of the things you do are comedy gold. Comedy. Gold." Garrus chuckled to himself before downing a few more shots.

"And then I will rip off both of your mandibles and put it up on the extranet as well." Tali spoke back calmly while still maintaining her loving attention to Shepard; who looked at her in shock along with the rest of the group, except Zaeed. Except Liara, who was still awkwardly intrigued with her shot glass while under the influence.

"Ha ha! I like this one's style. You picked yourself a spicy one Shepard."

"Right...so. Tali, let's sit down for a bit and let loose. Come on." Shepard pulled out a chair for Tali and ordered her something light to start off with first.

* * *

_1 ½ hours later..._

"WEEEEEE, YEAAAAH!" Tali downed another shot glass, and slammed it down next to the other eighteen empty glasses in front of her. Everyone else including Zaeed were completely dumbfounded on how this quarian girl was able to out-drink nearly everyone in a span of less than two hours. There were also new onlookers now. Once the news that Shepard and his crew were kicking it off at the local hotel bar people began to trickle in to watch in amusement and awe of the crew flailing around and rambling in an incoherent, drunken manner. In which Tali was the most bombastic of the group.

"Neeeeeeeil! I reaaaaaaally want to go to one of these amusement parks that these pamphlets keep showing! They look so much fuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn!" Tali was reenacting the poses of people on roller coasters and was flailing her arms about. Though she was doing this for the past thirty minutes and she was starting to get exhausted. She started to droop on Shepard's lap and kept mumbling to herself.

"I wanna...I wanna go..." She kept this up for several more minutes until it was apparent that she was completely knocked out and sleeping. Garrus, Vega, and Ashley burst out into laughter after she began to snore and cuddle up against Shepard's body.

"Well, that just happened." Garrus smirked while poking Tali's shoulder.

"Hot damn, she is completely passed out." Ashley commented with an amused expression.

"Ha ha! We got sparks completely shit faced! Hey Loco, your lady friend is actually a pretty funny drunk!"

"She uh... probably had way too much to drink, heh." Shepard started to slowly massage her shoulders and back for a minute and realized that Tali really was down for the count for the time being.

"Too much to drink? What are you, a prissy little girl?" Zaeed scoffed at the very thought.

"There is no such thing as "too much to drink". Alcohol is what keeps most of the universe from going bat-shit crazy. So drink your poison you pansies! "

Garrus brought his head up and blinked a few times in astonishment at how insane that comment sounded, and spoke up.

"Zaeed. Ahm...there is actually a term for "too much to drink." It's called alcohol poisoning, and many people around the galaxy _including _krogan die from it every single day. And uh, one of it's side effects is that it does make people lose it a little as we can all see from exhibit A..." He pointed a talon at Tali snoring loudly while she laid curled up in the fetal position on Shepard's lap.

"...and exhibit B." He gestured towards Liara who was engaged in a vicious staring contest with her colorful light changing shot glass for who knows how long.

"I-I think I may have discovered a few colors know one has ever seen before."

Ashley Williams slowly placed her palm on her forehead out of pure annoyance and frustration.

"Her and her fucking colors." She muttered under her breath.

"Is she going to be alright?" Vega stared at Liara with curiosity and some genuine concern.

"Because... I dunno, I don't think that's what's supposed to happen when someone is drunk, right?"

Zaeed chuckled under his breath which caused everyone to return their attention to him.

"Nah, the broad is drunk alright. Damn idiot asked the bartender over there to mix her the strongest drink out of curiosity. Scottish vodka mixed with some type of flavored Jamaican liquor. 165 proof and almost 80 percent alcohol. I dared her to have two shots, but she went all gung ho and drunk herself nine shots. _**80**_ percent alcohol, let that bloody sink in for a second."

Shepard's eyes widened in pure amazement. "Jesus! Isn't that the equivalent of drinking rubbing alcohol? Or close to it?"

Garrus shook his head and shrugged. "I did try to warn her. But you know her. Once her mind is set on something nothing will stop her."

"Well, I think it's for the best that we go get some rest and sober up as soon as we can. We never know when we might get a call about Cerberus activity around here. And I think it's safe to say that we shouldn't drink this much alcohol in the middle of the day."

Everyone that was paying attention to what Shepard had to say nodded their head in acknowledgment. Save for Zaeed who slowly shook his head in disappointment.

"Guddamned pantywaists, all of you."

"We love you too, Zaeed. But on the off chance Shepard is right. We need to be at the top of our game if Cerberus decides to show up somewhere." Garrus retorted.

"Ya, whatever. Hey Shepard, why don't you let me lend you a hand with that Cerberus crap. To be honest I came down here for some work, but absolutely nothing is going on here. I'll help you out, free of charge."

"Of course, Zaeed. I already considered you to be one of us anyway. Welcome aboard." Shepard extended his hand, and Zaeed firmly shook it.

"Glad to be back. Now get back in bed and sober up. Damned lightweights need your beauty sleep, eh? And you already have my number, so if someone needs to have some thermal clips shoved up their ass you know how to find me."

"Duly noted. We'll catch you later." Neil faced towards everyone else and gave them the same gesture.

"Same goes for all of you. We'll meet up in the evening, hopefully by then all the alcohol should have left our systems. I'll be giving you all a call so make sure you have enough rest by then."

Ashley and Vega both nodded in acknowledgment and parted ways. Garrus was about to leave until shepard stopped him.

"Hey uh, Garrus. You mind doing me a favor?"

"Hmm? Need help carrying Tali to your room?"

"Nah, I'm good. But uh, I don't think Liara over there is really faring so well. Think you can get her to her room before she hurts herself?"

Both of them glanced at Liara who was still staring wide eyed at her shot glass.

"Prettyyyyyy colorrrrrsss."

Garrus made a noise that closely resembled a snort and nodded his head.

"Ya, sure. But I think it's going to be a challenge to hold back from recording vids, because this is just golden."

"Heh, you do realize that if she finds out she'll be one pissed off biotic right? Aaaaand knowing what she can do with her biotics..."

"Point taken. Alright. I'll catch you later Neil. Give me a call if you need anything."

"Right, I'll talk to you later."

Shepard stood up with a sleeping quarian in his arms. She was surprisingly harder to carry around than he originally thought. Or maybe the alcohol in his system was causing him to be weaker than usual. Either way, he thought this predicament was both hilarious and adorable at the same time, but he was sure that Tali would kick his ass if he brought it up. He said his last goodbyes to Garrus and Zaeed and slowly made his way back to their room.

* * *

_2 hours later..._

It was getting close to three in the afternoon. Tali was still blissfully asleep. Shepard could tell that she was having a wonderfully comfortable dream because of that beautiful smile. He could also tell that it had something to do with him since she occasionally muttered his name. Seeing her in this state always warmed his heart. This was the peace that he had yearned for for all those years, and it felt heavenly. Though he did get nervous at times, The urge to do more than cuddling and embracing Tali whenever she got clingy in her sleep.

And that was when the call came in.

"_Hrm, what the hell?"_ Neil muttered under his breath. He really did not have the energy to do much of anything right then, so the call was ignored. But after a few more minutes of silence, the omni-tool started to ring again and again. He rubbed his forehead together sat up. The omni-tool kept beeping with it's urgency. Tali was fast asleep and completely knocked out. All attempts to wake her up were futile.

He lazily opened up his missed calls, and then he was immediately pinged with another call. It was from Admiral Hackett.

"_Oh shit..." _He muttered out loud to himself while he immediately answered the call.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking."

"Ah, Shepard. It's good I was able get a hold of you. How are you and the rest of team holding up over there?"

"Fine and dandy sir."

"Well, good. Because we need you to go investigate an area with some unusual activity."

"Is it Cerberus, sir?"

"We aren't sure. Not yet. It could be Cerberus, or it could be a pocket of survivors that no one noticed until now. Either way, we want you to go and investigate as soon as possible. Surveillance teams have picked up some activity around the Santa Monica area, not very far away from where you are."

"Santa Monica, sir? Wasn't that one of the places that was hit the hardest from the invasion?"

"Indeed it was Shepard. Most of that town is just a bunch of craters, scrap, and rubble. But we believe this is worth a look. Stay sharp out there and report back to me as soon as you are done. Hackett out."

He ended the call and slumped over.

"_Horrible fucking timing, Admiral." _He muttered to himself while looking back and forth between Tali and his gear.

_Guess there's nothing for it. _He thought to himself as he rolled out of bed and began grabbing his things.

* * *

_Thirty minutes later_...

There was no way that his team was at their best right now. Tali was completely knocked out. He decided to call Vega and Ashley, but when they answered they sounded like zombies. So those two were out of the question. He didn't even bother to call Liara because she is either knocked unconscious from drinking several shots of something the equivalent of rubbing alcohol. Or was still freaking out over all the amazing colors in the known universe. That left only Garrus and Zaeed. He could always count on Garrus to be reliable. As for Zaeed, everyone had always suspected that he was probably drunk whenever he was fighting. The three of them could take on an entire small army and possibly more at their current state.

But it still made him feel uneasy about this current situation. Cerberus, and Caleb Ronan had become incredibly cunning and sadistic with their plans. If they have set a trap for them, then they might be in deep trouble. Either way, he can't just sit around and wait. If this really was Cerberus then this may be the only opportunity to stop them before they became a major threat again. This mission could go either way, and for the first time in a while he was legitimately afraid about how it may turn out.

"Hey, loverboy. Pull your head outta your arse and let's get down to business."

His rough and raspy voice immediately thrusted him back into the present. Shepard blinked a few times and looked around. He was in a shuttle with both Zaeed and Garrus staring at him. All three men were wearing their signature armor and were armed to the teeth. The only problem was that Shepard didn't feel like he was sharp and focused as he usually was, and that might prove to be a problem.

"You alright there Neil?" Garrus asked sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"Just alright? Well that's a relief." Garrus scoffed. "You look like someone who can't handle their alcohol very well. Very similar to the type of people I had to take in at night back when I was with C-sec. Also, if you daze off on us during the mission, we both agreed that one of us can slap you across the face."

"Wait, you are telling me that the both of you agreed on something for once?" Shepard responded with a grin etching across both cheeks.

"For once? Well uh, we actually got along with each other from the beginning to be honest."

"Ya. Most of your crew on the Normandy were a bunch of little kiss asses and shitheads. Garrus happened to be the only one I enjoyed talking to the most. Well, that and Grunt I suppose."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "The more you know..."

All three heads turned when there was a loud knocking coming from the shuttle pilot.

"We are getting close to the site Commander. ETA thirty seconds."

"Alright, what's the condition out there?"

"There are a lot of craters and debris. This place was hit hard. There are still some traces of

radiation here and there. It's advised that you all wear protective air-tight gear for the time being."

Shepard looked back at his two squadmates with concern on his face. Garrus stared back at him, sharing his same thoughts.

"I don't like this either Shepard. Cerberus isn't really the type to expose themselves on purpose. But someone has to do it, right?"

Neil sighed and shook his head. "...Yeah. I'm more concerned about being outgunned since the rest of the team is still sobering up. And uh, I'm pretty nervous about what my excuse would be for leaving Tali behind."

"Pah, you don't have to worry about your lady-friend Shepard. That bottle is still sunk and won't be coming up for air anytime soon." Zaeed said with a smirk on his face.

Shepard was going to say something but he was interrupted by the pilot.

"We've landed. Stay safe out there gentlemen, I'll be topside."

"Alright you two. Lets look strong." He said while equipping his combat helmet and doing one last check up on his gear.

Both men nodded their head in acknowledgment and followed Shepard's lead outside. It was a good thing they wore their full suits, because the remains of Santa Monica were still covered in smoke and dust almost to the point where it blotted out the sun. It was as if the entire area was covered with a pestilent mixture of fog, smoke, debris, and other harmful substances. The strong ocean wind made dust, paper, and garbage fly around the streets. There were still remnants of the deceased strewn across the streets, buildings, and rubble. As well as reaper corpses that collapsed on the city or fell from the sky that caused massive area damage around them.

This place had been a war zone, only now it was eerily silent.

((I apologize for taking this long to come up with a chapter. I admit, it wasn't just school that stalled me. I've been experiencing severe writer's block. I feel like I'm starting to lose my edge but I'm going to keep pushing through. Thank you.))


End file.
